Support and friendship For Those Estranged

Babs I go to York on Monday until Friday. It's a direct train for me to York takes just over 2 hours. Booked taxi to take me to the station and booked the one to take me to my hotel in York . Getting the help I need to get in and out of the cars. Tuesday going on tour of chocolate factory then tasting, Wednesday got my ticket for the hop on hop off bus which stops at places to visit like museums and Thursday having afternoon tea at Betty's tearoom. Having dinner out as the premier inn is the same menu as I had in Berwick upon Tweed and was limited to what I could eat. Looking forward to any unusual shops and see if there is anything for Christmas presents .

I have already brought one for my best friend. Saw it and got it incase I couldn't remember where I saw it. I love shopping on Etsy as they have things that are different. And like to support small businesses..

Having my new window.fitted tomorrow so will be glad it's done.

Never been to Bath . But I do love McDonald and Dobbs which is set in Bath.

It's always nice to have something to look forward to .

Can't remember if I said I go to the Brain Charity for gel printing class on a Wednesday morning. Started 6 weeks ago as I was intrigued what it was and love it. Plus the people in the class are lovely and it's not just doing the art but the social aspect I like. Our teacher wants us to put on an exhibition and wondered if anyone knew where it could be. I suggested the library I go to for craft group. And they are letting us have a room and our exhibition will run from 1st-12th October. The council I come under likes various groups to use the libraries and the rooms are free.
It makes me laugh she calls us artists. But am pleased with some of things I have produced. As I always came bottom at art at school.

I can cross stitch which I am addicted to and pleased with what I produce. Plus it's a slow craft and and very relaxing . Some of my work is on the cross stitch thread along with others on arts forum . Blowing my own 🎺.🤣.

Have a brilliant holiday Whiff, enjoy 🙂

@whiff

Cross stitch sounds like it takes a lot of patience well done you for mastering it. Was an elderly lady I knew when we lived in Lancs who did what she called tatting, is a kind of crochet, her work was so delicate and beautiful, she made me a bookmark that I still have today but I don’t use it, is too pretty. Xx

Have a great holiday York is amazing.

Morning all from a very stormy area. Thunder storms throughout the night almost shadowing the stormy thoughts in my head.
Today is going to be hard. This afternoon I have an appointment with the neurologist who has reviewed my brain scans from 2 months ago. Although initially thought to be a flare up of Chiari which I was born with at base of my brain ,now reconsidering diagnosis of ms. This would account for most of my disabling symptoms. A friend is coming with me for transport and to help with understanding the consultant who has a very strong accent.
My youngest daughter is still waiting for surgery for ovarian tumour which hopefully will be benign. She has had further mri testing this week ordered by surgeon. Hope that isn't a concern.
Older daughter still hasn't contacted me. I haven't sent her any further messages as her replies have been unpleasant and caused me further stress and upset which I cannot cope with in the midst of all that is going on.
On a positive note I have had a decorator in this week painting hall and stairwell. He's someone who has decorated before in my house and is retired with a great sense of humour. The colour I had chosen several months ago wasn't what I remembered but looks nice and has freshened up the place.
Hope you all have a peaceful day,maybe with umbrellas !

Good luck with your app today Jaffa good you are taking a friend with you.

Weather not good is it. Going to a yoga festival with a friend tomorrow, so really hope it's good weather as all outside!

Downward facing dog in the rain could be a challenge !!

@Jaffa
Good luck with appointment this afternoon.
Sending hugs 🤗

My thoughts are with you for this afternoon Jaffa I'm glad you've resisted the temptation to contact your D, you need to concentrate on you.

Today is our 44th wedding anniversary . It's hard to believe we've been married for so long, but when I think of all the wonderful things we've done, times we've had and what we've been through together, we couldn't have done it all if we hadn't been married so long.

Jaffa - hope all your appointments went well.💐

Smileless - congrats on your anniversary x🥂🥂

Happy 44th anniversary Smileless. We celebrated our 45th last year.
👍

Happy anniversary Smileless ! Hope you have fun celebrating.
My appointment went fairly well with the neurologist. He doesn't think it's ms but am waiting to see ms consultant at St georges. Today was my local hospital who looked after me when I was admitted in june. He did say I looked much better than when I was an in patient. My right leg is still weak and balance poor but now have full power and reflexes in my right arm.
He has ordered more brain and spine mri in 2 months time to compare.
He thought speech problems may be stress. Asked me if I was under stress. I didn't like to tell him all about family saga, so just said a little !
Did make me think about what my daughter has put me through over past 3 months and how it has affected my health.

@jaffa
Stress/anxiety can cause any manner of physical manifestations. You need a break from the daughter causing you to feel worse for your own well-being, concentrate on yourself and your other daughter, otherwise is a vicious circle.
All the best x

Stress can have a tremendously negative impact on physical health.

When my DH died, last year, I expected the mental stress - the physical impact took me totally by surprise. It’s still causing problems, although I have learned to distract, distract, distract. Anything to stop me thinking/brooding so much.🤷‍♀️

Obviously, my DH didn’t die to stress me out, and make me ill, it’s just what happens. But, I do wonder if some of these ACs ever stop to think of how badly they might be affecting their parents’s health, when they create this chaos.🙄

Try and just deal with your health, be honest with your doctors, and try to find the positives in life.

Best wishes. 💐

Jaffacake2

Downward facing dog in the rain could be a challenge !!

Happy anniversary Small

Sounds like your app went well Jaffa hope you are happy with results, just need to hear what the other specialist have to say.

