Are you currently locked down in a house with someone who is taking up their space and yours? Spaces that you've cleaned again and again, until your knuckles bleed, because they can't get with the program and wash their hands? If so, I'm happy to tell you that you can wage your own war with a handful of items from your local grocery store-
Get yourself bunches of broccoli and cook it and eat it 7 days a week- You'll have an arsenal of gas by day 3 and plenty of fart ammo- Then strategically set out hidden stink bombs made from grated onion, garlic and limburger cheese in the rooms you don't want the enemy to conquer with their dang dirty hands-
Lastly, slip a clothes peg over your nose, kick up your feet and watch tv or read books until your knuckles heal up .. 
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Great idea but there hasn't been any broc in the shops for days now. I'm told you can buy a cauliflower for $7 if you are desperate but then I've never been that desperate for a Brassica.
As for cheese - mousetrap is what I buy but that's not available either. The mice are very upset.
Onions I have and minced garlic - fortunately, as I am totally alone (but for the disappointed mice) I can eat as much as I like and not exterminate anyone with the resulting wind from either end.
It's been many a long year since I could kick up anything other than a fuss and I've never owned a TV.
The library suspended all borrowing 8 days ago so no books either. 
Were I locked down with the sort of person you mention, I'd very quickly be grinding soporifics into their Muesli and putting locks on all the doors to keep them away from me.
Otherwise I fear the Constabulary and I would be having Very Serious Words.
I'd like to bet that the very people who have cleared the shelves of broccoli are the ones who formerly wouldn't eat it even if Gran stood over them with a big stick 
As soon as I’ve wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, I’m off to properly start my day. Keep making us laugh, please, look after the knuckles and the mice and KEEP SAFE 
Apart from the Limburger cheese (never heard of it!) it sounds like our normal diet.
No wonder no-one is visiting us at the moment, it's not the lockdown at all
rosecarmel I think you're onto something there, but for quite another reason.
Early warning Covid19 system!
Anyone who can tolerate those living conditions must have lost their sense of smell!
Quick ring the Boris, no need to waste money on testing!!
It's been nice and quiet- Stinks do force people keep a distance!
To keep ..
I suspect it's calm because the shops have been denuded of cabbage, cauli, broc, garlic and Limburger cheese.
I never see that word without thinking of Lamburger Gessler in William Tell
I think this is why broccoli is selling out
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