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Are you in your forever house?

(93 Posts)
Foxglove77 Sat 13-Jun-26 11:32:51

We have been in our house for over 40 years. It's where we raised our children and grand daughter. Kept 3 beloved dogs, several cats and other pets. I can't imagine living anywhere else. However it's a 3 bed semi and with DH's mobility issues, a downstairs bathroom would be useful. If we won the lottery, would we downsize to a lovely bungalow? I'm not sure.

Allsorts Sun 14-Jun-26 13:01:42

Tuliptree, that sounds perfect, see there's quite a few of you that have done similar. You must have been great parents. I often wonder where i went wrong, i did my best, they had a good home and were loved, one doesn't see me, the other does
but i feel its duty.

nanna8 Sun 14-Jun-26 13:22:53

We love our house and don’t want to move but who knows what will happen as regards health and capability as you reach your 80 s? It is a big house, we had a big family with a bedroom for each one and it is full of artworks, and various items given to us over the years. We have been here many years now. I still like to garden but have a bit of help now . It is a very private house surrounded by trees in a cul de sac, the edge of a forested hill. Lots of birds and native animals. Our little heaven. No, don’t want to move.

Margiknot Sun 14-Jun-26 17:02:23

We did the opposite to many and upsized over a decade ago ( from a 2 bed semi to a 3 bed centuries old house in a semi rural location. My parents ( who lived into their 90s) were becoming increasingly frail and we have a disabled now adult child. It’s fine at the moment but will need rethinking if circumstances change - as inevitable they will.

GrannyIvy Sun 14-Jun-26 20:49:53

I love my house we moved here in 1988. I have lovely neighbours and a beautiful garden. I really hope I will never have to move.

Jaxjacky Sun 14-Jun-26 21:52:31

I hope so, downsized five years after a divorce from a 4 bed detached, to a 3 bed semi, about 600m distance between them. Stability for my children with school and friends.
I’ve been here 27 years, MrJ 25, it had been extended before I moved in.
My children both live within a 20 minute drive, we see them regularly.

karmalady Mon 15-Jun-26 04:51:47

Who knows? It depends. I am between one dd in Wiltshire and one dd in Wales. I like my house very much, perfect for me, a well-constructed new build in a close of just 12 houses. A permanent dedicated sewing room, a wellness room, a spare bedroom and my bedroom

I like stairs, I like being 1/4 mile from shops and facilities and a 3 minute walk to buses. I like the nearby countryside, the rooftops of this ancient market town, my garden privacy. I like all my neighbours and being in a mixed and caring community. I hear church bells, cows, horses and I have an allotment

I too can make a house a home, it may not be forever, if Witshire dd moves to Wales, I will be back there like a shot, both dds want me close. It might happen, it might not. In the meantime, this is my happy home, maybe not forever, who knows

multicolourswapshop Mon 15-Jun-26 05:03:56

I’ve been in this lovely semidetached bungalow for 55 yrs and will be staying here forever, in fact my twin and I were born here 77 yrs ago we moved away , lived elsewhere for a number of years moved back in when I got married I love it here ive so many happy memories over the years lots of laughter and definitely lots of tears, I’ve extended large parts of this home over the years, we had 3 dogs and a cat the cat and 2 lovely dogs are buried in the garden. I intend to stay here until my last breath ❤️

Erica23 Mon 15-Jun-26 06:29:08

Interesting thread. We downsized seven years ago, it’s a two bed semi, perfect in lots of ways but a bit too small at times too.
I’ve never felt it’s my forever home though , and I can’t put my finger on why that would be. I suspect time will tell.

Nannyd0g Mon 15-Jun-26 11:00:03

We moved to our (well my) dream home 22 years ago, a smallholding in the countryside. I've always been an animal lover and especially mad about horses, but we lived in the Home Counties and anything with land was ridiculously expensive. Luckily my husband wasn't really tied to where we had to live with his job so we upped sticks and never looked back, and hubby loves it here too (we're both now retired). It might need constant maintenance but I couldn't bear the thought of moving. However it is a lot of work which I still do mainly, I don't have plans to go anywhere else but health or circumstances will probably eventually dictate otherwise. The thought of having to clear out all the junk I've accumulated is quite daunting! But making the most of what time I have here while I'm still relatively active.

