Afraid to wear a dress

nannafizz I have similar problems with my feet and lower legs, both feet are puffy, lower legs are swollen and so is one ankle which has arthritis. I’m going to a large lunch party this week, in a marquee in a mown field. I’m wearing a dress and trainers and hoping no one notices my feet and legs or, if they do, I hope they won’t be rude enough to comment on them!
However, since a lot of the other guests are elderly, they probably will do! I’ll try not to care.

I've always had skinny ankles , they have got thinner as I've got older. I wear a maxi dress or a jumpsuit in the summer

Dresses don't suit me either!

Many people are wearing trainers with dresses, as I can't wear sandals or pretty shoes I wondered whether to by a dress and wear with trainers? Or does it look dorky?

Musicgirl

I have lipoedema, which distorts my lower body, especially my legs, which are enormous and totally out of proportion with the rest of my body. It has also affected my arms. I find dresses are the most comfortable form of clothing on a hot day. If others are offended by my arms and legs, too bad. I try not to expose too much of my body and generally wear an empire style, knee-length dress over leggings. However, if it gets too hot, l have been known to remove the leggings. I sometimes wear maxi dresses and skirts.

I’m a slim person but I have always had huge legs totally out of proportion with the rest of my body. I weighed 7 stone at one time but still had big legs. I bought a long cotton dress from Next but unfortunately it has a slit which shows my legs (along with their varicose veins). So I’ve bought some 3/4 length footless tights from Snag and some Mary Jane Crocs ( I live in Crocs). Because Crocs are quite chunky I like to think they balance my legs a bit. Whether I actually wear it or go anywhere in it all is a different matter!

This has been a really helpful thread, so thank you nannafizz for starting it. I’m self conscious about my legs because in the last couple of years my shins have developed very flaky skin (due I think, to medication for cholesterol and High BP, as I never had the problem before). I suspect that we all probably think that people notice our imperfections more than they actually do (they’re probably too busy worrying about their own and what others might think, perhaps?🤔). Anyway, it’s giving me food for thought, and thinking that some fresh air and sunlight might improve matters, so I might just dig those dresses out of the cupboard. I hope that you, too, nannafizz now have the confidence to go for it, as I’m sure we convince ourselves that others see/notice more about our perceived imperfections than they actually do.

Sorry, I seem to have repeated myself in that paragraph, but I’m sure you all get the gist o& what I’m saying 😁. (I do wish there was an option here for amending after posting as there is on other sites).

I understand your worries but honestly, I am sure that you will look lovely in a floaty dress, because you will be smiling with happiness at wearing it. I wear dresses, I show my legs, because I love wearing a nice dress and that is my choice.

Please don’t let what you think others may be thinking, soo you doing something that makes you happy. Here’s me, in a dress.

I like your boots! Snazzy.
Whst make are they?

My legs are like sticks, so no dresses for me …..

I’m just not a dress person. I do have a few I wear on holiday in the evenings and when going out somewhere special (which is rare these days) but no style really suits me. I am 5’ 4” just under 10 stone. I wear jeans in winter and shorts in the summer.

I’m quite shot and dumpy so I don’t think dresses really suit me, especially with the shoes I find most comfortable, mostly Sketchers. I looked better with heels but those days are long gone.
Can one really wear a dress with trainers for a smart occasion, at our age?

I wear dresses with brogues or loafers. I have never worn very high heels because I have dyspraxia and my balance is poor.

I have said it before and will say it again, people do not go round looking at people's legs all the time. With a dress on you hardly notice people's legs, good or bad.

I always think that you are as well dressed as you think you are. I have seen people look a shambles when beautifully dressed because of their lack of confidence in themselves, while others could look good in a bin bag, regardless of shape and weight.

I am putting my summer shorts in a bag for the charity shop as it is unlikely I will wear them again. I haven't worn them since Covid.
I used to have great legs but the past few years my ankles have caved in and are now so think my feet look like little flippers and I struggle to find proper footwear.
I do have some long skirts and dresses but mostly wear trousers and have several pairs of hareem pants that hide my ankles really well and are colourful and cool for the summer.
I only wear footwear with a small heel now too, never flats as they have ruined my feet and especially my ankles.
I agree this is a great thread and glad it isn't only me that has this problem!

I can say with some certainty that I would not look good in a bin bag😊, but I do agree with your other points.

I am sure people do not notice, or would certainly not be so rude as to comment (although reading some posts on GN one has to wonder🙄)

But in any case - so what - wear your dress with outward aplomb, even if you don’t feel it. And remember most people are not totally confident.

Life is for living, and at our age we have to make the most of it.

As others have said ‘go for it’! I’m sure you’ll look fine in a dress, maybe source some comfortable sandals that support your feet, paint your toe nails, wear some beads and bangles.
I’ve just got back from Greece where the ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes were looking great in dresses.
Have fun.

Jeans or leggings with floaty tops. Legs covered up but you get your fix of floaty!

I'm with the other posters here * nannafizz*
A midi dress, fake tan, and comfy sandals/ trainers is a good choice.
Choose a dress that makes you feel good, wear with a smile and enjoy.
Love those shoes, Smintie .

I met a friend for coffee recently who is extremely self-conscious about her legs for most of the reasons given on this thread, she was complimentary about my dress saying "I'm so envious" and explained her hangups.

I showed her my legs, they look like salamis and I said "These are my working legs 🦵 ". (In other words, the pretty dress was what caught her eye).

I will however now be trying some of the self tan moisturisers mentioned! Thanks!

I think if I appeared in a dress all my friends would wonder who the heck I was!

Who cares what anyone else thinks?!

They're your legs, not theirs!

Go for it!

And if anyone says anything nasty - eat them!

Can one really wear a dress with trainers for a smart occasion, at our age?

Definitely! There are some very smart trainers out there these days.
Have a look at Hotter if you like their stuff, they have lots of different colours. Or maybe silver?

At the two weddings I've been to in the last year, the brides were both wearing baseball boots under their extremely elaborate dresses 🙂

Smintie love the dress and you are an inspiration for anyone of any age who has a false limb. Hope you feel proud as you should be .

I know even in this day and age people face discrimination if they are different. I was born disabled I have all my limbs they just don't work like they should but it doesn't stop me doing what I want. I have a dress but trousers are easier for me to deal with plus I fall over and no one wants to see my knickers 🤣

Forgot to say love the snazzy boots

It is often said that we become fairly invisible after a certain age. I find this rather comforting in a way because it proves that the vast majority of people could not care less about our arms, legs or even what we are wearing. We are not as important as we think we are. We always had a struggle to get my grandmothers to take their tights off in a heatwave. They had all the worries that have been put forward in this post. It took a long time to convince them that no one was interested in their legs. In many ways, the thirteen year old girl with a spot on her nose is still lurking inside us.

I don't often wear dresses, but I did buy nice new one this year. Sadly, it's a tad too tight so I'm now dieting so that I can actually do the buttons up. But it's too cold at the moment for dresses.
Am I ever actually going to wear it?