The Lockdown Gang still chatting

Kaimoana the chair seems to be helping. It fits him quite well and supports his back and if he falls asleep in it I can press the ejector button and throw him out to do the washing up 🤣
Nice for Ray to have his family with him for a while. Have you met his DGD. I wonder what Gubbins would think to know you have another little girl living over the road.
I’m sure you’ll be a favourite visitor if you take some baking with you.
Awful about the shooting. Is it close to you? As you say, poor families.
Grammaretto us Leo’s rule the world. 😊 So pleased you enjoyed your time in Skye. What a lovely mix of people.
Those pictures are lovely. What a scenic journey you had.
Sorry it took you so long to get home though.
Back in your own bed tonight. 😊
DH is in the study (spare bedroom) trying to order his medicines on line. I fear all is not going well #!# 😡

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Hello Lobstars,

I have been following but not written much recently.

Spud is determined to be a Leo like me!
All the best for a safe delivery.xxx

Awful shootings in Auckland. So sad.

My week on Skye was so lovely. I'm determined to go back next year even if it means learning Gaelic for another year. hard work

On our level class alone there were 11 of us - 8 nationalities! 2 Australian students, an American, 1 German, 1 Italian, 1 Swiss, a couple of English and Scots and me!

The journey home was eventful too. A very crowded train full of tourists on their Harry Potter experience. I can see why they love it. It has to be one of the greatest rail journeys in the world.
My df DH was to meet us on the route and drive us home which he did but a bad crash on the only road A85 meant a long detour, then another road closure, another detour . It was dark when we arrived home.
This country isn't working too well is it.

Well done Kaimoana on your slipper knitting! Do you think Ray's moko and Gubbins will play together?

How serindipitous that 3 Lobstars were in Norfolk together. I hope your barbeque goes well Nfk and your lovely friends and family help you through the hard times.

Here are the Glenfinnan viaduct, Mallaig harbour and a view of Schiehallion, the pointy mountain, from my train.

Missedout! How nice to see you again. Hope all is well with you?

How's your DH's back Doodle Is the chair helping? What about a portable massager? No, not one of those cheeky girls who advertise or a hot water bottle?

Ray, my friend across the road visited today. His daughter and her 3 year old have moved in, needing time out from her partner.
His moko is the love of his life (just as Gubbins is to me) so he's happy with that.

I did a little baking: savoury muffins and a batch of flapjacks, so I'll take some over. The rest will go to Karen and family.

Mepa saw the Marae Slippers and ordered 2 pairs, so that’s my evening sorted
You probably heard about the tragic shooting in Auckland? I heard the ambulances and police speeding past early, so knew something awful had happened. The poor families.

Weather was good today. It did rain but there was enough wind and bursts of sunshine for me to get a few things dry.

Surely Spud is here by now?

Kaimoana a nice thoughtful post. I bet quite a few have interviewed 😊. You would be a catch.
Hello ixion hope you’re doing ok.
Nfk after so many years together I’m not surprised you are still talking to your husband in your quiet moments. I have a feeling I would talk to mine too.
I’m sorry your DD has a problem with your plans and hope she comes round. You are the one whose feelings should be considered now and I’m sure such a gathering would be nice for all those who have been supportive. Do you have a big garden? Must be nice to have somewhere to sit quietly with your thoughts.
Missedout lovely to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your tent. Must have been quite windy.
Jan yes fancy you all being there at the same time. Shame the weather couldn’t have been better for you all.

Missedout well that was three Lobstars in the same area of Norfolk during the week! Not good about your tent - it was a bit windy at times wasn’t it and a bit damp! Hope you had a good time before the tent disaster!

I may not post these days but I have been following the Lobstars' journeys, nevertheless.

Others on here have been so wise and supportive. I hope Nfk can take some comfort from them, I am sorry to read of her loss.

I was camping in Norfolk last weekend and thought of NfkDumpling, I know we were not far away.

Our tent was flattened by strong winds and DH and I washed up at a B&B!

Best wishes to all.

Thank you all for your support. Yesterday, after The Event, a cup of coffee and a talking to (myself mainly), I cleared and tidied the car port which is more of an outside dining area now as it was really built as a winter storage boat port. The woodshed bit is sorted and the heap of stuff for the tip which never got there, was picked up by some nice blokes who've spotted a gap in the market. They clear anything at all and take it either to the local tip or to a recycling firm. They even sweep up! A lazy person's skip hire! Then after a light lunch I gardened. All the time talking to DH and discussing what I was doing. Albeit a rather one sided discussion. I felt much better.

I need to get the place sorted a bit. I've decided to have a Bit of a Do in a couple of weeks. A bbq. I feel the need to get together with everyone who has supported us over the last couple of years. A sort of rounding off and big thank you for all the support we've had over the last couple of years. DD2 has a problem with this as DH didn't want a wake or any celebration of his life, but this is for me and them. Just a coming together. I'm hoping she gets it before the event.

