Why do I feel so guilty?

Wave and smile nicely at him, but stay put. You are not well. It must be very difficult for you to put past memories behind you in order to do that, but honestly, I’m quite sure you deserve a bit of me-time.

Stay exactly where you are! You don’t need to justify having a relaxing day . It is no one’s business other than your own.
FWIW, I spent Thursday morning in the garden, have to pace myself as mobility isn’t great. Planned on doing more yesterday but couldn’t get into gear so I had a lazy day crocheting and watching tv after doing basic tidying up, pot wash etc.
Just had two hours in the garden and now relaxing with a coffee, that’s me done for the day…….do I feel guilty ? No.

I agree, stay where you are. You have a nasty virus, so look after yourself.

I’m so sorry that you suffered so much during your childhood, but try not to let that impact your life now (easy to say, I know, but like everyone else, you are entitled to live your life your way as long as you are causing no harm, which you are not 😊).
It doesn’t matter what your neighbour might think, though I suspect he’s too busy doing his hedge trimming to notice, but if he does, it matters not. Just smile and wave and continue relaxing.

Take care, and I hope you soon recover from the virus.

As I’m typing this, I’m taking a breather with a coffee, if someone sees me, so be it 😁.

I spend hours and days of my life just reading or scrolling on my phone. I don't feel guilty at all. I'm just an idle besom. I've been busy in the past but I prefer this.

You’re obviously unwell Sago and you shouldn’t feel guilty having to take things easy. I can’t understand being punished for reading!!
I prefer to be on the go - it’s just my way - albeit a bit slower these days, but I do enjoy the odd ‘day off’. However, if I’m at home, I like to watch Countdown. It was awful when I had the builders here, there was no privacy and I’m sure they went home telling everyone I watched tv ‘all day’.

Hope you feel better soon.

I too feel guilty if I'm caught reading or relaxing during the day. I was fortunate to have a lovely mum, but the only time during the week that she relaxed was on a Sunday afternoon, after she had cooked a roast meal for the family. So I'm guessing that's where my guilt stems from, although I am getting better at daytime relaxation.

I'm so sorry to read of your difficult and sad childhood, but urge you to try to enjoy guilt free time on the sofa. Hope you feel better soon.

It's hard to overcome that conditioning Sago even after many years. I am just the same, I need frequent rests for health reasons but still feel the need to apologise to my husband for this. He has repeatedly told me to rest more and often tells me to stop and read a couple of chapters of my book. Why do I feel like this ?
Hope you feel better soon, stay put and give your neighbour a cheery wave.

Aveline

I spend hours and days of my life just reading or scrolling on my phone. I don't feel guilty at all. I'm just an idle besom. I've been busy in the past but I prefer this.

Oh, you and me both!

That’s so sad Sago our minds need stimulation as well as our bodies.
If you’re reading, ‘phone scrolling, mentally preparing the next meal you are not “doing nothing”.
My Father didn’t like my Mother reading but I wonder if he felt threatened that she may have gained knowledge beyond his own. He was not a reader.
Best wishes and I hope you feel better soon.

I’m with the others! Stay put and enjoy

I put James Martin on too this morning, first time since covid also!

I would shut the curtains

I get where you are coming from, Sago. In fact I nearly started a similar thread earlier. I came home to find DH sitting reading the paper and watching cricket and was, momentarily, outraged. Then it dawned on me that he is 80, only retired 8 years ago and is very active generally.

Sitting down and doing nothing is a rarity for me but I have no idea why. It wasn't encouraged or discouraged when I was a child - my mother wasn't interested enough.

Hope you feel better soon.

Aveline - sounds very like me!

I have a friend of similar age to me who seems to find it sinful to sit and do puzzles or whatever and sometimes I wonder if like the OP she was conditioned that way by her mother. I've known her since school and I know her mother was constantly cleaning the house so it could be the reason. (I think she probably thinks I'm a lazy B!)

Thank you, I have stayed put!

I have thrown more logs on and looking forward to the rugby.

My mother will be spinning in her grave…….good!

There’s an implication in some of these posts that
reading a book is doing nothing. It is very much doing something! Just as important as housework - in fact much more so. It’s always been seen as a virtue in my family. Housework is a boring if necessary evil.

My mother worked full time as a nurse and had few days off. When she was at home, she spent endless days cleaning the house which resembled a show house. One room was for guests and rarely entered. The other, where the TV was, was also rarely used. We lived in the kitchen!

I am the opposite, employing a cleaner and very like Aveline and others. I do a lot of washing, having been at boarding school we had a clean blouse a week and don't mention underwear! I go OTT for that reason I think.

Even I would have to move if being looked at.

But apart from that, I know I need rest and recouperation. Even in the best of times.

Part of the "bonus" of being ill, is to be able to do next to nothing and dont feel bad about it.

I spent the long summer holidays reading as a kid (due to the mainly rainy summers) and thankfully, my parents left me to it.
Now as I approach retirement, I'm looking forward to reading, Netflix (and the like) and maybe , a bit of gardening.....bliss!

Budge up …
#lazygran

I used to get chased out if I was reading when I was a child. My mum believed that going out to play was more important.
I downsized years ago and my little place doesn't need much cleaning and I don't feel too guilty sitting reading or doing puzzles but it's still there a bit.
You shouldn't think twice about resting if not well. It's what you need to get better.

Why is it so tremendously important to be seen as busy? Chatting to some friends who all claimed to be having very busy weeks, I asked what they were actually doing. Turned out it was nothing much, just a spot of cleaning and some food shopping. I just tell them of my TV based plans and they laugh and think I'm joking - but I'm not!

After we retired, I always felt guilty If I had a lie in,I was so used to getting up for an eight am start, and it took me a while to get into the way of getting up when I wanted.

We couldn't have a lie in. Our neighbour would ring (or worse, call round) to check we were ok if the curtain weren't open.

You have my sympathy Sago I’m the same. On top of the feeling guilty I’m a fidget. No hope for me. 😥