I feel your pain , my 4 children tried to destroy me , one was very toxic and told me he would turn the others , and he did , i tried to take my life due to his behaviour , i was so low ! i got found by friends, and i am glad , i got therapy , removed all toxic people , and my kids , they are in 30s and 40s , (still got my daughter 23 ) , and i have been the happiest i have every been , dont get my wrong , i love my kids so much but will not be a part of their toxic behaviour , they can knock the door anytime and i will treat them as if non of the behaviour happened , it took me 5 years to heal , i must have been a ok parent as i have adopted a 15 yr old boy ,
please try and think we are not in control of their behaviour , they are adults and you deserve a lot better , sending you lots of hugs xxxxx