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Are you in your forever house?

(78 Posts)
Foxglove77 Sat 13-Jun-26 11:32:51

We have been in our house for over 40 years. It's where we raised our children and grand daughter. Kept 3 beloved dogs, several cats and other pets. I can't imagine living anywhere else. However it's a 3 bed semi and with DH's mobility issues, a downstairs bathroom would be useful. If we won the lottery, would we downsize to a lovely bungalow? I'm not sure.

JamesandJon33 Sat 13-Jun-26 13:46:48

Yes. Perhaps a bit too large for just us two, and the garden might be a problem one day, but we have lovely neighbours. A short walk takes us into the village. Dentist, doctor, chemist, coop, station, and good buses into town. We are also very near the sea and the coastal path. I think we’ ll stop here.

ViceVersa Sat 13-Jun-26 13:49:18

I've never lived anywhere else but in this house. Logically, it's too big for us now - and the very large garden is definitely getting too much for us, but it would break my heart to have to leave here.

Oreo Sat 13-Jun-26 13:53:50

I think you can never say never, events dear boy, events!
While I like my house I hope that a small bungalow somewhere quieter will appear to move to when I retire.

Rocketstop2 Sat 13-Jun-26 14:02:23

beachcomber76

I agree Rocketstop2 despite what I've just written. Any problem neighbour making my life a misery and I'd have an estate agent round straight away. I do not believe in being a martyr to anyone or anything when your life is being disrupted and peace shattered.

{All neighbours very good here - so far].

Yes that's a good point, nothing is worth losing your peace for .

kittylester Sat 13-Jun-26 14:03:00

Wwe have lived here for over 30 years and both still love the house. It has quite flexible living spaces so should adapt easily should we need it too. We purposefully chose a house with a small garden and close to the village centre.

I think the children would disown us if we moved.

Charleygirl5 Sat 13-Jun-26 14:03:20

IU love this house, but now I no longer drive it is a problem. I applied for and received Attendance Allowance to that helps towards taxi fares I really should move closer to shops but at 82 it is beyond me I think.

I emptied my loft about 10 years ago and my shed is full of mobility equipment which was being given free. I may need it!¬

67notout Sat 13-Jun-26 14:07:40

I thought I was. My husband died suddenly six years ago and I thought I would stay here. Perfect size house, really close to a gorgeous beach in Sussex, lovely village good transport, great neighbours and lovely family in the same village. Great! Roll forward six years, I am 78 this year and have an untreatable terminal illness and much as I love where I live I can’t manage the house without paid help. I have adapted the house to cope with the disease but then other bits of the body packed up too. So although in my head I am only 50 and full of can do, it’s time to be realistic maybe. Or if I only have say a year or two left should I stay here in this lovely house full of memories and the sea air? I can’t talk to the family as they each have different views or don’t want to talk about it, Right now I am propped up in my lovely garden knowing this is my last summer of physically being able to tend it, so that’s another paid help. I am good at clearing stuff out and donating or selling so there’s no clutter. Although my son in law has been caught looking at my books and shaking his head 😂
. As teenage parents we worked hard like our parents did but never dreamt we would ever live somewhere like this so that’s kind of what’s stopping me.

Greyduster Sat 13-Jun-26 14:32:34

We thought out last house was going to be out forever house but we moved before the neighbour drove me to a nervous breakdown. We made a huge mistake by letting our hearts rule our heads and falling for a house that was far too big for us then and certainly is for me now. But I love it - surrounded by fields and woods, but with all the services we need on the doorstep and good transport links into the city. My neighbours are wonderful. Before too much longer it is going to cost me too much to run and maintain and then I will have to think about selling it. DD is angling now for me to move to an apartment closer to her. At the moment, I can’t imagine it, but I’m sure the day will come.

Cossy Sat 13-Jun-26 14:48:06

Definitely not!

Very old mid terrace, built 1904, extended into roof, where our bedroom is, up two flights of stairs, boiling g in the summer, freezing in the wi ter and thank goodness it has an en suite, smallest ever.

We are literally waiting for our last three adult children to bugger of, errrr move out and we will sell and buy a two bedroom two bath roomed flat, on ground floor or with lifts and most definitely off street parking!

We simply cannot wait!!

Cossy Sat 13-Jun-26 14:54:02

FriedGreenTomatoes2

We downsized from our semi of 32 years, split the money and bought two small apartments - one here in south Manchester and one in Málaga. We’ve had the Spanish apt 22 years now and this UK one for 16 years. I love each of them for their own reasons.

