Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Breaking the cycle is a monumental task Philippa111 so you should be enormously proud of yourself for doing that and giving your own DC a happy and healthy environment to grow up in.

Hugshelp getting all sorts of medications is becoming increasingly difficult, I'm sorry that the delay is making you feel even worse right now. Hang on in there and know that we're still here, whenever you need a shoulder to lean on. Nothing has changed; those that matter are here.

Thanks for your supportive comments. They are much appreciated.

Once I started sharing about my traumas I began to come across other women who had had similar experiences to mine and we shared freely and got a lot of identification. Women both young and old. All of a sudden we were not alone and had a safe place to talk and someone who understood.

The actual trauma may have been different but the fallout that we were trying to deal with was pretty similar.

For years I never spoke about it and was very ashamed..as if I was the one who had done the damage!.... crazy I know but that is a very common response to abuse. I most certainly don't feel ashamed or less than now... quite the opposite!

The concept of trans-generational wounding came up in my therapy sessions and when I really understood that, it made it less personal somehow because I realised that there wasn't anything wrong with me but rather something wrong with the behaviours that had been learned by my mother. I realised that my grandmother had similar traits to my mother and no doubt that had come down from previous generations. My mother had, herself, suffered abuse. They were behaving in the ways they had been shown. It is patterns of behaviour that are passed down through the generations until one generation becomes aware. Luckily for my daughter that one was me.

I have to say I'm finding all the deliberate disruption to prove some kind of point really demoralising. I've tried engaging positively and I've tried ignoring things but none of those responses seem to be deemed acceptable to some people. It's probably my low energy contributing to how I feel right now and I will keep popping in for a read.

Bit down anyway. My pharmacist has tried for a month to get my meds with no joy. The doctor admits there is no alternative which will be as effective for me. They will try other things but it will mean negative lifestyle adjustments as I simply can no longer get the treatment that really helps. I will have to spend more time resting and with discomfort. Thanks Brexit.

I'll try and contribute more positively when I get my mojo back. Thinking of all he lovely people that have given me support. x

Oh those teenage years, I remember them well imaround and how it feels to be arguing with yourself.

Leave your DH to it and take some time out for yourself. Sounds as if you've earned it.

You've got some great memories there DSL and you've made me laugh so thanks for that.

Yep, it should be a good weekend DL and a pretty easy deal for me as Mr. S. will be doing the BBQ's. The thought of anyone becoming involved with someone like that makes my blood run cold so I hope he'll see sense and get rid before it's too late.

Summerlove, have fun at the wedding!

DSL, it sounds like such a fun relationship!

DL, like others, I hope he has come to his senses.

I have had a rough few days with the teens in my house, so my weekend will be spent trying to avoid them. [Smile] my DH comes home from out-of-town today, so he can run interference.

I love them but they are so much like me. It is like arguing, with myself. [Grin]

Maybe your GS is coming to tell you that he's come to his senses and has ditched the drama llama toxic girlfriend DiamondLily; I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. It makes you worry about them when they're involved with that type doesn't it.

DL. That sounds ominous, hope it's nothing nasty.

Summerlove.....fingers crossed for the weather for the wedding, have you treated yourself to a nice outfit.

Right time to get the tea on, then settle down and watch some cr*p on tv. ??. I am very naughty I don't set the table when it's just me. It's a tray in front of the Box. Currently timing it so I eat my dinner watching repeats of Downton Abbey. Lol

Smiles. Sounds like it's going to be a great party. I have been thinking about what to take to my sisters birthday bash, I'm thinking a bottle or 3 of Pims. ?

Her birthday is actually the same day as my husbands death, this time it's next Wednesday. Her party is on the following Saturday.

We often laugh and say he chose to die on her birthday on purpose, determined that he would go out with a bang so everyone would remember the day. ?.

They got on like a house on fire and were always having fun with each other. They shared the same devil may care attitude.

When he ended up in hospital, and lost the power of speech he was given a machine which had the same robotic metallic voice that Stephen Hawkins speech gadget had,

When she came to visit him in hospital he tapped out a message for her and then pressed play. The robot voice said "show us yer t*ts". She grabbed the machine and it spoke back. "Kiss my a**". We were all helpless with laughter and making so much noise the ward sister came to see what was going on.

The memories are coming fast and furious today......only happy ones though. I don't dwell on the worst days of his illness, only the good times.

me thinks they have more than just checking out the ten in mind Chewbacca.

How wonderful DSL to celebrate your friend ringing the bell in recognition of winning her battle against breast cancer. A Warrior Queen for sure.

Oh dear DL that doesn't sound good but maybe your GS's beginning to see sense; fingers crossed.

