Anyone else lonely this Christmas

Oh look after yourself ceejay, it is horrible being lonely. Next year vow to join something, anything that takes your fancy be it U3A, a local social group , volunteering. Make yourself even if you don’t feel like it. Meanwhile can you ring someone you know, family or not and just tell them you are feeling isolated - most people will at least chat for a while?

I second what nanny8 has said please don’t let your mental health dominate your life as I know it can. Talk to people tell them how you feel reach out if you don’t you will miss out on much needed company. Even in the cold weather wrap up and take yourself out if physically able a good walk lifts your spirits.

Yes ceejayjay being on your own at Christmas can feel lonely. Also working from home can feel as though you are isolated from your colleagues. Get some nice food in, listen to some lovely music watch a film, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Perhaps pop into a local church to hear the Christmas carols (you don't have to be religious to do this). If you like this type of music it may feel uplifting and there will also be an opportunity to talk to other people. Whatever you decide I wish you peace and joy at this time of Year.

Dear Gransnet,

I am a new member here, yes in a simpler position. I am super positive, friendly and a happy female but I have had far too many Christmas holidays alone, it is time for me to reach out and not be ashamed of saying I am alone once again this festive season. I now need to be making my own memories.

I am estranged from my birth family, immediate family and Grandchildren. I thought rather than sit alone, eat alone and walk alone are there anyone in the same position as me that feels the same? If so please do get in touch. It would be nice to hear from you.

Kindest regards,

MJ.

I only have a small family so find the run up to Christmas awful. I usually see it as a break, and ignore the media focusing on families. This year may be different though for various reasons.

Ceejayjay and MJ - don’t let Xmas day be the main focus, but I understand. I have not been a fan of Xmas, since my divorce. It’s all so complicated especially for the AC and GC - making days for me and days for their Father and trying to please everyone. But it is what it is.
Estrangement can happen to anyone - I know I dodged the bulletin a couple of times.
Yes, join some groups or why not volunteer at the Salvation Army to help with serving food etc on Xmas Day? But whatever you’re doing , I hope you find peace and love. Merry Xmas 🎅

Small family too and confess I am always relieved when it’s all over. There, I have said it.

Dear Ceejayjay,

I do not have a single engagement in my diary either! I am deeply horrified to hear this. I have mental health issues too where socialising for me is hugely triggering. Yes me neither no NYE parties but I would like so much to wear something glittery! And get out their...How do I cope I do not think I just do! But no matter even when I am not focussing on it, it still does not take the hurt and pain away, does it?

Life hurts me because I have been erased from it! So I suddenly thought coming together with like minded females is making the difference. To just see a smile, to giggle and to hear laughter is a Christmas present in itself.

Dear Crazy,H

I am a fan of Christmas, I like this season but hard to deal with it when there is no one to share it with. I am sorry that you are not since your divorce. Why not alternate Christmas/ NYE holidays between you and your ex-husband? This way clear boundaries cannot be blurred and everyone can enjoy the holidays that much better taking the angst out of where everyone should be, drop off pick up etc. I understand as this is exactly what I did with my ex-husband. But as we all know what works for one does not necessarily work for another.

Join groups not at Christmas, I want to share have people around my Christmas table, I have thought of volunteering but not ready at all. Thank-you for your Christmas wishes love which is extremely kind of you and extremely appreciated!

I am sorry the ladies are lonely this year, I don't look forward to it because working in a supermarket, I have to listen to the same Xmas records all day.After working through the days leading up to christmas, I am glad of peace and quiet

I bet you are Lucy. If I hear Wish it could be Christmas every day one more time I think I might squeem and squeem until I am sick. 🤢

Oh Lucy l here you gosh l have often wondered what is it really like working in supermarket? Music crikey yes l imagine you are.

Here, here l think l would have to wear ear plugs in my ears!

Thank you Lucy for acknowledgement.

Well said judy54.x

Let me tell you how my Christmas is panning out.
I have a long standing friend who had nowhere to go. I invited her to come here for Christmas Day and to stay overnight with her 3 dogs. Fine, am happy about that.
We have another friend who lost his wife this year so have invited him and his dog on Boxing Day. I haven’t heard back from him yet because I asked him in the card that I only posted yesterday.
This morning friend one says lovely, she will stay till Wednesday🤦🏼‍♀️. I don’t think friend 2 will get on with friend 1 and her 3 boisterous dogs. Now I have a dilemma. I think I will go to Australia next year!
Having said that…. To all you lonely people please let people know that you would welcome an invitation. Sometimes we don’t think.

One year I rang a homeless charity asking if they needed help on Christmas Day. The curt reply was that they needed help all year round rather than just one day. It put me in my place really. I would suggest volunteering for a charity prior to Christmas (maybe too late this year I realise) and then chances are you will be needed over Christmas. Also, where I live, I have seen posters for Christmas lunches for people on their own. Perhaps there is something like that near you.

That is such a lovely thing to do! But why not say to your friend that you have plans and you can only do one night?

Yes l agree l am not ashamed of saying l am alone and lonely. It feels such a relief to say that!

😊

MJ,
I’ve told friend 1 that she has to go out or stay in the Annex when friend 2 is here.
She seems happy with that so hopefully all will go well.

Hello PamelaJ1,

Oh good for you, l am so glad you are sorted! 😊

Hello Skydancer,

I will volunteer but l am not quite ready, yes l was looking in my area but cannot see anything.

You can feel lonely in a crowd of people too. I always think on how lonely people must feel at Xmas as everything in centred on happy families. If even one gransnetter opens a thread early on xmas day, I will certainly have a little chat with you. I will be at my daughters on xmas day and there will be family members there too.

Hello polomint

Yes that is a very good point, that makes me feel a little better. Oh bless you thank-you, yes count me in I will be here!

The Singles holiday companies, Just You, One Traveller etc offer Xmas and NY breaks in the UK and abroad. I am fortunate enough to have family to spend Xmas with, but always go away for the NY.

If you like dogs but don’t have one, head for your local park with some good quality dog treats in your pocket. Ask dog owners if you can give their dog a treat. Dog owners are very friendly and will be happy to chat to you about their dog. If you do this regularly you will get to know the dogs and owners. I wish you all the very best and hope this helps.