Good morning Michael and all GN's on a very dark and still morning in North Yorkshire. It most certainly hasnt been a good morning for me! A rubbish night, with my back giving me a lot of pain, not helped by suddenly sneezing which hurt my back, as it was unexpected. I am really struggling today, and of course things fell on the floor, which I at first attempted to pick up but had to wait until I could go and get my grabber, couldnt bend down at all. Shall have to hope that a shower will help a bit.
Yesterday turned out quite differently than I had expected, but pleasant. I had struggled to get going, but a shower helped a bit. However I knew that there was no chance of either doing any weeding or attempting to do any ironing. It was going to have to be a day of seeing what I could manage. I also was feeling very very tired, but saw that as a good thing, because after the horrible week I have had, I was at last letting myself acknowledge how tough it had been and stopped trying to force myself to keep going.
It was very irritating but probably a good thing, that I kept dozing off in the middle of doing things, and on one occasion woke to find my foot perilously close to treading on my precious glasses! I was glad of having radio sound as I was listening to something and fell asleep in the middle of it.
The weather was quite sunny and pleasant, but they forecast rain later. I looked at my local paper and decided that , as it was not a day for trying to accomplish jobs here I would make the most of the weather, and then decided to go to the URC church where they were holding a harvest festival. I was struggling to get myself ready, but went off on the yellow peril and was just in time for the service. I knew the pastor as this is part of the same circuit as my swaledale churches and it was a lovely service. I had left the buggy on the actual path, as it was all cobbles elsewhere and couldnt manage to park it up there, too painful.
A good service with all the beloved hymns except of course I missed having one with reference to the sea as we used to have when I was a child in the east riding. After the service they had coffee which I was happy to join them with and meet and chat with some of the congregation, but what I had not known about was that they had a harvest lunch to which I was invited. It was a simple lunch of sandwiches and salads and little pork pies and sausage rolls. There was plenty so I didnt feel I was putting them out and enjoyed the unexpected pleasure of something I hadnt organised and a variety of things. The service had of course been about thankfulness for harvest and the sermon was looking at the sense of worldwide harvest, looking at the many things we use everyday without thinking of the worldwide places they all come from, so she had pepper and cinnamon and chilli and bay leaves, which are the sorts of things we have on our shelves and we looked at the places they all came from , and saw the world in our kitchens. We spoke of the fairtrade and how we can try and support many growers far and wide. It reminded me of many years ago when our methodist church raised money to help women farm and become independant , and we bought goats and pigs for them.
So I came away and had a bit of a ride up the highstreet while it was very quiet, which allowed me to look in shop windows, without blocking any body on the buggy. I then came home, and did manage to go through one pile of clothing, sorting out summer things to go away, winter things to hang up, but didnt make any attempt to do any ironing or anything else, but later watched antique road show and the play, so physically not a great day, but mentally restful and pleasant, and think that the various naps were a help to at last get a bit of sleep.
Today is going to have to be see what I can manage, so no good making great plans, apart from getting down to reading the letter about my eyes carefully, then contacting some help lines to hear what they have to say and hopefully the way will become clear to me , as to what I need to do. At the moment absolutely none of the options are anything I want to do, but doing nothing and sticking my head in the sand is no good either, and I will stick to my attitude, that I have always wanted to do, which is be independant, take advice but it is up to me to make decisions about myself and live with the consequences. That has to be the way for me in hard things as well as easy things. I feel I must find out as much as possible and then I think my idea is to make myself a little picnic and coffee and go up to my special place in Swaledale. It is my place of calm and solace and memories of my husband and my granny. When I am there I am able to see the broader picture and ask myself what would they have said, and often when I am there, things become clear somehow without much hassle. Hopefully it will work its magic for me again. We shall see. I shant be going up there today I dont think so ideas will have time to percolate through for a day or two.
Well I hope you have a good trip Mick and see a friend or two. Greyduster, well done for rescuing the cake, hope the jab goes well and you get your walk this afternoon. Baubles good luck at the dentists, and hope making poppies helps you to distract yourself for a bit. Last year in Thirsk they had the usual lovely show of red poppies, but also made some purple ones for the animals who di so much in the war, so the dogs and horses and the pigeons etc who all helped. My grandfather talked very little about his time in the Somme and Ypres but he did speak of his horse, and I think the horse gave him someone to listen to him and touch and allow himself to say how frightened he was etc. I hope all goes well for Stillearning and she will be back here soon.
Well just got some lovely Elgar on the radio and time to see how well I can hobble in search of much needed coffee and some breakfast. Still absolutely black outside cant see even the outline of the tree, so no idea what the weather is going to be like. Wishing you all a good day and some success, whether it is getting that job finally done, or shutting the door firmly on the jobs and going out to meet friends, enjoy what comes.
