Should I say something?

Let her talk it out, you are her friends and that's what real friends are for,the good and the bad and be kind itcould be one of you one day

I’m doing something wrong. I didn’t know you were supposed to to have stopped crying after ten years.

I knew a woman whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack at work and she was still crying 10 years later! Felt sorry for her pensioner mother for dealing with it all that time

Oh dear, that’s a tough one, then! That kind of person really doesn’t have any self-awareness, unfortunately. If others are on the same waveband as you, perhaps you need to work together to try and steer conversation elsewhere.

I know it’s not easy doing that - a group I belong to has a member who harps on and on about a period of her life some thirty or forty years ago. It’s not a distressing topic or anything but I think we’re all now at the stage where we all think we’ve lived the same life because we’re so familiar with all the details! 😩

Yes. She saw a counsellor and she's been to a bereavement group but says they're not for her. She complained about the other bereaved ladies talking too much!

That’s very difficult. You don’t want to seem unfeeling but if it’s having a detrimental effect on others, that’s hard, too. Has she had professional counselling?

It's not that she doesn't feel up to joining groups it's just that she dominates them with her own situation.

Grief takes time of course but it needn’t be dwelt on continuously for over a year . I think this woman does need to learn that other people need time to talk about their own problems. Not sure what your meeting circumstances are but could you perhaps suggest before the next occasion that she doesn’t come if she doesn’t feel up to joining in general conversation?

I know. Of course it is. However, she needs her friends and they seem to be evaporating. At my age I know a lot of widows and have always been happy to support them in every way I can. I suppose they have been more outward looking and interested in others than the friend in question is.

Think it’s called grief and it takes time.