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Retirement is it what you thought it would be?

(87 Posts)
Sallywally1 Sun 10-May-26 10:07:10

I love having more time, but I do get lonely. I have a DH but he is out a lot. I have also struggled with severe arthritis which was unexpected. I am 71 and retired at 68. I try and exercise, but this is difficult because of the arthritis, which also deters me from voluntary work. I would not go back to work though!

Flakesdayout Mon 11-May-26 14:27:27

It is great. I left my job early due to workplace bullying so lived on my savings for a year. It was strange to start with and I still kept thinking I had work to go to Once I got into a new routine it is lovely. I see my grand daughters in the week, have joined a ladies walking group and go out where I want when I want and if I just want to stay at home I can. My day time is mine. My partner is still working so he arrives home each day at 5 so my evenings are not lonely. So for me retirement has been good, I no longer have the stress of being in work waiting to see what nastiness is coming my way.

Visgir1 Mon 11-May-26 14:22:13

I'm mixed about it. I do Child care a couple of times a week. I'm sorting out the garden, plus thinking of decorating the Sun lounge, I'm in and out most of the time. These are just jobs.

I don't feel I have any any purpose, I was a Clinical NHS professional /manager and retired last year at 70, spent many years helping to organise a big Cardiology unit. I'm now thinking I made a mistake leaving and giving up my registrations.

Lots of my chums are younger and still in work, so not around. I joined the WI, and have done a few things for them. I also went to check out the open day at the U3A, absolutely nothing floated my boat.
My DH does some Volunteering work, but I'm definitely not interested in joining him, he needs to do that on his own

So, I'm just spending time doing nothing.

Tooyoungytobeagrandma Mon 11-May-26 14:19:03

Its a 1000 times better!!! I retired a month after my divorce, I was 63. I had been with my Ex 41 years 20+ of which were miserable. He retired 3 years before me on a massive company pension but I had to wait for my Gov one at 66. Things were bad but it spelled the end for us. I was working ft, still doing everything around the house and he disappeared most weekends, life was miserable. So I petitioned for divorce hoping I'd at least have enough to pay rent or buy a small house with a small mortgage. Sold our family home and made a big profit which meant I could buy a small house. Once all the finances were sorted and I found out just how much he had hidden from me I decided that I would retire! I did my little end terrace up, sold it 5 years later at a profit and bought a lovely waterside apartment. Met a man 2 years after my divorce (ex had a new woman before we divorced) and we have just bought a property abroad and are in the process of doing it up. Im close to 70, my new DH (we married after 2 years) is mid 70s and we are are loving life. We go out most days, go to concerts, comedy shows, holidays and are making the most of whatever time we have left. We are not rich but careful so that we have funds to do the things we want to do. As for my ex he will never be happy, and even less so now that he had to "share" his hidden funds!!! Silly man if he had agreed to half the house I would have gone with that but his controlling nature made him block things time after time. So I gave my solicitor the go ahead to fight for me, and he did. So retirement was not something I had even considered but I absolutely love it, best time of my life (along with my late teens/early 20s when I young, free and single 😜).

WelshPoppy Mon 11-May-26 14:15:06

I do enjoy my retirement, even though it was due to ill health not choice. Since retirement my health has generally improved. I can do lots but hubby seems to have lost his oomph and that can be hard as I end up doing things alone as he likes to have everything set out in advance. Even going to the garden centre has to be planned and not spontaneous. But we're both still here so that's a bonus.

Lupatria Mon 11-May-26 14:14:53

I enjoy being retired - retired in 2007 - as I can do what I like when I like.
however i'm not enjoying the lack of finance since covid and the cost of living. despite recent rises in my pensions unfortunately I still seem to be living from hand to.mouth as my outgoings including income tax seem to be rising even quicker! and living alone (i do have a partner but we don't live together) i'm the only one paying the bills.
I will not give up my four-weekly visits to the hairdresser and nail bar - they are necessities!
and shopping trips once a week to meet up with a friend plus meeting them for coffee now and again means I do get out.
I am disabled but have a motability car so I am able to get out without too much difficulty but need to use a shopmobility scooter when visiting a shopping centre.
but all in all i'm enjoying life even though my children both went no contact so I don't see my granddaughters any longer.

KatyaStrings Mon 11-May-26 14:14:26

I didn't have any expectations as I have a rare form of vasculitis and was unsure how my health would hold up. As it happens, my wellness has improved dramatically since retiring, thanks to a combination of my aging immune system being less active, lack of workplace stress and being able to rest whenever I feel the need, rather than pushing through all the time. I spend a lot of my time painting and gardening - I've even taken on an allotment, which has turned out to be very sociable - and have also started to learn dreadful Spanish and how to play the piano badly. Such fun! Living my best life!

