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On being called Darling and Love

(104 Posts)
Judy54 Sat 23-May-26 13:57:00

I have no objection to being addressed as darling or love except when it is on repeat! I recently met friends at a restaurant for lunch and was greeted by the front of house as hello darling. I said I was meeting friends and she said okay lovely lets see if we can find them, oh here they are darling. Taking our orders was the same we were all repeatedly addressed as darling or lovey, what happened to Madam? We felt that we were being treated as daft little old ladies, I may be little but am far from daft! Would you find this condescending?

Jaxjacky Sun 24-May-26 12:49:15

Not fussed really, in our local it’s mate, as in ‘alright mate’, I'm used to it after over thirty five years, do not like hun, I prefer most forms of address rather than being ignored,
I do agree about Madam in Françe.

henetha Sun 24-May-26 12:19:41

I quite like it really. Anything that is kindly meant is welcome.

BoggledMind Sun 24-May-26 11:33:08

I've been called a number of things over the years, some of which weren't exactly friendly, so things like 'darling', 'love', 'duck' don't bother me at all. I used to deliver frequently to a place in Yorkshire and a man used to say 'duck' - "thanks duck" for example. As a man myself, I initially found it odd, but once I realised it was just his way as a local, I had no problem with it at all.

I can, however, appreciate the fact that many people aren't keen on being spoken to with these words. Ultimately, we all like to be spoken to in a manner that we prefer.

Astitchintime Sun 24-May-26 11:19:24

I can tolerate most terms but the one I absolutely hate is being called ‘hun’!

Dottydots Sun 24-May-26 11:06:54

Well, I'm elderly and lonely, so I really don't mind how anyone addresses me, as it is usually spoken with a smile.

Samsara1 Sun 24-May-26 10:19:00

When we first moved to Leicestershire I heard 'me duck' a lot now not so much shame I liked it. Now I get lovely, sweet, and honey! I love being Madam especially when in Italy and France. Makes me feel smart and tidy which I am not.

25Avalon Sun 24-May-26 10:13:51

“My lover” when I lived in Exeter. found it rather odd as an 18 year old but just accepted it as a regional idiosyncrasy. Then in Bristol it was “me babby”.

LaCrepescule Sun 24-May-26 10:06:48

I was in a branch of Santander recently with my brother trying to sort out a new account. The advisor insisted on prefacing everything she said to us with “lovely.” I found it hugely unprofessional and patronising and walked out.

Wyllow3 Sun 24-May-26 09:28:09

I do say something whenever possible, Doodledog. Not when it's casual from a brief encounter, but definitely if it's people working within care services and similar, or someone I feel can understand my comments back. Made politely and carefully of course. Give them a chance to think twice.

Doodledog Sun 24-May-26 09:19:53

Like Wyllow, I find 'bless' is worse than names such as 'love', 'pet' or 'darling'. It's so condescending.

Cossy Sun 24-May-26 08:42:18

Luckygirl3

I can live with it! I have a Geordie SIL who calls me pet!

I love pet!

I’m not that bothered, unless it’s said in a really condescending way, I can tolerate “darling” and “lovely” but not so keen on “dear” and “love” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

M0nica Sun 24-May-26 08:40:28

What really gets my goat is being called 'Young lady'. Yes, it still happens. I am in my 80s, I am not young. It is patronising in the extreme.

SpinDriftCoastal Sun 24-May-26 08:30:16

I don't mind being called darling if the speaker is a soft or gentle person or someone who is trying to make me feel at ease. What I do object to is when someone superior and sniffy calls me 'darling' to patronise me. We have one such lady at the WI who is really quite objectionable.

Juliepat Sun 24-May-26 08:24:25

I hate being called Lovely or darling in shops. I have complained before now. There is no need to call me anything. Just be polite.

Calendargirl Sun 24-May-26 08:19:08

I don’t mind ‘love’, but not keen on ‘my lovely’.

Our female vicar uses that term, and I think it sounds fake, as if she can’t recall your name.

AGAA4 Sun 24-May-26 08:11:18

I don't mind being called 'lovely' round here. The only time I feel affronted is if someone calls me madam. So standoffish.

Esmay Sun 24-May-26 01:23:29

Darling and love ate common words of endearment .
I use them a lot because I called always recall someone's name !
I think I melted when a very handsome man from Newcastle called me treakle .

nexus63 Sun 24-May-26 01:23:26

i live in glasgow and would not have a problem with it, i have used it myself, sometimes when a man i don't know calls me darling i usually answer with sweetheart. in the small block of flats i live in, one lady calls me chicken and another calls me poppet. it is only a few words and people do it out of habit and don't mean any offence.

Redhead56 Sun 24-May-26 01:13:07

'Alright love' a usual expression in Liverpool we just take it it for granted. 'Darling' is the same it's not an insult don't over think it get over it.

pably15 Sun 24-May-26 00:46:37

I don't mind ,,,I could be called a lot worse..

JenniferEccles Sat 23-May-26 22:31:40

To me it’s worse if it’s worse if it’s followed by “you take care now”

Gran22boys Sat 23-May-26 22:17:59

Treebee

I have no problem with most endearments but I dislike ‘lovely’, without the ‘my’ and ‘hun’ which both strike me as insincere.

How I agree! If I get called lovely I am furious especially if it’s said by someone young. SO patronising.

Georgesgran Sat 23-May-26 21:40:01

Yes - it’s ’pet’ In Durham too. I don’t mind, better than others I could name.

Harris27 Sat 23-May-26 21:17:33

I’m a geordie and the careful call of ‘ pet’ is so usual in my area. Years ago it was love or hinny so be grateful for pet!

grandMattie Sat 23-May-26 21:09:50

I recently moved to Bristol and was startled to be called “my lovely” by locals. 😊
“Dahling” is so affected unless meant by family members or close friends.
“Love”is ok, unless repeated ad nauseam.