LemonJam Mon 15-Jun-26 11:56:57

Moved into my house after divorce nearly 20 years ago. I'm not sure it will be my forever home. I love my area and community so not likely to stray too far if I move at some stage. Downsizing to a 2 bed flat when the house and garden gets too much is a big possibility- it's knowing when the time is right....

henetha Mon 15-Jun-26 12:15:50

I think this has to be my forever house as I have neither the energy or the money to move. It's lovely here, luckily, but I have itchy feet and don't like staying anywhere too long.

dragonfly46 Mon 15-Jun-26 12:17:48

Who knows? I love this house but it is far too big for two of us and if either of us is going to be alone it could become too big. I now have help with the cleaning and the gardening.
When DH was in hospital before Christmas I had a stairlift installed as I didn't think he would manage the stairs again.
He can still go up and down stairs but it is there if needed. I use it to bring the washing down stairs.

Both AC live a distance away but as one is going through a painful divorce I won't be moving there. The other is married to an Australian and they may go back there when he retires.

I have lived in many houses in my life so I am pretty adaptable and I don't look too far ahead.

Grandmotherto8 Mon 15-Jun-26 13:53:25

I've done a move from my 5 bed family home to a 4 bed more manageable home. I realised that I couldn't go down to the number of bedrooms I really needed as the ground floor would be far too small for me, I love space! I could have bought a bungalow but I'm a bugger for having open windows at night, and even having a shutters would not allow me to rest easily. So I am in my forever home and am accepting of a stair lift in years to come.

Grandmotherto8 Mon 15-Jun-26 13:56:56

Addendum I did consider a flat but the ever increasing service charge totally put me off. I viewed a lovely flat with an all round balcony that I was sorely tempted by, but the service charges were bigger than any mortgage I ever had, £680 pm.

knspol Mon 15-Jun-26 13:58:05

We've moved house over 30 times and this one was meant to be if not forever then for a very long time. Now I'm on my own I've thought long and hard about moving but this is the longest time my late DH and I have ever lived in a home and there are just so many memories everywhere. It's not suitable for when I stop driving as it's rural with a couple of miles to the nearest local shop and almost non existent bus service. I do look at the houses for sale in the nearest town but they are few and far between and don't think I could cope with all the aggro of moving on my own at my age. The thought of a chain falling through and having to live for goodness knows how long in some sort of temp accommodation is a major concern.

Franbern Mon 15-Jun-26 14:00:11

I moved from the family house back in 2003. Purchased a lovely inner-terrace 1930's house, less than a mile from the original house. ( was in my early 60's. Spent the next few years having work done to this house to make it totally mine in every way. On the day I moved in, I told my children I would be there and only move out in my box.
Eighteen very happy years there, and I had to admit it was all getting too much for me. Use to view the stairs each night as if I was mounting Everest! Looked into stair lift - but not a good answer when living by yourself, no good for taking things up /down stairs - no suitable space for through ceiling lift. So, sold and moved into flat. Good sized one. No worries and payment for garden, balcony is lovely and large. Lovely, good sized Living/Dining room, en-suite shower room, separate bathroom and second bedroom. All on one level, kitchen door right opposite my bedroom. Garage at g round level, keeps my electric wheelchair and mobility scooter and all sorts of rubbish!!! I have, over the past six and half years, had new kitchen, new bathroom new en-suite, new flooring, etc. etc.
I think /hope this will be my final home. All paper work is kept carefully in a file to ensure ease for my children when they come to sell it.

Milest0ne Mon 15-Jun-26 14:05:45

We moved here to serve a purpose when we had a business. it has served its purpose and now I want to move nearer to family and friends but OH wants to stay here. He says he likes it here. It would be great for a holiday but we have no neighbours, no friends near-by and family about an hour away. All he does is sit and watch(sleep in front of). TV. Everything we do needs a car as we are nearly a mile from a bus stop. The house would need thousands spending on it to make for easier living. I can add several things to the list , starting with a walk in shower and a stair lift ,a gardener, a cleaner. etc----. We could release a lot of equity by moving but we have to struggle maintaining the kid's inheritance. Murder, divorce after 63 years or suicide seem rather too drastic but I am getting to screaming pitch.
Has anyone any ideas of how to get moving? _Please. sorry for seeming too dramatic.

Applegran Mon 15-Jun-26 14:18:21

I really hope to die in this house - i love it. It is bigger than i need but it means family can easily visit. I do not want to leave here. But life is uncertain and it has to be possible that health - particularly but not only sight problems - might make me move. I think it makes it easier if i do have to sell, if I accept now that i have to go with whatever reality brings.

