How to age with dignity

Welcome, Violetbynight. May you find much interest and comfort on Gransnet, as I have found.

Aging with dignity. The phrase brings back images of elderly grandmothers in widows weeds, a stick and lorgnette and a cowed and dispirited daughter who it was decided should look after mother when she got old.

Well, I am not widow, do not need a stick and prepfer glasses to a lorgnette, and the idea that it would be possible to cow or dispirit DD into being my dutiful compnaion in old age has me rolling on the floor with laughter.

I intend to age disgracefully.

However, despite having a different idea of old age to that of the OP, she is, nevertheless, very welcome as a new member of GN, where she will find that disagreeing with someone has never been allowed to spoil a beautiful friendship.

henetha

I did the pink streaks a couple of years ago. Most people seemed to like it.
I'm not sure that I'm very dignified really. But I'm trying to not become a 'little old lady' just yet.
Welcome, Violet. GN is marvellous. I hope you enjoy it.

henetha you little devil you😄😈
My BF always has deep purple chunks in her hair, never mind streaks ( which I think would look better tbh.)

Welcome Violet - you will love it here 🙌

I always feel sorry for people who dye their hair blue or pink. Makes me wonder what they're trying to prove or cover up.

Welcome violetatnight, you’ll find many different opinions here, many good ideas and lots of support.

As to dignity, I’ve never been dignified but I was a pretty competent person and I do resent the fact that my disabilities make me look a right idiot at times. I’m learning to accept that by degrees and on the plus side a meet a lot of kindness.

I celebrate getting older as I have lost too many friends who were too young.
I think the best way is to not overly care about how you look but to definitely care about how you feel.
Take HRT if the symptoms of menopause are affecting your life negatively.
Take an antidepressant if your anxiety (and depression) are limiting your experiences.
Take it all and enjoy life!

My hair, so far has been (a full head of) purple, blue and now is a vibrant red. I'm not trying to cover up anything or prove anything, I just like it like that.

I do remember way back when I was in my late teens I vowed I'd never have blue streaks put in my hair cos it's what 'little old ladies had'.

There we go

Hello VioletbyNight,Hope you feel welcome here , it's a great place to discuss things, and if you get anxious for your health there is a forum on 'Health'
Hopefully you won't need that and you'll be raring to go !

Aveline

I always feel sorry for people who dye their hair blue or pink. Makes me wonder what they're trying to prove or cover up.

Why should they be hiding everything. I am determined should my hair go white that I will diye it ginger red. Why? because I always wanted red hair, probably not ginger, but a girl at school had beautiful copper coloured hair and I envied it so much.

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My hair is purple, well a sort of lavender! Just makes me stand out from other grey haired old ladies. I’m often complemented on it and my DGSs love it.

M0nica

Aveline

I always feel sorry for people who dye their hair blue or pink. Makes me wonder what they're trying to prove or cover up.

Why should they be hiding everything. I am determined should my hair go white that I will diye it ginger red. Why? because I always wanted red hair, probably not ginger, but a girl at school had beautiful copper coloured hair and I envied it so much.

I am now ginger, because I too always loved ginger hair, and my first crush, when I was four, was the red haired boy who delivered our newspaper! I was delighted when my very dark brown hair began to go grey, so I could gradually apply the ‘light auburn’!
I do see women who look great with grey or white hair, but I don’t think I’d be one of them!

Rather than use the word dignity, I''d see it as "pride in self".
Self respect goes a long way in tough times.

Wyllow3

Rather than use the word dignity, I''d see it as "pride in self".
Self respect goes a long way in tough times.

And you are treated accordingly.

Welcome Violet tonight. I would love to be dignified, but being short and plump doesn't really lend itself.

I'd have a better chance if I were tall and willowy, with flowing garments instead of a top and leggings, but it's not going to happen.

I'm not actually bothered about the dignity bit. I want to read interesting books, tend to my tiny garden and see my daughters and grandchildren.

