A culture of silliness about breastfeeding

And re the blog story, the HT was being provocative! If she'd carried on as if nothing were amiss, the children would have too. Sounds as if the children did anyway. Silly woman to draw attention to something that could have been ignored.

No doubt she's regretting it now!

I hope so. The woman was doing nothing wrong so why make a fuss? That's all the story is about really.

It's difficult to believe that this is still an issue for some people after all these years. My mama would rather have walked barefoot than be seen breast-feeding in front of anyone, including, probably, my father. I, on the other hand, had absolutely no problem about it, although I was always fairly discreet. (Well, I say that, but I was like a garden sprinkler for about a year, so discretion was relative.) However, I had friends who felt uncomfortable breast-feeding in public or being with another mother doing so. By the time absentdaughter's turn came along, she and her contemporaries were completely relaxed about it. What ever is the matter with people? Is it our very sexually oriented society so that even people who should know better, such as a headmistress, automatically associate breasts primarily with sexuality rather than nutrition.

DD had problems with breast feeding both DGS's she fed them totally expressed milk. I admired the fact she would happily carry on a conversation with her dad whilst doing so ! Don't think I could have in front of my dad.

in case any of you missed this last week, worth 5 minutes:
www.closeronline.co.uk/2013/07/british-mum-silences-breastfeeding-critics-with-passionate-poem

Very good.

Brilliant poem - thanks Jess.
Sums it all up very well. Dd in China has a 'cover-up' which she uses when in public not because she is embarrassed but because the Chinese are very curious and do rather invade personal space !

Just remembered there was a little lad with learning difficulties who used to call round to our house daily (he loved dogs and our dog and was allowed to roam the streets! He could tell me the name of nearly all the dog breeds in the Observer's book of dogs, normally when he visited he only focussed on our dog). One day he suddenly noticing me feeding DS2. Imagine a broad Lancashire accent if you would...
"Eeeee - what's 'e doing to you?"

My grandmother used to tell me about the time she had to take my mother on a train. She was in a compartment with a strange gentleman and, of course, pretty soon my mother was hungry. She managed to swathe herself in a scarf and hide the baby under it. When she had finished the gentleman leant forward and said "That was very beautifully done my dear" This was in 1918 and if a man could manage not to have the vapours then why are we still having problems now?

I know this is odd but though I have no problem with people breast feeding babies in public ( did it myself and always managed it discreetly) I do feel uncomfortable seeing older toddlers still being fed. Feeling so sorry for friend's daughter whose new baby struggling to breastfeed. Poor girl has been told to express but under no circumstances to use a bottle and she must try and get baby to lap the milk somehow! She is exhausted.The baby police have a lot to answer for!

Certainly worth 5 mins. Jess. Good for Hollie McNish.

I love your 'baby police' comment seasider. I fed my children in all kinds of places, no one ever made an unpleasant comment. I always smile when I see babes being breast fed in cafe's, parks etc. BF on demand is perfect for babies but after reading seasider's comment about toddlers, I've realised that my attitude to bf toddlers is similar to giving them anything else on demand. If they can run about, and make their wishes known, they can begin the life long learning about delayed gratification. (as they say on mumsnet - dons tin hat, and hides behind barricades)

I always remember the 3 year old girl who said "Mummy, is it a good time for me and you to have a little lie down"

My friend's little girl would say: "Thank you, mother sheep" when she'd had her drop of milk . I very much doubt if her polite 'demands' for milk were a problem in public.

I remember when GS1 was nearly two asking for milk (using sign language as well as his approximation to the word milk) and DD saying: you don't need milk now, but I'll give you a cuddle. He had stopped asking by the time he was just two.

Made me smile, jessm and bags, great examples of delayed gratification. What polite and much loved children they sound.

When DS2 was born he had to go into SCBU and I was sent home. I expressed my milk so that I would still have some for him when they let him come home. One day I explained the situation to DS1, then only 21 months, likening my milk to cow's milk and telling him where that came from. He pottered off and obviously thought about it because he came back a bit later, put his head round the door, looked at me and said, 'Cow?'

Iam64 you have summed up my views perfectly. If toddlers who are articulate cannot learn to wait for some quiet time with mum then they won't be able to wait for anything else. Of course babies should be fed when they are hungry.

I don't understand the fuss made about breast feeding. It's hard to imagine why anyone would object to seeing a small child being given sustenance and nourishment by its mother! And if mother and child are happy to continue for an extended period, good on them, I say!

Breast feeding advice can seem dictatorial, but research as shown that if a mother wants to successfully breast feed, then it's better if no artificial feed or teat is introduced. No one forces anyone to do it!

As for guilt - well if it's not breast feeding, we'll soon find something else to feel guilty about!

Well said, hummingbird. Some of the happiest moments in my life were breastfeeding a contented infant who sometimes stopped for a moment to smile at me and then resumed enthusiastic feeding.

There is no doubt that breast is best - but it does not work for everyone for a variety of reasons.

My first would not suck properly so had to be fed from a spoon! - and thence to the bottle as milk dried up in the meantime. The next two guzzled away merrily at the breast till they were one.

Some people choose not to breast feed for other reasons - personally I would wish to feel that I was doing the absolute best for baby, but each parent has to make their own choice for their lifestyle without others judging them.

I happily breastfed in public - discreetly of course; and my latest 9 month old GD is breastfed and so far I have not glimpsed a nipple! My DD wears suitable clothes and just tucks the wee babe up her jumper. Those who flash their boobs about obviously do so for some other reason - I couldn't care less, but think that it makes sense to consider that others might not feel the same and do it discreetly.

On the subject of noisy children and babies in performances, I have to say this makes me very angry. When I think about all the wonderful concerts we missed as we knew that taking the children would disturb others, it makes me mad when others do not show the same consideration now! There is always the option of getting a babysitter - or just having the grace to miss stuff for those few years when the children are little.

Aw, Anno, you've just reminded me of by that really special moment when your baby's eyes lock on to yours mid-feed, and a little smile appears, just for you! Made me all nostalgic!

My DiL having been sent home early because all the maternity wards between Slough and Basingstoke are apparently full is worrying about breastfeeding as she wasn't expecting the baby to require feeding constantly. My daughter has gone to help but is trying to be very tactful and not turn into a breastfeeding Nazi. It's obviously more difficult for the poor girl because she's recovering form a C section, but in the end, if they can find a way that suits them and the baby is happy, what does it matter?

Sorry to hear your daughter has been sent home early Deedaa when she obviously needs some help with breastfeeding. This is not good enough. With a rising birthrate the NHS needs to address this problem of the shortage of beds in maternity units just as the educational authorities are doing in building new primary schools.

I feel I was so lucky in being able to stay in hospital for a week after each of my babies was born. During that time I was able to re-gain my strength and got invaluable help from the nursing staff re breastfeeding especially during the night when there was plenty of time to get it right.

Wondering what breastfeeding constantly means. Sounds like the inside track to sore nipples to me. I remember a friend of mine in maternity ward with 2 day old - sore nipples already. They'd showed her how to get the baby latched on but not how to get baby latched off (the finger in the corner of the mouth trick) and she was letting her suck for ages and then pulling her off. I suppose long gone are the days when a qualified midwife actually sat by your bed and helped you get the knack.