Greciangirl Mon 15-Jun-26 14:39:31

I have been in my semi detached house for forty eight years and would dearly love to move, but the thought of all the upheaval really puts me off.
The house is really old and needs updating which I can’t afford.
Also, now in my eighties, I just don’t have the energy.

Moving nowadays is not at all simple. It’s hugely expensive for a start.

Jess20 Mon 15-Jun-26 15:01:55

Just had an offer on our 4 story house and hope to find something with fewer floors and parking plus garden! Not much around so fingers crossed.

sandelf Mon 15-Jun-26 15:04:04

Oh yes - every house we've lived in has been our forever house - then 'life' happens and we move...

4allweknow Mon 15-Jun-26 16:22:55

I know I won't move. Whilst in a 4 bed detatched the move 17 years ago was for a much better area and the house whilst 4 beds is a lot smaller than the one we moved from. 4 beds was needed for family visits as they don't live nearby. A bungalow in my area, even 2 beds would be ridiculously expensive and even the areas I wouldn't choose would be expensive. Is there no way you can have an extension to accommodate a downstairs bathroom/shower room. If you have an attached garage part of that could be accessed from a house normally and a shower room installed. Several people I have known have managed upstairs bathrooms with a stair lift. I know a 90 year old with mobility issues accesses her kitchen, sitting room (yes upside down house) upstairs with a stair lift. Hope you stay content in your home. The grass is always greener comes to mind.

Willow500 Mon 15-Jun-26 16:27:13

I'd like to think this is our forever home but am realistic enough to know if one of us passes away it would be too big for the one left.

We lived in our previous home for 36 years where we brought up our children, parents moved 60 miles to live round the corner and we had huge family parties there to celebrate all milestone birthdays, anniversaries, our granddaughters births etc but time moves on - parents passed away, one son emigrated to NZ with his wife and had 2 children, the other moved 3 hours away with our granddaughters and we retired so husband's daily commute down the motorway stopped. Friends we'd had over the years either passed away or their lives revolved around their own grandchildren. We realised we had no need to live there any more and 6 years ago moved back to the seaside town we both grew up in where we have old friends we've reconnected with and my husband's brother and his family.

We'd bought a small bungalow but knew it was only temporary and went back to a 4 bed house (although one of the bedrooms is an office). It isn't small but manageable for now although the large piece of woodland we own is becoming a worry to look after so we may have to get someone in to see to it eventually.

I always thought I'd be devastated to leave our old home but when we shut the door I never looked back so I realise home is just where you live in the present - the memories you make are in your own head and heart and you are constantly making new ones. We are in our 70's now, fingers crossed in fairly good health but if the time comes when this changes we will hopefully adapt to suit.

cc Mon 15-Jun-26 16:44:10

Basgetti

Yes, hope so. We recently downsized to our lovely flat. Hope it will be the one.

I'm the same as you, downsized to a flat almost six years ago and we love it here. Yes, it's much smaller than our house and yes, I'd have liked a proper garden, but I have a big balcony and am very close to two of my children.
If my daughter moved I might consider moving to be close to her again, but it would be a wrench as we've completely renovated to make our new home just what we want and need.

cc Mon 15-Jun-26 16:48:46

Milest0ne

We moved here to serve a purpose when we had a business. it has served its purpose and now I want to move nearer to family and friends but OH wants to stay here. He says he likes it here. It would be great for a holiday but we have no neighbours, no friends near-by and family about an hour away. All he does is sit and watch(sleep in front of). TV. Everything we do needs a car as we are nearly a mile from a bus stop. The house would need thousands spending on it to make for easier living. I can add several things to the list , starting with a walk in shower and a stair lift ,a gardener, a cleaner. etc----. We could release a lot of equity by moving but we have to struggle maintaining the kid's inheritance. Murder, divorce after 63 years or suicide seem rather too drastic but I am getting to screaming pitch.
Has anyone any ideas of how to get moving? _Please. sorry for seeming too dramatic.

We downsized and used the capital freed up to help the children move or renovate their homes. Hopefully, if we survive for seven years, we will avoid IHT on this as it is no longer in our estate. Makes more sense than hanging onto a house that was too big for us and paying IHT when we die and it is sold.