A simple Christmas thread, alone or with a partners - whether by choice, or necessity

The advantage of volunteering for a charity has its advantages if one truly needs to avoid really tough situations including loneliness

"Oh, I've offered to hep out X this year with their meals, terribly sorry, cant let them down...."

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

Christmas day is a big build up , only to be left feeling deflated by 6pm,

grandMattie

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

Can you do a compromise, grandMattie? I recall your loss when I used to pop into the Early thread for a while. Opening pressies and a meal, but with that ever useful line "gran's very tired now but we'll see her tomorrow" etc.

I love Christmas, it is my favourite time of the year.
I have 3 meals with friends arranged in November, December I have kept free, I love my real tree, food I enjoy and buying presents for close family, also have 3 birthdays close to Christmas, son, partner, Grandchild.
The above said, through choice, Christmas day will just be me and my partner. After that I feel its over, its all the lead up to me.
I don't spend a fortune either. Its a shame that some people only associate Christmas with commercialism. I am going to enjoy it.

M0nica
Yes of course, not all fake.
( but I’m worried I’m turning into Scrooge haha )

Since DH’s death I have been glad to host a couple of friends who would otherwise be on their own, but this year I may be home alone and really don’t mind- I have nearly sixty years of shared Christmases to look back on, many with a house full, including the years when DS asked university friends who were dealing with family rifts; I must say we all behaved better when there were other people in the house!

I shall see DS before and DD after the event, I expect, and will go with whatever flow is happening. And I will be glad to be spared the big shop and cook sessions!

Being a widow is tough. Even for a Pollyanna like me, I sometimes want to howl at the moon about my loss. So Christmas, with all its high emotion raises those feelings of loss.
grandMattie, we could arrange a virtual crying our eyes out because we miss them so much. Gransnet in the past had some cracking virtual get togethers, The huge space our loved husbands/life partners can’t be filled but we can find joy xx

MrB and I will spend the day together at home, going out for our usual walks and enjoying a few foodie treats.

Christmas is a difficult time for widows. You are reminded of what you have lost. There's always a large gap where he used to be.

The kids and partners, plus two adult grandchildren descend on me on Christmas Day, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love the cooking, prep etc and
seeing all their happy faces around the table.
One of these days when I’m old and crotchety they can cook me a Christmas dinner,

Big Christmas for us, possibly 14 people including three toddlers. My last but one; New Year's Day 2027 is when I'm going to officially Hang Up My Apron. And anyone who wishes to invite me to Christmas after that is very welcome to stick a microwaved ready meal on my plate, I shan't complain.

We’re spending Christmas & NY in Lanzarote. Having been in the licensed trade for a good number of years it makes a great change to have someone else do the waiting on. I also spent NY on call for my full time job for a lot of years so the downtime is very welcome. Red carpet and Gold carpet gala dinners on Christmas night and NYE respectively spent with friends we’ve met over the years go down a treat. We’ve been lucky with beautiful weather over the past few years so fingers crossed it’s the same again this year.

Husband & I on Christmas Day.
Boxing Day with my parents, son (his girlfriend is going to her parents) & my dads sister

M0nica Things do change, at Christmas, as in everything else and I can never understand why some people cannot just acept and adjust, especiaally at Christmas, the season of goodwill!

I agree.

Change is inevitable, one can't have everything they desire.

Perhaps accepting is a pleasant way forward.

Might try volunteering to help out at Salvation Army or the like.

DD said she did that last year, AuntieE (she's overseas) and thoroughly enjoyed it.

This thread made me think about doing Christmas differently so I've invited a couple of friends to join us on Christmas day,who went to a hotel last year. They may already have booked something but I realised it would be good to share our Christmas with them if they are free.

I will be alone again this Christmas Day but decided to have 2 nights at a seaside hotel with a spa and pool on the 21st and 22nd. Got a ticket for the afternoon panto too. A chance to see the lights and join in a bit. Surprisingly affordable.

Can I just point out that there is a world of difference between Christmas alone and Christmas with a partner as quoted on the thread title.
Oh yes, we can talk about housefuls of AC, GC , siblings or not, but the bottom line is that Christmas “just with DH” is not Christmas alone - as any body who has been widowed can attest.
In fact, you can have the extended family around you, but when the one you spent your life with is not there - you can still feel very alone.
#justsaying

Just me and DH on the day our DD and family will visit either the weekend before or after and we will probably do a video call on the day. A few years ago I invited a friend to join us for lunch, we were having a lunch delivered, the food wasn't up to much and I felt I had to entertain her as she was a guest. DH said we are better off just us. I cook what we like and too our timeline and crack open a bottle of champagne watch what we want . My DD sends us loads of messages and photos throughout the day. We love planning our menu and we usually get to have something a little different.

I have spent the last two Christmases with my son and this year I will go to my daughter, probably just for lunch which will be lovely. . If I stay over I can have a glass or two of wine and an evening of games which I enjoy but I am not that bothered. I still have to come home to an empty house at some point.

RosieandherMaw

Absolutely.
Christmas is never the same if you’ve lost you husband/ life partner. Doesn’t matter how many visitors you have.

Hashtag Rosiesmaw

Yes, the intention of the O/P is to suggest as upthread, a mainly "home alone and its a bit difficult" thread on C mas day itself for whatever reason - a "gransnet do" where we can be honest and accept each other.
This will include not only this of us who have lost a DH, but those who maybe in an estrangement situation, or whose illnesses make home alone inevitable.

BUT - I am aware that home with DH, if for example DH has dementia and is no longer "themselves", or relationships are really bad, may not be a bed of roses at all.

My personal situation is that I managed to get out of an abusive marriage with the considerable help of the police in 2022, and the knock on effect was so profound a depression that I was suicidal on and off for two years. During this bad marriage of course I was never really allowed to have friends and certainly collected none whilst depressed.

So I'm a lot better, but its still home alone, and I am aware of the range of reasons people are or feel alone well as other reasons for wanting a benign and kind "Get together" on c mas day.

it has been fascinating to read of others choices for Christmas Day alone, however. Hats off to the holiday takers and cruise goers and charity working!

grandMattie

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

Found this so moving grandMattie💐
Widowed myself, DD and DS come to me and say, don’t worry, we’ll cook, which they do, but I’ve still got all the mess etc…
DD is a Xmas enthusiast and as it’s so important to her, I’m pleased to go along with it. Late DH was like Father Christmas himself, open door to the world and loved every minute😢