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On being called Darling and Love

(104 Posts)
Judy54 Sat 23-May-26 13:57:00

I have no objection to being addressed as darling or love except when it is on repeat! I recently met friends at a restaurant for lunch and was greeted by the front of house as hello darling. I said I was meeting friends and she said okay lovely lets see if we can find them, oh here they are darling. Taking our orders was the same we were all repeatedly addressed as darling or lovey, what happened to Madam? We felt that we were being treated as daft little old ladies, I may be little but am far from daft! Would you find this condescending?

Greyduster Sat 23-May-26 20:24:27

I don’t mind love - it’s a given here in South Yorkshire whether you’re addressing the opposite sex or the same sex. DH, who was Welsh, found it very hard to get used to! I only ever use ‘love’ with my nearest and dearest. I only ever called one person darling, but that chapter is closed now. I don’t like people using it to me in a casual way.

REKA Sat 23-May-26 20:27:22

Doesn't bother me at all. In fact I like it . They're just words. It's nice.

watermeadow Sat 23-May-26 20:34:01

This morning at the supermarket checkout I was called sweetheart then lovely in quick succession. I was delighted.

grandMattie Sat 23-May-26 21:09:50

I recently moved to Bristol and was startled to be called “my lovely” by locals. 😊
“Dahling” is so affected unless meant by family members or close friends.
“Love”is ok, unless repeated ad nauseam.

Harris27 Sat 23-May-26 21:17:33

I’m a geordie and the careful call of ‘ pet’ is so usual in my area. Years ago it was love or hinny so be grateful for pet!

Georgesgran Sat 23-May-26 21:40:01

Yes - it’s ’pet’ In Durham too. I don’t mind, better than others I could name.

Gran22boys Sat 23-May-26 22:17:59

Treebee

I have no problem with most endearments but I dislike ‘lovely’, without the ‘my’ and ‘hun’ which both strike me as insincere.

How I agree! If I get called lovely I am furious especially if it’s said by someone young. SO patronising.

JenniferEccles Sat 23-May-26 22:31:40

To me it’s worse if it’s worse if it’s followed by “you take care now”

pably15 Sun 24-May-26 00:46:37

I don't mind ,,,I could be called a lot worse..

Redhead56 Sun 24-May-26 01:13:07

'Alright love' a usual expression in Liverpool we just take it it for granted. 'Darling' is the same it's not an insult don't over think it get over it.

nexus63 Sun 24-May-26 01:23:26

i live in glasgow and would not have a problem with it, i have used it myself, sometimes when a man i don't know calls me darling i usually answer with sweetheart. in the small block of flats i live in, one lady calls me chicken and another calls me poppet. it is only a few words and people do it out of habit and don't mean any offence.

Esmay Sun 24-May-26 01:23:29

Darling and love ate common words of endearment .
I use them a lot because I called always recall someone's name !
I think I melted when a very handsome man from Newcastle called me treakle .

AGAA4 Sun 24-May-26 08:11:18

I don't mind being called 'lovely' round here. The only time I feel affronted is if someone calls me madam. So standoffish.

Calendargirl Sun 24-May-26 08:19:08

I don’t mind ‘love’, but not keen on ‘my lovely’.

Our female vicar uses that term, and I think it sounds fake, as if she can’t recall your name.

Juliepat Sun 24-May-26 08:24:25

I hate being called Lovely or darling in shops. I have complained before now. There is no need to call me anything. Just be polite.

SpinDriftCoastal Sun 24-May-26 08:30:16

I don't mind being called darling if the speaker is a soft or gentle person or someone who is trying to make me feel at ease. What I do object to is when someone superior and sniffy calls me 'darling' to patronise me. We have one such lady at the WI who is really quite objectionable.

M0nica Sun 24-May-26 08:40:28

What really gets my goat is being called 'Young lady'. Yes, it still happens. I am in my 80s, I am not young. It is patronising in the extreme.

Cossy Sun 24-May-26 08:42:18

Luckygirl3

I can live with it! I have a Geordie SIL who calls me pet!

I love pet!

I’m not that bothered, unless it’s said in a really condescending way, I can tolerate “darling” and “lovely” but not so keen on “dear” and “love” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Doodledog Sun 24-May-26 09:19:53

Like Wyllow, I find 'bless' is worse than names such as 'love', 'pet' or 'darling'. It's so condescending.

Wyllow3 Sun 24-May-26 09:28:09

I do say something whenever possible, Doodledog. Not when it's casual from a brief encounter, but definitely if it's people working within care services and similar, or someone I feel can understand my comments back. Made politely and carefully of course. Give them a chance to think twice.

LaCrepescule Sun 24-May-26 10:06:48

I was in a branch of Santander recently with my brother trying to sort out a new account. The advisor insisted on prefacing everything she said to us with “lovely.” I found it hugely unprofessional and patronising and walked out.

25Avalon Sun 24-May-26 10:13:51

“My lover” when I lived in Exeter. found it rather odd as an 18 year old but just accepted it as a regional idiosyncrasy. Then in Bristol it was “me babby”.

Samsara1 Sun 24-May-26 10:19:00

When we first moved to Leicestershire I heard 'me duck' a lot now not so much shame I liked it. Now I get lovely, sweet, and honey! I love being Madam especially when in Italy and France. Makes me feel smart and tidy which I am not.

Dottydots Sun 24-May-26 11:06:54

Well, I'm elderly and lonely, so I really don't mind how anyone addresses me, as it is usually spoken with a smile.

Astitchintime Sun 24-May-26 11:19:24

I can tolerate most terms but the one I absolutely hate is being called ‘hun’!