Giving Flowers!

Patsy70

My lovely friend arranged these flowers for me when she came over for tea and cake recently.

Those are so lovely.
And to those getting a bit snippy, please let’s not pile onto the OP for a turn of phrase or for being honest about the flowers on here, it’s not as if she threw them back at her relatives, she accepted them in the spirit they were given.
I think it is good that we can be honest about things on here whereas we need to be careful when with relatives and friends.

My lovely friend arranged these flowers for me when she came over for tea and cake recently.

I think some of the PPs need to really read the OPs post before they make such unpleasant remarks.
OP said she gave heartfelt thanks. But she doesnt like flowers especially highly scented ones (which can bring on headaches).

She is just chatting about the situation of receiving something expensive which she knows the donor probably can't afford which doesn't give her pleasure. Which is a shame but true.

The same situation would be if very expensive chocolates were given to a diabetic or expensive wine to a recovering alcoholic...ok that example is not quite the same, but you get the picture. Would OP then be called mean and ungrateful by not wanting it but saying thankyou anyway?

Jaxjacky

But you like sweet peas, so some flowers are ok?

Yes, but in the garden which is where I think flowers belong. But, that is my personal choice.

Flippinheck

I was sympathetic until I read ‘we give to suit ourselves not the recipient’. Your donor did a nice thing, not knowing you don’t like flowers yet, with that quote, you make your relative sound selfish. Not a nice thing to say about someone who was trying to be kind.
And that quote, in most cases, is wrong and mean spirited.

Oh, for goodness sake, it was only an idea I was floating, and just thought it would make a point of discussion. You don't need to use such strong words as mean spirited and wrong and selfish. These are your choice of words.

But you like sweet peas, so some flowers are ok?

Tworedroses

You come across as ungrateful. How nice of you not to tell your relative you didn’t like her flowers. 🤔

One cannot help the way one feels. I am a very simple person in my tastes and don't like to see my relative spend money they just don't have. But, I do recognise that the pleasure is all theirs so am gracious in my acceptance and would never divulge my real dislike as they are very, very fragile emotionally and I know that sending the flowers makes them feel as if they are doing something to make me happy. That is the point that I appreciate.

I was sympathetic until I read ‘we give to suit ourselves not the recipient’. Your donor did a nice thing, not knowing you don’t like flowers yet, with that quote, you make your relative sound selfish. Not a nice thing to say about someone who was trying to be kind.
And that quote, in most cases, is wrong and mean spirited.

I love receiving flowers. I often have vases of flowers from the garden in my home.

I have just bought my friend a beautiful bunch from Tesco, her husband has been really unwell. She was delighted!

I don’t much like food gifts, it’s often not to my taste or just not what I eat eg biscuits. Flowers have the benefit of not needing a permanent home.

If I didn’t like flowers I’d develop a case of hayfever, I think.

i am the same, i have never liked getting flowers, my family and friends all know this and sometimes buy me a plant, my son bought me 3 mini cactus as he said they suited me.....prickly. my sister in law will send flowers even though she knows, i give them to a friend or neighbour. i have had to stop sending flowers to my mum as she has suddenly at 80 developed hayfever, never had it in her life but doctors say your body can change, maybe you could use that as an excuse if you don't want to hurt your relatives feelings.

You come across as ungrateful. How nice of you not to tell your relative you didn’t like her flowers. 🤔

Accept with grace and put them in a room where you infrequently go if you don’t want to see them.

Lately in M&S I’ve recently seen some very pretty, small bouquets that come in their own glass vase, with water, all nicely cellophane wrapped.
I was very pleased glad to find such a thing for a neighbour’s 90th - no need for her to have the faff of finding a vase, snipping stems, etc.

Are you likely to get another one. OP? Or regular deliveries? That is a problem especially if the vulnerable donor is not able to afford them easily.
Don't know how you can get round that if they would be upset if you revealed you don't like them. The flowers I mean.

Is there a reason she/he has sent them?

I always think it's polite to accept presents gratefully especially if the sender doesn't know your preferences. When they do and send you things you hate to be spiteful that's a different matter. My evil Mother in law used to give me candles knowing I hate them. Charity shops and raffles always got them.

SpinDriftCoastal
Could you maybe hint at smaller bunches?
Or say, a love of nice chocolates or coffee,or bath bombs...

Maybe they just don't know what else to send?

I love fresh flowers and spend far too much on them so any flowers are gratefully received. Good for you for being grateful.

Yes I agree I dont like being given a bouquet. Often the flowers are mixed colours and a lot of filler greenery. I have to find vases, jugs etc.
I quite like a bunch of daffodils or tulips, but the mixed bunches are so expensive. And roses with no perfume. Please no. Especially when out of season. I expect people will say how ungrateful blah blah and I do say thank you of course.
But love a card or a hug or pot of honey or nice jam or a potted lave der. But flowers. No thank you.

I think you are a really considerate person for not letting your relative know
that you don’t like flowers. Next time why not pass the flowers on to someone you know who will really enjoy them. As long as your relative doesn’t drop in often, then you will have to hold onto them.
Flowers are a bit of a faff and definitely not a gift for someone hosting a meal, the last thing a host needs is to be searching for a vase and trimming stems or thinning out leaves whilst making sure their meal doesn’t burn.
I usually buy food for friends or relatives but need to know their preferences.

MollyNew

Good for you, being a grateful and polite recipient rather than upsetting your relative

Yes, always be gracious when someone buys you a gift. So many people would appreciate such a kind thought. 💐

I love flowers, I always have them in the house, but admit that on mother’s days and my birthdays I get too many as gifts.

Good for you, being a grateful and polite recipient rather than upsetting your relative

MollyNew

Does your relative know you don't like receiving flowers?

Personally, I like having fresh flowers in the house, (particularly daffodils) although I don't often buy them as I think they're so expensive for something that lasts only a few days. We have some sweet peas in our garden and my OH regularly cuts a few and puts them in a small vase, they look so pretty. I like a nice card too.

No, my relative doesn't know I don't like flowers but I could not tell them as they are considered a vulnerable individual so it would really upset them. Your sweet peas sound delightful. I love sweet peas.

Does your relative know you don't like receiving flowers?

Personally, I like having fresh flowers in the house, (particularly daffodils) although I don't often buy them as I think they're so expensive for something that lasts only a few days. We have some sweet peas in our garden and my OH regularly cuts a few and puts them in a small vase, they look so pretty. I like a nice card too.