Struggling to drive

I feel for the OP, but I think the comments on here show concern for her safety and that of others.
I’ve driven for a long time, but if I came on GN and posted that I, as a long term driver, was experiencing the concerns the OP has, I’m certain the advice would be to stop driving.

Retroladywriting

argymargy

MyLo has said she can’t be in a car with a stranger - presumably this is why taxis don’t suit her needs.

In that case, how on earth is she having lessons?

Her test examiner will be an absolute stranger

argymargy

MyLo has said she can’t be in a car with a stranger - presumably this is why taxis don’t suit her needs.

In that case, how on earth is she having lessons?

sending = demanding

NotSpaghetti

Surely, at the moment, MyL0 is exactly like every other new driver.
If she can't get to grips with it she won't pass her test.

Nobody needs to be rude and judgemental.

Yes, you’re right . hopefully the test does weed out those who aren’t safe n the road. I don’t know how sending it is nowadays.
I took mine in Inner London and then I was confident to drive anywhere!

I guess I was reflecting on the number of drivers on the road who really don’t seem to have the awareness or skills to cope. I drove only 40/mikes yesterday there and back and the poor driving and potential for accidents I saw was quite alarming - mostly unawareness and hesitancy rather than recklessness.

Surely, at the moment, MyL0 is exactly like every other new driver.
If she can't get to grips with it she won't pass her test.

Nobody needs to be rude and judgemental.

I couldn’t agree more, Lathyrus. The OP’s inability to deal with her finances without help and her fixation on her hobbies to the extent that she can’t care for herself to the point where she has to be reminded to eat don’t show that she has the mental agility to respond with the speed essential for safe driving. If her instructor has told her that she is staring rather than looking that’s not a good sign.

Until anyone has achieved complete control of the car they are a danger to themselves and others. That’s only the first step!

Then there’s all the other awareness and anticipation and reactions you need. It’s a mental skill as well as a physical one.

Personally from this and other posts I don’t feel the OP should be on the road. I think all that’s required to drive safely is too complex for her to process in the split second decisions that are part of driving nowadays. Other traffic, pedestrians, signage, road conditions as well as control of the car.

I think that about other conditions such as Alzheimer’s or even just the slowing of thought processes that happens as people age. Driving nowadays is more about all that’s happening around you and how you react to it than about just you and your car.

MyLo , this is not a campaign to drive you off the road it is a matter of the safety of everyone - including you! A moments innatention could prove disastrous, this does no bear thinking about. Bluebelle is absolutely correct!

I understand your situation, however I don't think you should be driving. In my experience sometimes the DVLA do give people the all clear to drive when IMO they shouldn't!
My DH has been told by the DVLA he can continue to drive - I disagree with this decision and am doing my best to stop him driving!! A person may have permission from the DVLA to continue driving but this does not mean that person is proficient behind the wheel! I am continuing in my endeavors to stop my DH from driving - and I will succeed!! It is not an easy task , my DH is convinced he is a good driver , he has driven all his life and has a clean record. I have wrestled with my conscience about this but know I am correct - I sit in the passenger seat and only I know the true situation. Things are moving now in the right direction and it is only a matter of time before he is no longer driving. I feel incredibly guilty but needs must! He has no idea I have spoken to our GP and instigated a driving assessment. We have a date for that and I doubt he will be successful. It's a nightmare but the so is Alzheimer's Disease!!!!
MyLo , I fully recognize you are in a very different situation from my DH but please think very carefully about whether or not you should be driving.

Thanks, crazyH.

Thinking some more about your issues MyL0, I wonder if a simulator would help you to get past some of the teething problems. This webpage Conquer Driving looks useful:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_xD6cdVZzo

and has lots of other advice about learning to drive. If you feel you cannot take more lessons than you are currently doing, something like this may help. Simulators aren’t cheap to buy but there may be centres where people can go and hire by the hour perhaps in a private room where there is no disturbance from other people.

The same website also has this about clutch control:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1SBFfMbksI&list=PLnM8RR0dumubFUMfOPgYQUUY1vTDtnGLI

and clutch control uphill:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctGGtR9HS4&list=PLnM8RR0dumubFUMfOPgYQUUY1vTDtnGLI&index=4

That said, there is no substitute for real-life practice with a professional instructor. Those skills will come for most people.

