Grandson has failed his Degree

Talk about elitist, suggesting anything below a 2.1 no good for management training schemes. There’s more to life after university than management training
Let’s hope the OPs grandson follows his curiosity rather than feeling huge pressure to achieve - whatever achieve May mean

I know, Iam. I have seen generations of students graduate and go on to careers all over the world. The ones with 'good' degrees might snap up the traditional routes such as Management Schemes/Civil Service fast track, but give it five years and their fortunes often have nothing to do with their class of degree. One of them is currently being managed by another, several rungs up. The manager wasn't a spectacular student but the one he's managing got a first.

Of course Iam 64 - lots of different ways to your own form of success. I'd be the first one to say so.

But if a student wants to get to any post grad training scheme that will lead to top echelons of any profession, a 2.1 is the minimum required, and often, a First.

Doodledog, 'A degree is so much more than the paper it is written on, and after the first job, nobody cares what class of degree someone gets anyway.'

totally- but a fail of 3rd makes it much more difficult to get that first job. Your application will just go in the bin, for so so many jobs.

Your comments must be cheering the OP fleur

A third is NOT a fail. It is an honours degree. A pass degree is not a fail either.

Good grief.

It seems your daughter is getting a lot of flack for being unsupportive of your DGS. We have no idea what their relationship was or how well he applied himself to his studies. Maybe she is at wits end after being very supportive and now feels let down. Maybe she sees her sons failure as hers also and unable to brag to friends and associates as she was expecting. It is unfair to assume and speculate on what we dont know.

But yes it's a very difficult time for you all. I hope this all settles soon and your DGS will find the right path for himself. Enjoy your time away with your family

Thank you all - this is why I love GNetters, honest opinions. All your replies have made me feel better. Btw, for all intents and purposes my daughter is a single parent. She is divorced from their father, who thinks that taking them (they have an 18 year old daughter as well). on holiday once a year, is sufficient parental contribution. The less said about him, the better.
Fortunately, his parents are the most wonderful grandparents, but do a lot of travelling. Being divorced, I have more time on my hands and probably a bit more ‘easy come easy go’. Thanks again xx

This is one hurdle an adult will phase - many more to come

No need to exaggerate and baby an adult

Fortunately, my daughter has a good job and is able to manage

Doodledog said Assuming that he has passed his second year, he will be entitled to a DipHE (Diploma in Higher Education), which is equivalent to an HND, and should be able to graduate with those letters after his name, and attend the ceremony with his peers.

I think the above is what I mentioned in my earlier post. Hopefully the lad will come out of his student years with something.

sodapop

That's a really helpful comment MayBee70

Your grandson must be grateful for your support crazyH seems the rest of his family are not sympathetic. Give him a bit of space now then regroup, lots of helpful advice on here. Seems like the end of the world but it really isn't.

Many years ago we had an American man stay with us. I think he must have been working with my husband for a while. When he told me how much he had spent to obtain a degree I was shocked because my generation had been able to go to University and leave it debt free. So I’ve never really got my head round the fact that young people start their adult life with so much debt. And it must make it very hard for students that want to change to another course or realise that University isn’t for them but still have that debt. Even if you don’t have to start paying it back until you earn a certain amount it’s still something that you owe. Then the government changed the interest rate without it getting much (if any) publicity. We paid the tuition fees for our two and supported them through university. It all costs so much more now and it saddens me.

Doodledog

A third is NOT a fail. It is an honours degree. A pass degree is not a fail either.

Good grief.

I agree!
A Third used to be what was referred to as a “Gentleman’s Degree”
It is not a Fail, but still an Honours degree,

Fleurpepper

Of course Iam 64 - lots of different ways to your own form of success. I'd be the first one to say so.

But if a student wants to get to any post grad training scheme that will lead to top echelons of any profession, a 2.1 is the minimum required, and often, a First.

Nope Not necessarily true.
DH qualified as a Chartered Accountant after gaining his “Gentleman’s Degree” with a top City firm of accountants, passing all his exams at the first attempt.

SueDonim

Doodledog said Assuming that he has passed his second year, he will be entitled to a DipHE (Diploma in Higher Education), which is equivalent to an HND, and should be able to graduate with those letters after his name, and attend the ceremony with his peers.