Sorry. Typo. Violetbynight

I find that I don't have the full connecting process of extrapolating as I used to. For example, if something needs to be done, I just do the basics and don't tie it up with the what ifs and 'may be'. I do my best to be social, neat, tidy, presentable, polite, etc but if it is not up to expected standard then I just don't care.

Welcome, Violetbynight. I hope that you find lots to enjoy on GN.

We older people in UK have been about the most fortunate of all generations. As babies or small children, the NHS was born and has given us free at the point of use medical care for most or all of our lives. Women were able to control their own child-bearing - even including not having any babies if they did not want them. For those who could and wished, higher education was totally free often with a grant being given. We received our old age pensions at 60 years and our free bus passes etc. We were the first generation where women were able to get mortgages in their own (or shared with partner/hubbie). Increasing amount of machines in our homes (washing machine, fridge, microwaves, etc etc) gave us all an easier domestic life.

I am just four weeks away from my 85th birthday. Yes I do have a multitude of physical problems, most being treated by the NHS. I use mobility scooter/electric wheelchair to get about. Own my own lovely flat and am able to live a totally independent life again, thanks to equipment there.

I am enjoying my life, belong to various interest groups, volunteer roles at several of these. Keeps me (and my brain) active and busy. I feel very fortunate.

I have five adult children, do see them and my grandchildren - but the last thing I want any of them to do is to be my carer. Just hope they will have a good a time in retirement as I am having. I have no car, no mortgage, no pets, no passport (so no foreign holidays) - and therefore can manage my finances perfectly well just state pension & Pension Credit< as for several years of my 'working life' I was a carer for my hubbie (MS), and also a parent to my six children and a foster parent, so reduced pension.

I think "dignity" is quite important. To be neat and tidy and make sense most of the time!

I was born in wartime and lived through all the privations that followed. I was born and spent my early childhood in London, my graandmother's huse was destroyed in the Blitz. All my eneration, and the Boomers lived through the Cold War, where we lived under the fear that every day could be our last one.

Employment now may be difficult, but do you not remember the 1980s when tens of thousands of people were being made redundant every week and British manufacturing industry was collapsing.

At that time I can remember having to drive from Reading to the other side of Hull for a business meeting in the mid 1980s I left home with plenty of time expecting the motorways to be as busy as I remembered in the 1970s and I was appalled to find how empty the roads were. Driving north past derelict industrial estates, one after the other, all tatty 'to let/for sale signs. I remember seeing children begging at tube stations in London. Something I had never ever seen before in this country.

In the 1990s there was another round of major redundancies, this time part hidden by encouraging older people, 50 plus, to retire later. I worked for a company that had to lose 75,000 staff as a result of a change in its regulatory regime. I was one of the over 50s who 'volunteered' for redundancy because I knew that if i did not, the moment the generous redundancy scheme ended, I would be out on my ear with a minimal pay-off. Then there were all the foreclosures and evictions and plunging house prices that ruined so many in the late 80s, early 90s. DD got on the housing ladder because the flat she bought in South London halved in price between 1988 and 1992. In 1988 someone paid £68,000 and sold it to DD in 1993 for £32,000. Houses were cheaper then because interst rates were so high. Do you remmeber mortgage interest being 10% plus?

Now I do not deny all the things Franbern said, but that was only half of the story. Our lives have not been a smooth untroubled path, with houses dropping into our hands for, we have had as many problems and diffculties as today's generation, just different and as we get older we tend to forget the bad times and remember the good, while the young only see the advantages we had and not the disadvantages.

I think sometimes there's too much attention paid to being dignified, dressing to suit our age and the like. Personally I know I'm guilty of this but occasionally endeavour to adhere to Jenny Joseph's philosophy and grow old disgracefully and why not?!

I was hoping for a Sex and Drugs and Rock.and Roll.retitement.

But this has been curtailed by lack of suitable men , limited income and arthritis.

But l am still.rnjoying life as much as l can doing things that give me pleasure or are entertaining.

Happy Retirement

🎆

I first heard Jenny Joseph's poem aged 20 and started practicing.
Gogol Bordello also inspired me dancing in the rain at Glastonbury.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOALdwGd34E
I'm 79 now and still enjoying life.