Doodledog Mon 11-May-26 14:14:16

I love it. I understand what people mean when they say they don't know how they had time to go to work.

I've never been easily bored, as I can always find something that interests me. Since retiring I have taken an MA in an area I knew I would enjoy (as opposed to a work-based subject), done up the house with new bathroom, kitchen, boot room and everywhere decorated. I've joined interest groups, and set up ones of my own, and make a point of getting out and about for lunch or coffee with friends.

My health isn't great and I can't walk far, so I want to keep contacts going as long as I can, in case it gets worse. I also do a lot of Zoom meetings (courses, classes and workshops) - again because my mobility makes it easier to pop to the study than go out. It is so much easier to stay occupied now that the world is available online!

I'm very happy with being able to get up and go to bed when I like, and to just potter about when I'm not doing anything more constructive.

knspol Mon 11-May-26 14:07:53

Westcoaster, I understand something of how you feel. I retired first and then a few years later so did DH so we relocated. We were never very out going except at work where DH especially had to do a lot of entertaining etc. we moved to a rural location with only 1 near neighbour and relished our time together for a few years before my DH passed away. Never took part in any of the nearby village clubs etc as we just enjoyed being together. Now a few years later, life is very lonely. Tried joining a village event and was more or less ignored so never tried again. Most of the time I'm OK but I know I do need some company and like you say the years ahead seem endless.

Knitter43 Mon 11-May-26 14:03:06

No it isn't. The first few years were good but then my husband died after a long and difficult illness. I did do voluntary work for a time but now suffer a lot of.limiting arthritis pain. I do have lots of interests and try to remain positive but some days that is not at all easy especially when you can't get out much. Thank goodness for friends, books, memories and modern technology. I have adapted as best I can to.living alone - you have to really but no this certainly isn't the retirement I hoped for but.you.just have to make the best of what life throws at you!

Matelda Mon 11-May-26 14:00:38

Will Harlow of Lifelong Mobility is a physiotherapist who specialises in helping the over 50s to improve and maintain their mobility. He has lots of videos on YouTube, and has helpful ideas for everyone, including people with arthritis and other limitations.

Gingster Mon 11-May-26 13:56:10

Retirement was great to begin with starting with a World Cuise when Dh retired.
We have a seaside cottage, so escaped as often as we liked.

Dh had a stroke and now has given up all his sports, has no motivation and cannot drive.

Last month I was stopped from driving due to glaucoma.
We are now in the process of selling our holiday home after 27 years.

So retirement isn’t quite the same now. I have many friends, hobbies and clubs , so I keep occupied but can’t leave Dh for long., We won’t be going away anymore and I miss the sea and countryside .

Make the most of your health every day.

Westcoaster Mon 11-May-26 13:52:22

No it’s not at all what I expected. My husband died after only a few years, so here I am. My life isn’t dreadful I suppose, just different.
I do some childcare and have some hobbies which take me out, but can only say that the years ahead feel endless.
Life, as they say, goes on … and on!

Madwoman11 Mon 11-May-26 13:52:02

For anyone who is lonely please try your local community centre as many have coffee mornings or lunches which may suit. Even if it's a short taxi ride it's well worth it

Diplomat Mon 11-May-26 13:46:44

My job became so stressful that retirement was such a relief and the grandchildren had just started to arrive, so I have been able to help and enjoy them. It is wonderful.

1summer Mon 11-May-26 13:45:37

I retired early as my husband took redundancy/early retirement and he wanted us to be together. At first I hated it and wanted to go back to work then got depressed thinking I was too old to get a job. I did settle down and we had 4 lovely years until first the pandemic and then my husband had leukaemia, 2 years of struggle and he died in 2022.
Since then I have found it hard being on my own, but end of last year I pulled myself together, have improved my health, lost weight and got fitter. I decided life is too short to be afraid and do a lot more on my own and say yes to lots of things I wouldn’t normally do.
I am off in 2 weeks on a solo holiday to the greek isles. Very much looking forward to it.

Romola Sun 10-May-26 16:41:14

We downsized and semi-retired when DH was 70 and I was 60. He still did some jobs which interested him until he got cancer at 77, and I did some language teaching and volunteered as a befriender. We had loads of fun and he survived the cancer for another 10 years.
The grandchildren live 100s of miles away so no regular childcare, just longer visits during school holidays while parents were working.
For me now, well you just have to make the best of things like all the other widows.

