Overheard at the Leisure Centre

I think married people lie to each other all the time, and maybe that's why they stay together? I think honesty killed my marriage

I agree with kittylester - that’s not a good basis for a good marriage. I (we) value honesty and respect - and humour and love……

We have two men in our walking group who are clearly very under under the thumb. One starts to panic after two hours and says if he’s much later he will “get into trouble”. The other one never joins any of our evening socials as he says he’s “not allowed”. Is it really worth being married if you are so controlled? And if it were me, I certainly wouldn’t admit it!

Everybody lies. And those who say they don't are lying to themselves.

Babs03

I’d just be glad my OH was out from under my feet for a while. Is no big deal. Whilst he was out pretending to play bowls, she could very easily have been lounging at home with a friend eating choccies and quaffing Prosecco. Only to put on an harassed look when he returns and say she has spent the whole afternoon slaving away.
Little white lies often keep married couples from killing each other 🤣🤣

😁very true

Olivia51

We have two men in our walking group who are clearly very under under the thumb. One starts to panic after two hours and says if he’s much later he will “get into trouble”. The other one never joins any of our evening socials as he says he’s “not allowed”. Is it really worth being married if you are so controlled? And if it were me, I certainly wouldn’t admit it!

Astonishing isn’t it? Where do women find these men, I want one!😆

Some bowls matches can take place every day of the week.
Was he going out every day. Was she fed up of being on her own.
Having to do all jobs at home. Did he help out or just go bowling.
Context is everything. Sad that he had to lie.
But we have only a small snippet.

Another Velcro couple.

This is obviously a long time ago.
My Godmother was crippled with RA.
Not much treatment was available then.
She was in constant pain and her hands were gnarled ,she could hardly do anything.
Her H who I called Uncle was a lovely man and looked after her so very well.
His only outing after retirement was to go to watch Derby County play football every week , home or away, all through the football season.
After my GM died it transpired that he had never been to football at all.
He had been having an affair for years and he very soon married her.
They had both been happy with the arrangement and had been prepared to wait it out.
I admired them both for that.

Living life best way he could eh utbb?
That’s one story that I know will lodge in my brain forever!

ViceVersa

MayBee70

Good for him I say. Why should she stop him from doing something that he enjoys just so he can ‘be with her’. How selfish. People shouldn’t be joined at the hip.

Yes, I agree.

Me too. Each to their own, but I never understand those couples who have to do everything together. My parents did, after my father retired, and TBH I think it made it that much harder for my mother after he died.

This is my thinking on the matter: What a waste of sandwiches and a waste of time for whoever made them.🙂

……..and so much for Derby County FC. Usedtobeblonde😅 don’t really “do” football myself but “Up the Rams!”

I have a family of followers Grandmaderby even if they are on the bottom of the league.
I think their fortunes will change now🙁🤭

Lathyrus3

Just me then.

I’m not very good with pretending and lies. Rather have it all out there 😬

If she can discuss amicably I would agree. But presumably they have discussed it already and his preferences have been ignored.
Often his sort of behaviour is the only way to cope with passive aggressive people without resorting to potentially destructive ultimatums. Whatever the background, it's very sad.

Wonder what else the man isn't allowed to watch unless he's taking part eg football, tennis, F1, a choir singing, children playing. For goodness sake let the man have friends and an interest.

That's hilarious 😂

At least he wasn’t making excuses to go to the pub or other possibly less savoury activities

Ah well. I didn’t take to either of them. It felt to me like he was getting as much or more pleasure from having fooled her as he was from watching. Laughing together about it. Naughty boys.

But I did say at the start I know I see things different from the majority. Lies don’t seem to bother most people as much as they bother me.

Gwyllt

At least he wasn’t making excuses to go to the pub or other possibly less savoury activities

You see there isn’t any difference to me.

It’s the deception that matters, not the activity.

DH is going to visit his friend tomorrow, long drive. I wish he’d go more often as I’ll have a nice long day at home to myself.

People do need space from each other, I think I’d go mad if I didn’t have time to myself so I go out quite often as DH likes being at home. I play a lot of bridge so out for 3 or more hours a few times a week.

We’ve been married for 55 years and do we tell each other little lies, I know I do particularly when he asks me how much money I’ve spent😁

Lathyrus3

Just me then.

I’m not very good with pretending and lies. Rather have it all out there 😬

I think you have to be reasonable then. Why should it be ok for him to play but not ok for him to spend the same time watching? I'm going to bowls should cover it but if she won't settle for that it's on her.

Granmarderby10

This is my thinking on the matter: What a waste of sandwiches and a waste of time for whoever made them.🙂

Well they aren't wasted if someone who needs them is enjoying them.

Without knowing the complexity of his marriage how can we judge? I challenge anyone who says they have never told their partner a white lie

Lathyrus3

Ah well. I didn’t take to either of them. It felt to me like he was getting as much or more pleasure from having fooled her as he was from watching. Laughing together about it. Naughty boys.

But I did say at the start I know I see things different from the majority. Lies don’t seem to bother most people as much as they bother me.

See this would bother me more, laughing at having fooled her. That would hurt.

Surprised at all the people believing the men’s stories of being controlled when I highly suspect it’s the other way around for a lot of them, particularly the one cheating on his wife. What an amazing man he was

I don't understand why anybody would want to play bowls. It's such a tedious game