My husband died 16 weeks ago today and as he urged me to pick up the threads of my life again I’m learning to hop between the two again.

I love having a foot in both camps. The best of both worlds I think. Good friends over the years in both places with the added bonus of family in the UK.

Small spaces wouldn’t suit most people. No UK garden, no pets, no room for crafting etc but to be honest I just absolutely love my lifestyle. I’m just so sad my 73 year old husband is no longer with me to enjoy it all.

I think it sounds absolutely perfect x

Bellasnana Sat 13-Jun-26 15:37:23

67notout I’m sorry to hear you are so unwell,💐

The longest I lived in one house was for 27 years. We had a lovely villa with beautiful sea views of the Med and it was ideal for raising our four children. We added to it over the years and also had a swimming pool put in which meant lovely summers with lots of friends and family around.

We turned the lower floor into a self-contained flat which we let out to holidaymakers for several years, many of whom became lifelong friends, then we moved Mum into it which was great for her and us as she was independent but close enough for the children to be in and out and for help when she needed it.

When we sold it people asked me how I could bear to leave but to me it had served it’s purpose, we were fortunate to have space when we needed it, and my memories would come with me wherever we lived.

We had sold our restaurant shortly after selling the villa so we moved to a more central area on the island to a 500 year old refurbished farm house. I loved it, it was still quite spacious but without much garden, and it had a quirky layout with stairs going in different directions so we all had privacy. By then the two eldest had gone off to live in the US so we had two teenagers still at home.

When DH was taken ill with oesophageal cancer, I realised that it was not a practical house for someone so unwell. He had to be carried up stairs by ambulance people several times (not possible to put a stair lift in) so we had started looking for somewhere on one floor.

Sadly he died before we found a place but soon after he died I had a buyer for the house so had to move again. It was a nightmare finding a suitable property and another nightmare packing up a big house yet again whilst dealing with profound grief.

Luckily, I found my current home, a three bedroomed maisonette which was a new build and not finished when I bought it so it took a while to get a kitchen put in, doors etc and finishing touches but I absolutely love it.

As FGT says, small is not for everyone but it’s perfect for me now I’m on my own as I can cope with cleaning etc plus it’s walking distance to all the amenities I need, even though I do have a car I don’t use it much. I hope this is my last home, I would not like to have to go to a care home but, since I don’t have a crystal ball , what will be will be. Sorry for the long post.🫣

Wazzam Sat 13-Jun-26 15:57:48

I was born in the House (71 years ago) that my wife and I are living now due to my father passing away when I was young and my Mother remarrying and moving across the road (now passed away as well).
Obviously, after living here that long I will NEVER move.

TwiceAsNice Sat 13-Jun-26 17:16:30

For the last 4 years have lived in a large house together with both daughters and twin granddaughters. I moved areas 10 years ago to be near them . Before this house I had a one bed flat near them in the same area then we pooled our money to buy this one together . It’s large, 6 bedrooms 1.6 acres of garden private, but near all amenities.

I can’t see me living on my own again and will probably stay here until I pop my clogs. I’ve lived in many houses before this one , first with ex husband and later alone post divorce .

Cabbie21 Sat 13-Jun-26 17:27:35

Having posted earlier in praise of this house, I have to admit that I can’t cope with the garden. It got out of hand when DH was not well enough. My son and daughter have worked wonders and don’t want me to get anyone in, but they have little spare time, and when they do it is often raining.

It is generally easy to keep clean but my energy levels are not what they used to be, so it has to be done in stages and some parts are getting neglected.
I think I will need to get paid help if I am to stay here indefinitely.

Pigma Sat 13-Jun-26 18:44:11

Definitely. An annexe to my son and family’s house with separate access and garden. Lounge/kitchen/dining room with low threshold French doors to private garden, a double bedroom and bathroom each with walk in showers, low threshold front door. We share a utility room that connects both properties.
Purpose built when we moved here seven years ago and future proofed so, if and when necessary, our one level accommodation could have wheelchair access, there is room for mobility scooters to be stored outside. DH has a summerhouse/workshop, I have a summerhouse/craft room. Shops and surgery at the end of the road, 5 mins walk to the hospital (vital as parking is horrendous), request buses pick up and drop off outside our gates, local tram to town free with bus passes. Meadowhall, IKEA and other shopping centres about 10 mins away. No council tax as we are an annexe to a relative’s house, we make a £200 contribution to bills but otherwise all covered, underfloor heating, unlimited hot water, double glazed and well insulated.
Decluttering before moving was a nightmare (early seventies) but that’s behind us now, every day is a holiday!

