Gut instinct

For me it's not a matter of judging it's an instant instinctive thing.

silverlining48

I don’t think I have ever taken an instant dislike to someone I have just met. I don’t judge until I know people better, unless they were abusive or downright rude I would.

I agree with this. I get to know people first.

However, it does work both ways though and I can meet someone and like them straightaway. No pause for thought, I just like them.

I get an inner warning, difficult to explain, particularly in a group of people, so I ease back and observe quietly, when I’m usually quite gregarious. MrJ notices and comments later; I'm usually right.

I have very good intuition which has served me and my family well, nothing about liking or not-liking. It has alerted me to dangerous situations involving people

My gut instinct is instant. Class, accent, money etc don't have time to draw attention to themselves.
I think there must be some deep instinct similar to the one that makes us wary of snakes and spiders.

I am usually "neutral" mode when I first meet people and I wait to see how they pan out before I decide one way or another.

I watch their body language, watch how they lead their lives, etc and then I make up my mind. Guess I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to people until they show their "true colours" one way or another. I tend to feel people are more likely to like someone of a similar background to them - and that doesnt give someone from a different background to them a fair chance imo. Before now I've more than once watched someone obviously favour someone else they'd just slapped eyes on for the first time - because that person is clearly from same background and I'm not (yep....I was quietly livid the time a customer in front of me had an incident involving me and the till assistant took the side of Mrs In the Wrong and I could see clearly that it was because they were obviously similar to each other - and I thought that was extremely naughty of the assistant).

I will/have formed relationships of one description or another with people all the way through the spectrum from very obviously "working class" through the middle class up to one occasion realising (belatedly) the foreign guy I'd been dating for months had the same surname as the (very large!) royal family of the Middle Eastern country concerned and spotting the evidence at the time I chucked him that his family were clearly VERY VERY wealthy indeed. So I won't judge for a while - until I've had the chance to see them "in action" for some time.

The sort of thing that will turn me against people, for instance, includes a work colleague I was still in neutral mode about until she told me that she was planning to have a 2nd child with her husband without getting his agreement first. They'd had a mutual first child (who was some years old at that point) and I specifically remember her saying she'd decided (on her own!!!!!!!) to have a 2nd child (blow what he felt about it!) and she would have her child and then divorce him and include telling him he was to pay maintenance for "her" child (no. 2), as well as "their" child (no. 1)!!!!! Poor guy was due to be ordered by a court (if her plans came to fruition) for a child he'd had no say about whatsoever. My opinion of her was formed at the moment she said she planned to make "their" decision all on her own and go and conceive against his wishes - and I'd changed from neutral about her to "dislike/disapprove of her" as soon as she said she was going to go for deceiving him and then expecting him to pick up the tab.

And I picked up on Jimmy Savile too. I'm often bewildered why certain TV celebrities/personalities/performers are adored when I get a bad feeling about them.

I get a gut instinct when I meet people who are 'off', and I feel I should keep them at arms length. In the end I'm right.

Twice in my life though I've given the person a chance/many chances/ the benefit of the doubt/made allowances/berated myself for being judgmental...and been proved I was right all along. I should not have had anything to do with them as my life was upset a lot by both. Lessons learned.

I have heightened awareness I think due to events in early childhood which gave me strong survival instincts and great awareness around atmospheres.

Talking of instant dislike and people who make your skin crawl, I think my prime example is Jimmy Savile. I could never understand why people thought him funny, likeable and even a national treasure. Certainly proved right on that one: the “vile” in his name says it all.

TwiceAsNice

I’ve done this all my life, I’ve only been wrong once . I know on first meeting whether I like someone or not . Always trust your instinct

Me too. Even my family say I'm never wrong.

I used to live next door to a lovely couple in their 2nd marriage.
One year they decided to rent out the house next to us and go to live in her smaller house.
They had several lovely tenants who caused no problems.
Then they rented to a couple with 2 labradors.
The lady came and introduced herself.
I took a dislike immediately...not usual for me.
They never walked the dogs, letting them soil their patio
One morning we woke to Police cars and radio people next door.
Apparently he was an illegal money laundering in the guise of local good guy and kids football coach.
He went to prison and we soon had new neighbours.
I knew they were badduns!!

I'm another one that follows my gut instinct and am rarely wrong. I totally agree with GinJeannie, i don't just listen to the words, i watch the body language and the eyes.

I have a gut instinct that tells me when people don’t take to me!

I'm exactly the opposite. I realised long ago that if I take an instant like or dislike towards someone then I'm always proved wrong.

Observing body language is often a good way to decide if you like or dislike a person

I get a gut reaction to someone, and then wait to see how it pans out. My gut instinct is rarely wrong.

No. I’m totally hopeless. If they act as if they like me I’m putty in their hands until eventually I see the real person. 😱

FriedGreenTomatoes2

No, I’m rubbish.
I try to find something likeable about everyone. I make allowances when possibly I ought not to. I’m too trusting and I suppose a bit naive.

Himself is a very good judge of character. He has an excellent BS radar whenever we meet someone new, so if we meet someone new together, I do take heed if he has concerns as he is a good judge of character.

Same here.

silverlining48

I don’t think I have ever taken an instant dislike to someone I have just met. I don’t judge until I know people better, unless they were abusive or downright rude I would.

I agree with you. I try never to be judgemental. It scares me.

Frequently - unfortunately (or fortunately) I never backtrack to take the time to find out about the person.

I treat as I find until someone gives me a reason to dislike them. That said, there are just people you warm to instantly and others where it takes time.

Sometimes your gut instinct is correct. I have tried, recently, not to let my gut instinct tell me what is right or wrong. Each and every time I should have followed my gut instinct.

I don't usually easily dislike someone. They have to prove they are nasty.. but many years ago when my DD was about five I was chatting to a neighbour and she was pulling at my hand. She wasn't usually like that but she told me she didn't like that man.
It was a few years later that he was arrested for sexually abusing children.
My DDs instincts were spot on.

I’ve done this all my life, I’ve only been wrong once . I know on first meeting whether I like someone or not . Always trust your instinct