Happy anniversary to Smiles as well

My estrangement really affected my health, for a long time, never went to the doctors before this, then suddenly having my heart checked, thought I had a brain tumor, cancer and on and on. All clear and down to stress of the estrangement!

Congratulations for your 45th last year Babs. To say or write how long it's been surprises me; how can it be that long!!!

I'm glad your appointment was OK Jaffa and I hope that knowing stress could be the cause of your speech issues will encourage you to continue stopping contact with your D, and tell your lovely friend in Ireland to stop passing on any information.

We had a lovely meal out last night and while holding hands in the restaurant reminisced about our honeymoon in surprising detail .

I'm easily pleased and was thrilled when we drove home to see the barrier at the entrance to where we are was down, as I was able to raise it for the first time since we moved in .

Thanks Yogin, DL and Babs. Mr. S. raised a glass to the next 44 years ; if only.

Sorry didn't read this thread yesterday..Smiles and Mr S congratulations for 44 years married. Sorry I missed it yesterday.
Babs 45th last year wonderful.

As I have said before my husband could be a bugger at times but always in a good way. On our 20th wedding anniversary we went to Paris for a long weekend. Over a romantic meal he said do you realise I would have gotten less for murder 😂.

I do often wonder what he would be like now . But in my heart he would be the same loving idiot I fell in love with ,just probably grumpier at times.

Jaffa so glad you didn't contact your daughter you have come a long way in a short time. Just need your friend in Ireland not to tell your daughter anything and block her.

You will get more answers once you have been to St George's but if they ask if you have been under any stress tell them . You have nothing to be ashamed off. You didn't do anything for your daughter to treat you this way.

Don't worry about your daughter having the MRI as it will show more if they have missed anything in other tests. I only had ultra sound scan when they found my ovarian cyst it did contained 2 ls of fluid if I had MRI they would have found the little ones covering my right ovary. Luckily everything was benign and I had already decided to have total hysterectomy. But back in 1996 they didn't do that then.

Glad you felt well enough to have your decorating down . That's a big positive . I always try and find a positive from a negative no matter how silly it may be .

Yogin have a lovely time at your yoga. Saying downward facing dog in the rain made me laugh. I remember many years ago on QI Stephen Fry asked the question what is the best way not to get hit by lightning. And it was striping naked head down your bum in the air. My mind is full of odd facts like that . Unfortunately I can't always remember where I put my glasses down . Things that are important. 🤦.

DiamondLily physical health can effect mental health and vise versa . And boy have you been through the mill before your husband died and since . How I coped with things and reacted to things all my life I thought it was because I was weird. Turns out I suffer from anxiety and especially travel anxiety. Only because of my HPX group did I find that out because I explained how things made me feel. I knew my health getting worse in 1988 and bringing up the children my husbands cancer and dieing plus looking after the oldies effected my physical health but looking back it effected my mental health. I took up cross stitch because looking after my mom I was stressed out and it gave me a sense of calm . But it's only after she died did I realised what all the things I have done cost me healthwise but I would do it all again . As you can't change who you are and we all have our own moral code we live by. I don't abandon people who needed me even if I hated them as I did my mother in law for 40 years.

I doubt my son has given me a second thought in the last 4 odd years if he had he might have contacted my brother to see how I was but then again he cut all ties with him and his cousins . I do wonder at times what he looks like now and he's bound to have got grey hairs as he had black hair and his dad's hair was salt and pepper when he died . Looking at my daughter's boys gives me a rough idea what my 3 grandson's would be doing but the 2 eldest looks are fixed at 4&2. And never even had a picture of their brother. But imagine he looks like them .

Had my new window fitted yesterday morning ,then my window cleaner came . Tuesday had my boiler serviced past with flying colours. My gardener will do the front while I am away and the back one I am back .

Just having a break then ironing and packing . Monday I booked my taxi from here and the one to pick me up in York . Had confirmation of my neurology appointment in November. Having problems with my left leg my foot decides to face inwards at times which pulls my hip other times I have to flick it forward to make it move . But it's not stopping me doing what I want. It's just annoying me.

Well rambled on as usual hope everyone else is ok . Take care all.

Haven’t been as active on the forums. A good friend died two days ago. We lived on the same street in Lancashire when my children and her children were small. Another good friend on the same street whom I went to school with rang to tell me. She was in last stages of pancreatic cancer.
When I first became estranged from our daughter it took years before I could discuss it with anyone and even then I only selected very dear friends I had known a long time. So eventually, aft a few years, I told my now departed friend about my estrangement and she came right back at me with the sad news that one of her daughters was also estranged from them.
Her DH who is 79 told me that the estranged daughter knew about my friends advanced cancer but didn’t even send a message to himself or her sister, he is not expecting to see her at the funeral and says that quite frankly he doesn’t want to.
So we will be travelling up for the funeral when we have a date.
Has made me realise that my estranged daughter probs won’t give a fig either, and am with my friends DH, I wouldn’t want her at my funeral, or the funeral of my DH.
Take care all xx

Correction - rang to tell me she was in the last stages of pancreatic cancer.

Babs I am sorry you have lost a good friend. But she was still looking out for you as it made you realised about your daughter doesn't care. My son will never know when I die as there is no need for him to know.

Whiff

Babs I am sorry you have lost a good friend. But she was still looking out for you as it made you realised about your daughter doesn't care. My son will never know when I die as there is no need for him to know.

Thanks Whiff I didn’t think about it like that but actually you’re right, her parting gift to me is priceless. 🥹

Babs glad I made sense. And helped you . 🌹