Doodledog Sat 13-Jun-26 20:50:27

That sounds perfect, Pigma.

V3ra Sat 13-Jun-26 21:33:45

We're still in the detached house we bought when our youngest was 7, he's now 41.
It's not our forever home though as two years ago we bought a retirement flat, which is currently rented out.

When our house garden is getting out of control I console myself thinking one day this won't be my problem, as when I'm living in my nice little flat I'll have someone doing all these jobs for me 😁

CanadianGran Sat 13-Jun-26 22:02:47

We bought my MIL's house, so DH has lived here his whole life, other than a few years of living with roommates in his 20's.
I've lived here for our 43 years of marriage. Good location, great view of the harbour, and comfortable. But there are 25 steps from the street to the front door, so eventually that will be hard!

At some point there will be the need to downsize, but most likely not for a while. I have told DH that it would be a good idea to do it before we are 70 since it gets to be overwhelming if left for too long.

LindaPat Sat 13-Jun-26 23:10:11

Yes, I hope this is our forever house. We moved in 24 years ago, just before we got married( 2nd time for me, 1st time for MrLP ), together with my teenage children.
Children have long since moved out and have their own homes, but this place suits us two. I used to walk past on the way to the park when my children were small, and always stopped to look and think how lovely it was - a corner detached cottage with a wraparound garden. Never thought that one day it would be mine!
It appeared for sale just when we started looking for our " together" house ( we both had one to sell), and we acted very quickly as there was a lot of interest.
I was camped on the estate agents doorstep the morning after our viewing , before they opened- good job, as the chap behind me was also after it!
We didn't really think about the long term future at the time, we both just loved the quirky old house (built in 1878 ), and the garden had possibilities for improvement.
Now, 24 years on, I can appreciate the advantages. Everything on one level ( apart from the staircase into the loft ), and easy access ,flat garden - which we are still "tweaking"!
We absolutely love this house and sincerely hope we never have to move.

Pigma Sun 14-Jun-26 01:06:09

Yes, Doodledog, it suits us perfectly. Took some organising and planning and a fair bit of legal stuff to cover all eventualities but we’ve never been happier.
Would urge anyone hoping to move to their forever home not to leave it too late, the upheaval is tiring and best over and done with sooner rather than later.

Youngerthanspringtime Sun 14-Jun-26 11:26:20

I left a,small house a few years ago to a bungalow. I thought I'd always have a car but have given it up a,while ago like a previous poster and am finding it hard to get about without taxis.
The bungalow is lovely and I've had the g garden landscaped to easy mainte nance. I don't think I could cope with another move but I am mainly surrounded by couples in houses out at work all day and don't know anyone. A little voice inside tells me I may have another move in me but I would have to consider everything very carefully. I'm even considering a flat in a over 55s set up but who knows

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sun 14-Jun-26 11:48:44

Quote Bellasnana Sat 13-Jun-26 15:37:23

Please don’t apologise for the length of your post Bellasnana I found it a very interesting read. However I’m sorry to hear your husband died of his cancer. It’s a hard stone to swallow.
💐

Calendargirl Sun 14-Jun-26 12:21:50

We moved to our bungalow 21 years ago. My sister said at the time ‘Is this your forever home?’ I said I didn’t know.

I love it here, but if one of us died, it would be a bit big for one person. And I’m not a keen gardener, that’s DH’s area, so if I were left….

Also, we are a good 10 minutes walk from our market town centre, there might come a day when we can’t walk far.

DS lives a few minutes away, but don’t see them very often as always busy.

We shall have to see how life pans out.

Allsorts Sun 14-Jun-26 12:22:54

Bellasnana, I echo FGT post. So sorry your husband died, thats hard enough without moving home. Your new home sounds perfect for you and I hope the future is good to you. I rattle around in a house I have been in all my married life, too much for me now find garden is going to pot and things need doing. I love my area always have, I am on my own most of the time now but the house is my safe space. I have to move but would not like to see this one again it would be too hard so will move to another town, my friends are dwindling, two have died, one is very ill so it can never be the same.

Tuliptree Sun 14-Jun-26 12:47:51

I’m hoping to move into my forever home very soon. My DD and SIL ( 2 dgc) are selling their house, I’m selling mine and we’re moving into a lovely house together where I shall have a ground floor ‘suite’. It will be designed so that if necessary a live in carer can be accommodated as I want to avoid a care home if at all possible. I’ve lived in my present home for 42 years and it’s no longer safe or suitable for me. We’re all looking forward to multi- generational living.