I think the above is what I mentioned in my earlier post. Hopefully the lad will come out of his student years with something.

Sorry if I repeated you. I would have sworn that I posted that a couple of days ago but maybe I was dreaming.

My nephew failed his 2nd year at uni and his friend contacted DB to say she was worried about his mental health. His parents spoke to uni and GP and he took a year out, got a job and saved some money and redid his 2nd year. He has just finished that and will go into 3rd year after summer. DB had to speak to uni and he has had some help. He has dyspraxia and parents have paid a bit more time encouraging him.

Cheer up. It's not the end of the world!

One of my boys dropped out of uni with just 2 terms to go. We tried to persuade him to finish, to get that piece of paper, but he was adamant that he was wasting his time.
He wanted a career in filmmaking and found a place on a practical short course which suited him much better. Through that he made contacts, was able to help other film makers and learned the trade. Now, years later he's a successful producer, doing what he loves and the lack of a university degree has not held him back.
His sister also dropped out of her degree course, changed direction completely and graduated later at another university in something else.

I am not surprised that he is upset! His parents have jettisoned him onto you as they are so disappointed in him - how must that make him feel?!

All is not lost. You first need to look at the positives:
- he has coped at university for 3 years and will have gained a great deal of knowledge about managing by himself, and relating to others.
- he has had a setback and now has a real learning opportunity to face this and deal with it.

You need to tell him all the things that are good about him - that he is sensitive/kind/thoughtful - or whatever applies to him.

And you need to help him with the next step. Encourage him to look at what his options are: can he talk with the uni about what the possibilities there might be? Can he look up other ways forward (apprenticeships, traineeships etc.)?

Above all else he needs to know that you have faith in him and that you love him just as he is.

TBH I am quite shocked by what his parents have done: He is staying for a few days with me, because his Mum (my daughter) is quite annoyed. That is truly shocking. They should be smothering him in love and support and help to move forward. I am sure that you will fulfil that role well; but it is hugely disappointing that his own parents have ducked out of this.

I know my DDs would have had our support and backing in every possible way if they had found themselves in that situation.

You didn’t repeat my post, Doodledog, I just couldn’t remember what the name of the qualification was!

Doodledog You did post before, I distinctly remember reading it. It was quite lengthy, I can’t remember it all but you said that even if someone did only one year of a degree course, they’d get a Certificate. Ditto for two years. It’s very odd that your original post has disappeared.

Thanks, gdh. I was beginning to think I was going mad.

This thread started today

CrazyH I am sorry your family finds itself in this situation. It looks very much as though my nephew will fail his degree despite being given many extensions. He has ADHD and my sister worries about his future. His a lovely chap and determined to get on so we will have to see. My GS dropped out in the first term at university last year after an emotional breakdown and we worried like mad for him but is now working for a record company and is very happy. I do hope your grandson can be allowed to resit if he wants and that his Mum welcomes him back home soon.

CrazyH - I was instantly angry when I read:

' his Mum (my daughter) is quite annoyed'

so I'd be pretty annoyed with her. She should be accepting and supporting her son (and whatever he decides to do) not piling on the blame and disappointment.

The brightest, most capable, creative and caring chap in my group suddenly dropped out and took a year off - due to unbearable stress. His family were kind and supportive, yet still, he had unreasonably high expectations of himself, so just made himself ill.

It is not the end of the world. He should be able to do resits or even repeat the last year. If it was his dissertation, he can be given time to rewrite it.

My mother died suddenly one week into the three months I had to write an MA dissertation. I had lost another close relatively a few months previously and my mind ceased to function and even with an extension I struggled, but the university had a system that I submitted the incomplete dissertation and was then told to revise it and I finally got my act together, wrote a dissertation that has been cited a number of times and ot my degree.

I know a lot of people who have failed degrees at the first attempt, sorted the problem out and gone on to resit exams, redo modules or years and get there in the end .

Nothing venture, nothing win. Give him support and love and tell him that he is not the first to fail a degree at first attempt and will not be the first to succeed in the end and do well.