Suitable action to help a child's memory.

Mishap has said what I would say Bags. Just have a word and don't punish, unless she starts doing it wholesale just to wind you up.

I think she was just being careless and thoughtless, mishap. Most of the time that doesn't matter but this does. No good drawing boundaries and making rules about unacceptable behaviour if you can't be bothered to enforce them, is there?

Golly, no tea-cakes for 9 days - You are cross, B.

[hug] from me, too!

Wells Bags, she knows that you "will not stand" it, so she has chosen her weapon with care! (My children knew that I hated food to be wasted - so they had a ready made battle ground when they wanted one).

Here is my rule - save your fire for the big things (taking drugs, mugging old ladies etc.) and let most of the rest pass you by.

How many little rebellions? - no real answer to that - but it is a lot!!

Rule no.1. - stay friends!

This could just one a one-off - for all you know this friend holds all the cards as far as cool is concerned and it is important to your DD not to lose face.

If she continues to do it regularly then some firm words are called for, but let the poor girl have her teacakes - served with lots of love!!

She needs to know that you understand where she might be coming from - you can't spell that out to her, but you can avoid over-reacting. It really is the law of the jungle out there sometimes between little girls (I had 3!) and they need to have you onside.

thanks, soop.

Besides, it was just sloppiness. If she'd taken the juice carton to the bin as soon as she'd finished it, as she should......

I wouldn't even mind them putting the stuff just inside the wash-house on top of the freezer.

Left on the ground? NEVER!

Bags ((hugs)) for both you and the little lassie

soop, she was like that at that age.

I like butty's ideas . Trouble is, I'm pathologically incapable of deliberately dropping litter anywhere, so the droppng in her space thing would be very hard. If I started pinning bits of litter around in her room, she'd probably join in and turn it into an art work

I see what you're saying, annobel and mishap, but how many little rebellions do you put up with until you put your foot down? and as far as litter oversights are concerned, they're simply not allowed! I'm very relaxed about tidiness at home (ask soop) but litter in a natural and outdoor environment is something I will not stand from members of my family (DH feels the same). Good grief, she's a scout! She should never forget!

So I'm going to be tough and ban teacakes after school for the rest of the month . If she hates me for that as much as I hate litter dropping, the message will stick.

But she won't because she knows what I'm like and deep down in her soul, she agrees.

Bags I could introduce DD to our wee man. He INSISTS on clearing any litter from pavements and parks...and makes a huge theatrical gesture of taking it to the nearest bin...in the absence of which, he tucks said litter into the pushcahair tray

Aw, Bags, if this is a one-off, don't over-react. It might be a small act of rebellion or an oversight. You are obviously good friends, so just hold a conversation with her on the subject of litter and ask what appropriate penalty she would exact if she were the mum. You might agree a 'fine' or some extra task around the house or garden.

1. Drop any of your litter in her space

2. Tie up her litter with string and pin to ceiling/door/wall/floor in her space - continue to do so until it's unacceptable to her

Still - knowing how single-minded DD3 can be this might be counter-productive

Whatever you come up with to re-enforce her memory - Good luck!

I think the message is "Don't remind me of babyish things that I already know in front to my mates, 'cos they might think I'm not a cool dude!" What a minefield it is!! - they are like teenagers very early now!
I would ignore it - treat it like a toddler temper tantrum.

Good idea, gillybob, but it has been deposited in the wheelie bin already. IF it happens again, I'll stake the litter down with a stick and do what you suggest.

I have actually thought of a suitable punishment, which I'll tell you all anon, but I wanted to hear what other people's approaches would be. Gransnet is good for that

I expect it was the forgetteries in actions, nag. Minds on more important things (aye, right!), but I stil won't stand for it.

Hello Bags I would guess that there is nothing at all wrong with DD's memory at all I think perhaps she was pushing the boundaries and offering up a small protest.

I would be tempted to leave them there (or at least put them back for her to find) and remind her that the litter she left is still waiting for her to pick it up.

Hmm...sounds like a bit of peer pressure coming into play here! Of course I don't know your DD, but around that age I know my own DD (who had also been brought up never to drop litter!) began caring more about what her friends thought than what I said.

Of course, they may have meant to put their rubbish in the bin, but just forgot! That's another thing they start doing....