And you're welcome Summerlove. The issue isn't who posts on the support thread but what they post, and it's a sad day when a long time poster and supporter no longer feels safe, posting on a thread she's been a staunch supporter of for such a long time.

You never know, they may have got the forecast wrong as they often do and there'll be sunshine to celebrate the wedding.

Shopping done and put away which always poses a challenge as there's not loads of space. Thank goodness for the 40L plug in cool box which makes a great extra fridge.

Three bottles of sparkling wine all ready for the weekend so you can see it was needed for the most essential of supplies.

Chewbacca

I've got a Well Dressing in Derbyshire tomorrow Sparkly. DS and family are coming on Sunday because they've decided that my garden is the only possible place they can erect their 6 man tent, to check that's it's ok for their camping holiday in a couple of weeks. No idea why... Their garden is twice the size of mine!

I've got a friend who lives in Nottingham, and she posts wonderful pictures of the Well Dressings. They really do a spectacular job of them. So pretty.?

As for my weekend plans? A family wedding on DHs side that Im dreading attending. Its outside and meant to rain.

Yoginimeisje

Why would an estranging AC seek out a grandparents forum and then seek out an estrangement thread where grieving mothers of once beloved children are pouring their hearts out???
As things stand there can never be a thread for us now, no matter how many new ones are started.

I'm sorry you no longer feel safe here. Howerver, this isn't a thread just for estranged grandparents. Its a thread for all those touched by estrangement. Its meant to be for all of us.

People have been trying for years to have a separate AC thread, but they all get deleted due to different disagreements. Its come to pass that this can be the only support thread - so here we all are.

I was hoping for a quiet weekend, but just had a message from youngest grandson (22), that he wants to talk to us urgently over the weekend.

He's got himself a really flaky girlfriend who causes havoc wherever she goes.

So, I've told him he can come, but not to bring her, as I'm not having her endless dramas here.?

She's a total fruitcake. God knows what he sees in her.

However, he's being very cagey, sounds stressed out, and I'm not sure what news he wishes to give me and what he urgently wants to talk about...?

Hmmm.

I am treating my friend, to celebrate her "ringing the bell", after being given the all clear after a battle with breast cancer.

If ever there was just cause to celebrate DerbyshireLass, that's it.

Am SO pleased

Am do pleased a happy memory was evoked.. Will Shakespeare was very perceptive of human nature and all the trials and tribulations we experience.

A celebration indeed for your friend, enjoy.

Not this weekend. Just a quiet one.

But.....I have booked a table for lunch next Thursday at our favourite restaurant,

I am treating my friend, to celebrate her "ringing the bell", after being given the all clear after a battle with breast cancer.

Now that's a celebration. ?.

And the next Saturday it's my sisters 60th birthday so a family celebration.

Dotcom

DSL although your post earlier had a quote from Hamlet your post was more St Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V rallying the troupes and gave such a lift! ?you’re having a tough time this week.

Thanks for some wonderful posts this morning.
Dot?

Dot thanks.

You've just triggered a really happy memory for me,

I absolutely love the St Crispins day speech. My husband did too.

Have you ever noticed that in just about any adventure/war/sport film, films as diverse as Braveheart through to Armageddon via Startrek the hero "rallies the troops" with a version of the speech.

Whenever we watched a film like this my husband would pipe up "on this St Crispins day". It became a family joke, the boys would join in and even the grandparents if they were around would too. Even my mum, who wasn't English and didn't really get Shakespeare, joined in too. We would usually raise a glass and toast the screen. ??

I've got a Well Dressing in Derbyshire tomorrow Sparkly. DS and family are coming on Sunday because they've decided that my garden is the only possible place they can erect their 6 man tent, to check that's it's ok for their camping holiday in a couple of weeks. No idea why... Their garden is twice the size of mine!

DSL although your post earlier had a quote from Hamlet your post was more St Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V rallying the troupes and gave such a lift! ?you’re having a tough time this week.

Thanks for some wonderful posts this morning.
Dot?

Well done Sparkly, good to see you here. Well we're just about to go shopping and have some lunch out. Not overly thrilled about shopping but lunch will be good.

Don't worry Granniesunite it will.

Afternoon everyone, whew I found this thread.

Thank you Smileless your support is appreciated.

Anyone got any nice distracting things to do at the weekend?
(Distracting us from the possible hurt of estrangement).

I hope so too DSL and in the meantime we'll all make sure that is't here for them why they do.

Looks as if my afternoon on my egg chair might not be happening as it's clouded over and is a bit nippy. Off shopping now, lots to get to feed our guests over the weekend, oh and some alcohol too.