I hope you persevere as a car will give you so much more independence.

I do use public transport more now that I have a bus pass but I find it stressful too. The press of people and their noise, especially nowadays with people speaking loudly into mobile phones, watching online content with no headphones and every toddler given a device to amuse them. Babel on wheels.

Barleyfields

I am very surprised that you are receiving funding for driving lessons, which are very expensive.

Funding for disabled people to learn to drive is available through The Mobility Foundation. For people who meet the criteria.
The OP obviously does meet the criteria, (and be considered safe) otherwise he /she wouldn't have been awarded funding.

If you are having professional lessons (albeit free of charge), why not ask your instructor what they think about your abilities. They are in a much better position than us to judge your ability and your potential to be a safe, competent driver.

It appears, from your original post, that you are dangerous, but how can we judge without sitting beside you - and without having the safety net of dual controls (they do have dual controls, don't they - I do hope so!).

A prime example why foot control is so important
My son had slowed down, indicated in good time and was stopped waiting to turn into our drive. He is always cautious as it is on a bend on a busy road An elderly driver failed to slow and went into the back of him. As his witness verified As he drives a pickup he was fine but hers was a write off The driver gave the reason that her foot slipped , she was shaken but OK
I don’t know if she is still driving

Silverbrooks to answer some points
I don’t think it’s being nasty to point out that this lady with her VERY complex needs and her difficulties in learning to drive and having ONE lesson a fortnight should probably not really be on the road and certainly should be talking to her instructor if she wants advice on what she is not managing or needs extra help with, not a group of unknowns
It isn’t a thread about how can I boost my confidence on the road it’s asking specific questions taking about wanting to press down on the pedal inappropriately and recognising This is really dangerous she also says she can’t park on a hill or between cars as she may hit things ! She has according to her other thread been using taxis all her life and gets funding to cover these extra things
With the ‘road’ issues she has explained perhaps she should be learning off road until she improves a lot more I am thinking if the safety of others not of being nasty to a poster

I agree with Silverbrooks - nothing beats the convenience of having a car .
However, I have decided to stop night driving - I only drive locally and fortunately, all my family live in the same town.
MyLo needs more confidence and perhaps some counselling

Read the thread.

OP has explained why they find using public transport difficult.

Why are so many people trying to tell this person how to live their life?

They are taking lessons and asking for advice to get past the nervousness that most learners feel at first in controlling the clutch.

They are with a professional instructor and aren’t going to pass their test unless they can become conversant with this so why all the “get off the road” the hysteria from some of the respondents here?

People keep saying use a taxi but taxis are expensive and only really any good for getting from A to B. What if someone wants to go out and go from A to B to C to D to E … Nothing beats the convenence of having a car to go where you want to when you want to.

argymargy

MyLo has said she can’t be in a car with a stranger - presumably this is why taxis don’t suit her needs.

argymargy in her previous thread MyLO said she uses taxis all the time
Quote I can’t drive and rely on taxi

MyLo may be being a bit dim but have you been driving for years or just learning to drive. Either way stop. Driving is not for you . You are not only putting yourself in danger but others. If you are taking lessons then your instructor should tell you driving is not safe for you .

There are things called buses besides taxis you can use. You say you can't get in a can't get in a car with a stranger but why? I always have to sit in the front of a taxi and using a taxi or going out with family or friends they have to put my legs in for me . And I get talking and journeys take no time .

MyLo has said she can’t be in a car with a stranger - presumably this is why taxis don’t suit her needs.

Taxi, Taxi, Taxi - you're paying someone else to deal with the stress of negotiating modern traffic and all the problems! Well worth every penny, and don't I know it.

Ignore the last line - I don’t know what I was going to say 😂

I heard this joke - a man bought an automatic car . He rang the
Salesman the next day and said ‘I have a problem with this car - i am unable to drive it in the night. I put the gear on N for night and nothing happens. But in the day it drives beautifully - I put the gear on D for Day and it starts beautifully. . The salesman said , Mr X , the D is for Drivr , the N is for Neutral. You car won’t move, she finally falls t Ames

Ours doesn't have a hold button either.
I'm another who switches between manual and automatic too.

No hold button on my automatic either. Just keep foot on brake at traffic lights so it doesn’t creep forwards. I’ve had automatics for over 25 years and they’re a doddle to drive.