Secret Santa - to do or not to do?

Wonder if there are any the group who don't receive any other pressies.
A secret Santa involves buying 1 gift.

Secret Santa to me is not buying everyone a present in the group. Just picking out one name from a hat.
When I was at work a few years ago we decided to buy for the Santa gift " pound shop pressie"
Or anything for £1 maximum for a charity shop. It's fun.! Make the gifts as horrible as possible so they usually get donated straight away, so charity wins again!
Everyone has to be in on the joke of course x

I love secret Santa, and belong to several groups where we do it. Each person buys only ONE present, and of course draws only one out. The guideline is fiver or under and get it from a charity shop if you can. It's fun, and it's win/win. £10 is too much unless you're wealthy, £10x10 is just ridiculous. I have four children, four grandchildren and a husband to buy for and couldn't afford that. Nor would I feel it's appropriate.

I am now a bit confused. Surely you don't send a secret gift to each of the members? . Our secret Santa has only ever been you supply one gift and take one gift.. Sometimes we have put names in a hat and bought for one specific person mostly put in a gift and take a gift.

I think in the cost of living crisis none of you should have a secret santa but instead donate to a charity. Some people have no insight into other peoples' financial hardships.

We used to do Secret Santa in the office I worked in. We all wrote down something we’d like to receive to the value of a fiver ( this was thirty years ago) and added our name. The notes were folded and put in a container, given a shake and then we each took out a note and bought the requested gift for that person. Gift was wrapped and named and handed out by the boss dressed as Santa on our last day at work before Christmas. The recipient didn’t know who’d bought their gift obviously.
That way we all spent the same amount and knew that we were buying a gift that was genuinely wanted. No more rubbish!
I’ve still got some of mine, and often reread my paperback of Greek Myths and still enjoy it.

LRavenscroft

Lathyrus

They might or they might think she’s a meany, you just don’t know.🤔

Don't really mind what people think of me. That is their business.

That’s OK then. Just flagging up that it might cause some bad feeling in the group, rather than the “I expect others will be glad too”. You won’t know till you do it.

I would explain to the group next time you meet that you do not want to be included in the Secret Santa this year, as money is tight. No-one should expect you to contribute to it, and obviously, you are not taking part, so you don't expect a present.

I would not offer any further explanation, and certainly not ask them to donate to charity instead. That to me is being impertinent. They are grown-ups and must decide, as you are doing, for themselves what they want to spend their money on.

You may be surprised by the sigh of relief that goes up from the group when you honestly say you cannot afford this kind of thing in the present circumstances.

I would not be happy to hear that my Secret Santa has been given to the donkey sanctuary. Nor to get a mince pie or spicy biscuit in exchange of your donation to charity. Give charity £90 and keep tradition going with your group.

Why are you buying a gift for all members of the group. Secret Santa usually means all the names are put in a "hat" you draw one out and that is the person you buy a gift for. Never heard of buying for a whole group as you seem to do. Used it at work and I would have grudged spendng over £200 on my team, never mind the having to think of so many gifts.

Lathyrus

They might or they might think she’s a meany, you just don’t know.🤔

Don't really mind what people think of me. That is their business.

I love a secret Santa. Yes times are hard so maybe have a conversatiion and lower it to £5 but we a need a bit of fun. Our have included all sorts of random things over the years. From Tins of salmon to gagets for hulling strawberries. From lipsticks to furry handcuffs! Not saying which I still use.
Suffice to say I love a strawberry !!

Kryptonite

Love the buying from charity shop idea. That's what I shall do. Thanks! Hate this yearly silliness. I think most people at my place do, but it has been someone's pet project for years, so what can you do without offending? 🙄

Or maybe consider the small independent retailer rather than a Charity shop.
(I know I’ve got a vested interest here but if you don’t want a high street full of Charity shops, support the little shops there now.)

Love the buying from charity shop idea. That's what I shall do. Thanks! Hate this yearly silliness. I think most people at my place do, but it has been someone's pet project for years, so what can you do without offending? 🙄

We used to do ss with a twist at my old workplace. The budget was £5 max. though some obviously spent more(their choice). We chose a theme each year, Christmas baubles, christmas chocolate,mini toiletries etc. We had a bran tub/ lucky dip. Everyone bought one thing related to that years theme and we all dipped into the tub. I thought this was better than choosing for a particular person and far more fun!

They might or they might think she’s a meany, you just don’t know.🤔

Lathyrus

LRavenscroft

Thanks for all your replies. To be honest with you I would rather give my tenner to the Animal Rescue centre. Last year I got a packet of tea and I know that the donor concerned spends a lot on what suits them. I am just not their 'cup of tea'! The centre are desperate for money after Covid and the current financial situation and so many cats and dogs are being given up because their owners can't afford to keep them after having acquired them as companions during Covid. Just personal decision, but again thanks for all your input.

I think that’s fine as long as you say I’m not taking part full stop and don’t tell someone you’re donating to the Animal Centre on their behalf.

Totally agree with you, Lathyrus. I am doing it in other areas of my life as well so it is not a one off decision for that group.

I think thats a lovely idea. I bet a lot in the group would agree with you.

LRavenscroft

Thanks for all your replies. To be honest with you I would rather give my tenner to the Animal Rescue centre. Last year I got a packet of tea and I know that the donor concerned spends a lot on what suits them. I am just not their 'cup of tea'! The centre are desperate for money after Covid and the current financial situation and so many cats and dogs are being given up because their owners can't afford to keep them after having acquired them as companions during Covid. Just personal decision, but again thanks for all your input.

I think that’s fine as long as you say I’m not taking part full stop and don’t tell someone you’re donating to the Animal Centre on their behalf.

Kryptonite

£100? Is that on gifts for the poetry group? If so, way too excessive. Definitely give to your chosen good cause. I reckon others will follow you on this 👍

Read the thread!

£100? Is that on gifts for the poetry group? If so, way too excessive. Definitely give to your chosen good cause. I reckon others will follow you on this 👍

Saggi

I’m confused …. I’ve never done it ,but with secret Santa group don’t you just buy for the one person who’s’ name you ‘pull out of hat’

Yes Saggi, that's right. Alternatively, all the gifts are chosen as in a lucky dip from a pile - that was the case with me so please see my previous comment. I won't do taking part in a SS every again.

Thanks for all your replies. To be honest with you I would rather give my tenner to the Animal Rescue centre. Last year I got a packet of tea and I know that the donor concerned spends a lot on what suits them. I am just not their 'cup of tea'! The centre are desperate for money after Covid and the current financial situation and so many cats and dogs are being given up because their owners can't afford to keep them after having acquired them as companions during Covid. Just personal decision, but again thanks for all your input.

BlueBelle

Oh spend your £10 and join in it’s a bit of fun after all
Our group has a £5 ceiling which is nothing it’s only once a year Our charity shop sells lots of things (new and unwanted or new and regifted) for a fiver or under I d be annoyed if I got a card to say I d just donated to something I didn’t agree with or wasn’t interested in and it will set you apart to say I don’t want to join in
That’s what I d do anyway

I would do this too....OP says she's not skint so she could give another tenner to charity if she wants

Froglady

Lathyrus

Oh wow. It didn’t occur to me you meant £10 for each of them😱

Same here, I thought it was just one present; wow, that is a lot of money for presents. On that case I would say to the group what you intend to do instead of buying individual presents- maybe, as an alternative suggestion thst you just have a Secret Santa for one person in the group rather than the whole group?

If you'd read the post before mine which was literally 2 away from yours, you'd have known it was for one present.