Thank you so much for your advice Kaimoana. My way! (He joined me in my dreams last night. It was nice.)
Onwards and upwards. Now off out to tackle a bit more of the jungle.

Just joining the little band to say that I have been thinking of NfK all day.
I send you love and best wishes as you navigate this new territory and hope that you will find strength and support here on in.
🕯️

Although my experience is very different to yours Nfk I can offer just a few small pieces of advice.

Mourning is a very personal thing. How you deal with it and how long it takes is your choice. No one else's.

Don't let anyone persuade you (or even suggest) that time is up now, or the way you mourn should be different.

I was comparatively young when my DH died but countless people told me, within days or weeks, that I should be considering another partner.
"Don't worry, there's someone else out there for you." one acquaintance said and was shocked when I replied,
"Good grief, I hope not."
That was no reflection on my DH but my decision that the boys would be my sole focus from then on.

At night I sometimes listened to interesting audio books and allowed myself to weep or not to sleep if I felt like it. I knew my tendency to worry whether I’d done my best was all part of the mourning process. Eventually I saw I had.
I also did a few relaxation exercises and talked to my DH, remembering the good times (despite his long illness, there had been a few) .
And I dreamed of him often if the first year.

As with Grammaretto I have often known I am not alone.

And there never has been 'someone else' – thank goodness!
Though quite a few have interviewed for the position over the years.


So do it all your way dear Nfk

Grammaretto that’s a lovely thought. I’d like to feel the same, that DH and I would always be together.
Have you learnt any more Gaelic? How has the trip been?
Cherry how have you been today?
Nfk I’ve been thinking of you too. Hope you had a peaceful morning in your garden and like Cherry I hope you have friends and family around you to help you x

I hope sitting quietly in your garden helped you this morning before your DH's cremation Nfk. I hope too that love and support from close friends and family, has helped you through today X

Dear NfkD I hope the cremation was bearable for you and that you were able to sit in your arbour.
It will all be strange travelling on this new path by yourself. DH told me that he'd always be with me which I take comfort from.
I don't feel alone so I hope you don't either.
Thinking of you xxx

Nfk another difficult day for you. A quiet sit in the garden with your own thoughts and memories is probably the best thing although I can understand the desire to be in the car park too.
Don’t know the words to help really as I think unless you have been through this loss yourself you can’t imagine how lonely it must feel to be without your partner in life.
Thinking of you x

Will be thinking of you on this lovely sunny day Nfk. DH and I have both decided the way your DH has choosen is the best no fuss way. x
Charlie is waiting for breakfast!!

Good morning All

I hope the lovely sunny morning is helping lift your spirits this morning Jan. And that your knee is feeling better too. When one bit of your body is upset, other bits get upset too and it's very misery making.

Thank you for what you said, It makes me feel more normal. I'm rather emotionally all over the place this morning as DH is being cremated at nine o'clock. I did think to go and sit in the crem car park and see him in, but although I know the time, I don't know when he'll get there. He may already be inside. So, I shall do as the undertaker suggested and sit in the arbour in our garden for a while and be still.

(Oh, and I think I've met Charlie at the Ferry Boat - but I suspect he has family!)

Thank you Cherry . It was a good gathering. He was a rugby fan so some of his rugby pals at the funeral too (although in their late 80s and 90s they don’t play now) As the sun was out we sat outside in the pub garden after the funeral under big sun umbrellas. It was a lovely setting and very relaxed. My cousin was dashing round trying to make sure people had food and drink . In the end I managed to get het to sit with me and we had a chat with some of her friends she’s known since school days,
Kaimoana you still miss Phil don’t you. Must be nice for his mum to have someone to talk to about him.
Your swim sounds lovely. I know how much you love swimming so can imagine how you enjoyed it.
You’ve got a busy week this week. Hope the lunch was nice.
Not surprised you have more orders for your slippers. They looked lovely.
NFK there’s always a hug here when you need one.
Life must seem very strange for you. Adapting to being on your own at night I imagine is very difficult and unsettling. A dog would be a good companion. I Hope they find a suitable one for you soon. Our sons both have dogs and we always get a lovely welcome from them when we go round. As Jan says, a good excuse to go for a walk and before long you’ll get to know the other dog walkers too.
It sounds as though you know quite a lot of people from your area. Have you lived there long?
Jan I’m so sorry about your knee. I wonder if you twisted it a bit. Sorry it’s so painful. Hope it get better soon.
Glad you had a nice meal first though. I had a nice meal before I fell and broke my wrist, at least it sustained me for all the hours in A&E .
Glad to see Charlie is still around. Is he still coming for breakfast? Hope the weather perks up a bit.
Grammaretto I’m wondering how things are going and whether you’re home yet or not. I can’t remember how long you were going for.

