Have anyone ever hesitated to get help at home because of not much reassurance

My mother-in-law had two not very good cleaners found online - one a local well respected agency - and then found a gem through word of mouth - via a book club I think.

Honest, straightforward and hardworking but also a truly lovely kindly person.

Thank you Maria 🙏

What would have made you feel more comfortable taking that first step?

Personal recommendation is the most important I think in terms of trust - but as with any relationship it's not going to be immediate it creeps ip on you!

Good luck.

The last few months of my mother-in-law's life would have been massively more stressful (especially for us) if we hadn't been confident that her cleaner and carer were 100% sound!

Our gardener came as a one off to deal with a hedge and then took us on. He is not very imaginative and needs to be told what to do but is a really nice person. He recommended our cleaner who he had worked with at the home of a very elderly lady round the corner from us. I think if that hadn’t happened we would have gone to a longstanding local agency. DH still potters in the garden I still seem to have plenty to do in the house

I have a neighbour who I knew was hard-up and helped others with small jobs. When I got Polymyalgia I asked her to come and help with my housework. She’s still doing it 5 years later.
I pay her way over the going rate because she didn’t apply for the job, I asked her. She also looks after the cats when I’m away.
I didn’t need any reassurance about her, I assumed that, as a neighbour, she would be honest and kind and she is.

This post reads like research for a company start up.

Jaxjackyexactly what I thought and why I m not commenting

Thank you for replying — that’s exactly the kind of honest perspective I was hoping to understand better. I was trying to ascertain if anyone could point me in the right direction of how they (if they did) obtained outside help for their aging loved ones.
I also (if i need to apologise) for coming across robotic in my initial question, this is not because i am launching a start up or trying to extract information because it has now been 5 years nearly come June since my father passed away and we could have done with the help then (backend of covid etc), but instead asking now because my mother is starting to go down hill with her memory and recognition of those around her that it is now paramount that we have someone there daily to check up and relay the information accordingly. I also feel it's a small price to pay.
I’m looking into the trust gap around cleaning and home help, especially where families need support but feel cautious about letting someone into a parent’s or loved one’s home. I’m trying to understand what reassurance would genuinely help people feel more comfortable and how they would assess the help because her OT stated clearly the help is not there from that side of things.
I googled and found gansnet hence the reason i asked, apologies for coming across too corporate, however that was not my intention and again thank you for the reposes thus far.

You sometimes just have to put your trust in people.
I think within a short time you would know if that person is trustworthy, or capable.

I do not have a single lock on any of my doors or cupboards. I do have a lockable jewellery box, which I do lock sometimes. I have had builders , cleaning ladies etc in here. Not lost a penny’s worth of anything. I am a very trusting person.

My mother has carers from an agency , which was recommended to us. They do personal care and will do house work, but mum tells them that her daughter (me) will do it .
You just have to trust people .

A lot of people hiring care workers for family put up discrete cameras. That way you can check in anytime you want.

Awww thank you so much and i do get it and this is the reluctance to hire in help. My mum loves her independence and us being around her is so much reassuring for her than strangers, however we've arrived at a stage where my brothers and all our children are now finding it as a chore (not to be neglectful) but with busy lives, their own families and careers we are trying to find a balance to fill a gap. If that can come across humane, rather than selfish?

My mother had a truly wonderful cleaning lady. As she got a bit older and dementia started to rear its dreaded head, I honestly don’t know why we’d have done without her. A truly good person - I wasn’t surprised to see at her funeral (10 years after my mother’s) that the church was absolutely packed.

petra

A lot of people hiring care workers for family put up discrete cameras. That way you can check in anytime you want.

The best idea.It’s surprising how ‘ lovely, kind and trustworthy people’ can rob you blind if you can’t see what they’re doing.
Even if you don’t set up cameras make sure the person never leaves cash, cards or jewellery on show.

Jaxjacky

This post reads like research for a company start up.

Yes, the user name indicates this too.

I reported it hours ago but admin are obviously happy.

Sorry have i did something wrong by creating a user name i was trying to find out information about? Is this wrong,? ( it was the first thing i thought when trying to decide)

LookingIntoHomeHelp

Sorry have i did something wrong by creating a user name i was trying to find out information about? Is this wrong,? ( it was the first thing i thought when trying to decide)

It reads like market research.

Witzend

My mother had a truly wonderful cleaning lady. As she got a bit older and dementia started to rear its dreaded head, I honestly don’t know why we’d have done without her. A truly good person - I wasn’t surprised to see at her funeral (10 years after my mother’s) that the church was absolutely packed.

That’s what I think a cleaner that will go the extra mile.

Am i allowed to ask how you found such a person? I'm scared now to ask

petra

A lot of people hiring care workers for family put up discrete cameras. That way you can check in anytime you want.

Is that even allowed? I don’t think I could plant cameras in my mums house to spy on the cleaner!

LookingIntoHomeHelp

Am i allowed to ask how you found such a person? I'm scared now to ask

Word of mouth is usually the way to go, or ask for references.

LookingIntoHomeHelp

Sorry have i did something wrong by creating a user name i was trying to find out information about? Is this wrong,? ( it was the first thing i thought when trying to decide)

No. Just create a new user name & let us know that you was the person looking for help.
Let us know how you went one.
Hope you find someone marvellous 🙏

Sorry on! Getting now 🤦‍♀️

Late. Definitely off to bed now.