AuntieE Sun 10-May-26 14:16:44

I am enjoying it and not having to do an uncongenial job, and I am lucky in that I have no finacial worries, but I did not expect my husband to die aged 69 when I was 73,

So no, retirement cannot be said to be what either he or I had looked forward to, but it is still worth having.

Judy54 Sun 10-May-26 14:07:12

Yes when I first retired I did a lot of voluntary work, joined various clubs and met lots of people. However Mr J had only been retired for a few years when ill health struck which meant our plans to travel, socialise and get out and about were scuppered. We still do what we can together but unfortunately health issues do change the way that you spend your retirement.

Harris27 Sun 10-May-26 14:00:17

I’ve retired at Christmas and have gone back this week just filling in two hrs on a lunchtime so staff can get their lunches. I’ll see how it goes. But I have missed the company.

Cumbrianmale56 Sun 10-May-26 13:25:19

I can't retire until I'm 64 due to changes to my pension and starting relatively late at my current employer. The pension won't be anything great, although I do have considerable savings. My plans probably will be to keep as active as possible, have a foreign holiday every year, and get a Senior Citizens Railcard and have some first class train trips.
One thing I won't do is sit in front of daytime television. Deal Or No Deal is enough to get me out of the house.

Daddima Sun 10-May-26 12:47:50

Absolutely not! In the first place, it came about ten years before I expected it to, because of my ill health, which has left me
now unable to do the things I would have been kind of pencilling in for my retirement. The Bodach’s death has also obviously been a major factor, so, please, if you have anything you want to do, do it now, don’t wait!

Aveline Sun 10-May-26 11:57:40

I've done lots of things since I retired 11 years ago. Currently, my time is taken up by my involvement as a trustee of a small charity, being a simulated patient for medical student training and exams (I've 'had' so many illnesses!) and Aquafit three times a week followed by apres Aquafit!
Otherwise I read, eat and watch TV.

Primrose53 Sun 10-May-26 11:53:07

I wish I could enjoy it but my time is taken up with caring responsibilities, driving to hospitals, housework, cooking, tidying the garden, shopping etc.

We are away for the weekend but heading home early tomorrow as I have to get my son to chemo at lunchtime. I booked this break months ago when the chemo schedule was sorted. I arranged it so we could stay Monday too but one blip threw it all out.

I imagined long walks on the beach, cycling, eating out, our usual holidays abroad with my husband, meeting friends for coffee but that has all finished. I brought my crochet and a new book for the weekend but haven’t started either! 😥

Franbern Sun 10-May-26 11:17:49

When I retired, just prior to my 70th birthday - I thought I was well prepared for it. Had attended several courses/lectures.
Tried really hard for a couple of years, but then gave up and it was not working like I had hoped.
When i moved to my flat (150 miles from where I lived previously), at the age of 79 yrs - I decided to give it all second attempt - this time with less advance ideas of what i was hoping for.

Did not work out immediately, as just a few months after the move Covid hit. But once that past I joined my local u3a (very large one with lots of individual groups), volunteered with local library for the summer Reading Challenge (all done sitting down, so suits me). Took on role of Secretary to my own flats voluntary Management Cttee -meant i had to do a crash course in conveyancing law, etc. Joined knit and natter groups, and went onto the local Friends of Museum Committee.

So, now I have so much to do - I wake each day - welcome the fact that I am alive another day, and then work out what i have to do that day. I fell very happy, and useful to others and am really enjoying my life in every way - despite many health problems.

beachcomber76 Sun 10-May-26 11:12:48

Retirement is wonderful. Peace, freedom and every day is my own.
I've a few hobbies, a home and garden which I love and work hard to keep nice, a car to go out in. I enjoy walks nearly every day, in green spaces when I can.

Living on my own, but blessed with good health despite a chronic sleep problem. Lonely days sometimes, that's life.
Some days aren't great but I have deep gratitude and count my blessings every day.

I meditate, I daydream, I read loads, I lose myself painting, enjoy good TV, enjoy good food, enjoy using my laptop etc. etc.
Seeing a friend or family makes for a wonderful day.

I read health, psychology and philosophy articles, many verses and teachings from the Bible and follow some posters on social media who have taught me a lot too.

I've had a lot of stress, financial pressures, abuse, heartache and painful losses in my life and appreciate the life I have now 100%. I'm 77.