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Morning Nfk and All. No the weather could be more cheerful but matches my mood! Went for a meal the night before last walked or hobbled into restaurant ate a lovely meal and went to get up but could hardly move my affected leg as my knee was so painful. No idea what’s happened but it still b….y hurts.
Know exactly how you feel at nighttime Nfk. Horrible isn’t it? The house seemed so big and empty. Think getting a dog is a good idea. We had 2 when my husband died and a dog gives you a reason to get up in the morning, it’s someone to talk to and keep going for.
A friend said to me after DH1 died that she knew how I felt as she spent a lot of time on her own as her husband worked such long hours. Mmmmmm. Oh know you don’t because how ever much time your husband spends at work you know he will eventually come home. Unfortunately mine won’t.
Think I’d better shut up now - I’m running on!!
Nfk bet you don’t get one of these on your bird table! Meet Charlie!

Thank you all so much for your support and virtual hugs. It means a lot and helps so much. Cards are still popping through my door here as word gets around and I'm really touched by the response from everyone we know. I am getting more used to being on my own during the day, but going to bed is a problem. The house is so still, empty and even with a night light and street light outside, it's dark. Early days though, early days. I tried for a dog from a local rescue place, but someone else beat me to him. But they're keeping me 'on record' for when another older, gregarious dog comes along.

I think I'll follow your example Kaimoana, a swim sounds just the job. Although it'll be in an indoor pool. I shall just have to imagine the sunshine. If I go this week the pool won't be full of children zooming unpredictably in all directions! I need to get physical! It'll help me sleep!

It's very dull here today and a bit soggy. Not very inspiring for Jans excursion on the Broads, but at least the wind has dropped. Hopefully, it'll brighten.

(I feed the birds in our garden and have a larger unroofed bird table which the Corvids can land on. It's been there for at least ten years and visited by jackdaws, magpies, rooks and more jackdaws. A couple of months ago a crow started coming. first thing every morning. Then two together. Beautiful birds and quite bold. They watched us. I'd not seen a crow before and had just assumed they didn't come into town. Last week I realised they'd stopped coming.
Not seen one now since my DH died. Were they harbingers or just an interesting coincidence?)

It seems we are surrounded by sadness at the moment. Had a very sweet letter from Phil's Mum. We've been corresponding since he died a year ago and she sounds such a lovely lady. She was saying how hard it is to believe she'd never see him again. Me too.

I hope you will not think me unfeeling if I tell you about my perfect day yesterday.

We were supposed to go to Palm Springs but they were closed. I was happy about that because I really, really wanted to swim. and Palm Spring pool is too hot for that.

Opposite is Parakai Springs and if you look at this Gallery of photos, you will see the pools.
www.parakaisprings.co.nz/Gallery/

We arrived at 11am and I went straight into the water and whilst everyone else was happt to stand about in the very hot, indoor pool (40 degrees) chatting, I was swimming steadily up and down in the sunshine in 32 degree water. Bliss, absolute bliss.

I had a very short break for a sushi lunch and to rehydrate with a bottle of water, then went back and did it all again until I was called to get out at 1:45 as we were going home. Too soon!

The weather was perfect after weeks of almost daily rain (as BJ indicated) so this was a wee miracle in itself. Everything came together to make a perfect day.

Today, amazingly, no aches and pains at all, just a grand feeling of wellbeing. The first good swim since Covid began. After that, my eyes had deteriorated so much, I simply would not be safe at our local pool unaccompanied; if I tripped and fell, it could be serious.

Today I am out at the Blind support group lunch.
Thursday is both the Sallies lunch and our monthly kaumatua meeting so I shall go to the latter as I believe subs are due.

Friday, despite being told I must wait 2 weeks for a doctor's appointment, it was then fast-tracked. Not sure what she can do but I'll go anyway.

I am looking forward to a weekend of knitting as I have yet more orders for Marae Slippers.

Love to everyone and many a good Welsh cwtch to comfort - like Cherry says, I wish they were not just virtual ones.

PS: Good to see you posting Pittcity even if for such a sad reason.

Sorry to hear about your cousin's husband Doodle, I hope his funeral is the good^send off^ he deserves 💐

Been thinking a lot about NFK today. Kiamoana I loved what you said about our little family here,
Going to my cousin’s husbands funeral tomorrow. Early start for us.
Had long chat with DS2 this morning. He’s got sore throat probably due to too much talking, been away with friends for the weekend.
DH’s back is still bad. Hope he’ll be ok tomorrow as he’ll need to drive.
Grammaretto when are you due back home?

Dear Nfk I add my thoughts and prayers to those of our little family here.
Much love xxx

Nfk - I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Sending arohanui from the South - love, thoughts and prayers, x

Words are not easy to use Nfk, I'm so very sorry that your DH has lost his battle and you are now a widow. I'm sending you a gentle heartfelt cwtch, I only wish it was for real 🌹 Xx

Boadicea you sound as though you’ve had a really bad time with Covid. Please try not to overdo things. That heart rate is very low. Shame you won’t be able to meet up for your DDs birthday. At least your family history is proving interesting.
Jan hope you are coping ok although it sounds as though you are having problems.
Grammaretto hope you are enjoying your time with the Gaelic speakers.
Kaimoana chair in place. Remains to be seen if it’s of benefit but at least it can help him up if he needs it.
Take care all and you too Cherry xx