Comparing how much grandparents spend

Reading these, it looks like I am being mean, 17 to buy for, and I am part time on minimum wage, so I buy what I hope each would like, and the prices vary depending on what it is, rather than who it is. I hope my family dont read any inference into what I have spent on each particular person, I dont even count up, but if there's something I know a family member particularly likes I would tend to spend more on that present than if I have no clue for what to get, so am just buying anything for the sake of giving a present.

Children don't expect everyone to give matching gifts or amounts. I ask their parents what they'd like as it takes a bit of pressure off them. For Christmas it averages about £30 - £40 each, although this year, one had a £25 present, another £50. The younger ones have no idea of prices, so I often spend more on the teenagers.

I tend to splash out more on their birthdays, as then I'm not buying for all six at once.

I’d suggest he’s of an age where he would be able to take on board the idea that money doesn’t buy love. Personally I feel the greatest gift we can give any child is time, especially when used in conversation.
Is it me or has this forum turned rather competitive? What I’ve spent will remain between me and my bank account.

As the OP, I am staggered at the amount some of you spend at Christmas, but otherwise I conclude that I am perhaps a tad on the mean side. I have four grandchildren who as teenagers now just want money, so they all get the same amount, which I plan to increase next year. The oldest one is 18, but as a student she is probably in the most need!

GC £30 each to the round the corner 2 biological mine and £150 sent to the far away ones, as a blended family we send the 150 to his DD and she deals . My DH has a very large family 7GC and 11 GGC ages from 33 oldest GS down to 3/4weeks youngest GGC no way we could deal . They all turn up at DD house over Christmas holidays .

I give all my grandchildren money, which they are old enough to appreciate. Their other grandparents don’t live nearby, and one set in particular spend at least 5 times what we do, but mostly on stuff which ends up in the charity shop. I feel no guilt at all about this, and can’t be ars*d with competition. They’ll get what I can afford, and if they don’t like it, tough.

My three AC and their partners plus 7 GC and 6 friends - about £20 each. I spend only a little more on birthdays.

Don't worry about it. You cannot be equal to others all of the time. You're inevitably going to be more generous at points in other ways. Don't compare or worry. Your grandson just stated facts thoughtlessly. It's not knocking you. My grandparents were never equal in gifts or time spent with me. I valued quality time and heartfelt moments so much more than the generous gifts.

Sussex born I agree with you. Do not be pressured into something you don't agree with. Quite frankly 15 yr olds can be pretty manipulative and will quite happily set different family members into competition if they are to benefit! I have seen this in action - and it's not nice to witness, I was on the periphy so could not interfere.

I don’t have a set amount for each person, but once summer is over start to put away bits and pieces I think the recipient will like.

My youngest GD, (two in November) was thrilled to bits with the orange she had requested and which her other GP’s gave her. She had eaten it within ten minutes of opening it. Her other favourite was the soft toy sausage dog we gave her, which I’d bought in a sale.

She had other gifts from both GP’s but those were the ones that were loved the best, and were the cheapest.

We have 16 grandchildren and along with their parents have 30 to buy for. The children all know their other grandparents spend more because they have less to buy for. Our whole family Christmas party and cousins who will be friends for life more than make up the difference.

Cabbie don't be upset about it. It's too blooming materialistic these days. The real reason for Christmas has gone out of the window for a lot of people. I have a friend who says "Jesus is the reason for the Season." Makes sense whether or not you are a Christian in my opinon. It's the thought that counts.

We are comfortably off and we like to spend on our family now rather than leave a large amount for the children to pay in death duties! We spend around £500 on each child and £200 on grandchildren. Half in money...rest in presents. We are scrupulously fair....each has the same monetary value.

I have three children and seven grandkids they all get £100 each Christmas and birthdays
I only have my pension no other money coming in so it’s a chunk but they are all I have and I can’t start making it less and still feel comfortable so that’s how it is for me and that’s how it will stay even though at least three earn a lot more than me ?

This year we went to great lengths to find exactly what was requested, and although our income has decreased we're finding the requests increase! Due to illness and other family members desperatly needing our time & travelling distance we couldn't physically deliver the very large, heavy box of 'stuff' to one family branch, so posted (stiff charges) it with an explanation & apologies & it arrived in good time (no acknowledgement from recipients though). In the past we've been the family courier service, this year we just couldn't do it & warned everyone- no attention paid and we've had the irritation generated by our perceived lack of effort! It's very hurtful. This year we didn't even get a phone call. DH says we should go on holiday next year or book ourselves a restaurant Christmas dinner, send vouchers for gifts & stop trying to please everyone else.

I am not the other GP. I spend on my GC and have no idea to the banking of the others. I may be mean.

This year I was left feeling like a real scrooge. 7 year old GD had a wish list prepared with DiL which I found helpful. The most expensive items was a party dress and I bought this together with a couple pairs if sparkly tights all as her main gift. Also bought 4 other little items including a game. I thought I was doing well. At DiL for Christmas Day opening of presents from other GP went on all day long. I didn't see most of the stuff on GDs wish list so there must have been another one for other GP. Never felt so mean in my life and vowed I would not spend another Christmas Day there.

I have one GD, one year old. I gave her £50 towards annual ticket to fun park and zoo nearby. I could afford more but I know how I’ve always appreciated everything I’ve had all my life which I put down to not being given loads of stuff as a child. I don’t think you do children any favours giving them all they want, and your love and time are the most precious gifts.

Children can be incredibly materialistic!

We have four adult children with partners and nine grandchildren. We now limit spending to £40 for adult kids, £30 for partners and somewhere in between for the GCs. Same for birthdays unless they’re significant ones in which case we give them £100. Soon we’ll have to rethink spending as I’m due to retire next September.

It is obvious by the posts that people posting have very varying amounts of disposable income with which to buy presents. So to me you give what you think is appropriate for your situation. Living abroad my present to my grandchildren under 18 is money into their savings acounts. I have a lot of grandchildren. But this year I have concentrated on those in more need especially as this has to come from my savings. I am having to be careful because I may need to pay for cancer treatment which may not be available on the health service here out of my savings.

My mum gives 3 GC aged 15, 17 and 22 £20 each for both christmas and birthdays.
My dad and stepmum spends about the same but gets me to buy a present.
My sisters mil spends about the same as does my partner's parents on my daughter, although they usually buy a gift to unwrap.
The kids don't compare, and on certain occasions 21st had more, my nephew who was 17 got a few driving lessons, and no doubt my neice will get something special for one of her big birthdays.
When she was going to uni my mum helped pay for a laptop as I had just got made redundant.
And this year she gave me and my partner £1000 to book a holiday and my sister the same a few months later.
She doesn't go mad with presents but if help is needed and she has it she will help.

Gardenergran
That sounds like a great idea for a present.

I’m very aware we spend a lot on our grandchildren, but we are both still working, and we like to spoil them.
It’s in no way a competition, we do what we can, so do the other grandparents, one child has a father and grandparents who show very little interest in her, so I suppose we tend to over compensate.

I used to buy each of the four DGC a present to open and a cheque for their bank account but now they are older I just give them £40 in cash as they do internet banking and we don't. I suspect the money just gets spent and doesn't go in their bank accounts but I feel that is up to them (and their parents). They get the same amount for their birthdays. I'm thinking maybe next year I should up this amount a bit but not hugely. I've no idea what the other grandparents give and I don't really want to know. As a family, we don't do presents for the adults. Gosh - we sound mean, don't we?