Visitors popping in on off chance.

I love people dropping in and prefer it to making arrangements which so often change or fall through.
We have a couple of community cafés in our town where you'll often find me if I'm not at home around 10.30am. I was out having a cappuccino today and met several people I know for a brief "hello"

Have to admit, don't like people popping in, and wouldn't pop in to anyone either. I am not a naturally social person and like to prepare

Oh, this struck a chord. I was brought up in a small, close community and were were always 'dropping by'. In fact if you were going in a certain direction it was almost rude not to call in!
DH, brought up in a London suburb of folk who hardly knew each other has always been horrified by this.

Most people I know do give notice, but I never mind if they don't. I have some elderly relatives who often 'drop by' and it infuriates DH, who is always too polite to say anything! He does understand the different norms (we couldn't drive by the end of the road without coming to see how you are) but really dislikes it!

In Grace Nichol's wonderful Wherever I Hang Me Knickers she says this:

And is so, little by little
I begin to change my calypso ways
Never visiting nobody
Before giving them clear warning

It makes me laugh as a poem generally, but also the thought of me (pure English peasant) having my customs decribed as 'calypso'

I have no problems with people dropping in. Good job I don’t as it happens all the time. It it’s close to dinner time they are invited to eat.
It’s not as if they think I have nothing better to do as they know me so well.
So far this week I’ve been interupted 🙂 painting a floor standing mirror, gardening ( that’s always ongoing) and finishing off the curtains the curtains I made.
I have a lot of energy 😁.
Nearly forgot my partner is laying a new decking and path.
The only reason I’m sitting here is because the rowing is on.

I think it’s nice that people want to see me, and I’m happy if they drop by.

I don’t, however, feel at all obliged to stop what I’m doing (if it’s important or urgent, I tell visitors they can wait and how long, help, or leave) or to change other plans to fit round them. I might do things because nattering to the visitor is more fun, but don’t feel bad if they don’t - there will be another time.

RosiesMaw2

I do like enough notice to quickly tidy the sitting room (which Rosie enjoys trashing), checking the cloakroom is respectable and the kitchen surfaces clear.
Why don’t I keep these perfect anyway?
Well, “dust if you must…”
(It can also depend on who the unexpected visitors are)

Somehow, they never come when you have just cleaned up, it’s always when it’s ready to be done and looking at its worst!

PS I do like to keep the spare rooms made up and tidy(ish) so that I can offer a bed for the night without major disruption

I do like enough notice to quickly tidy the sitting room (which Rosie enjoys trashing), checking the cloakroom is respectable and the kitchen surfaces clear.
Why don’t I keep these perfect anyway?
Well, “dust if you must…”
(It can also depend on who the unexpected visitors are)

HattieTopper1

I must be honest, I hate people just dropping in on me I think it is bad mannered. I also have a friend who peers through my window and taps on it shouting yahoo, I am here. She comes all the way from Doncaster to do her shopping in my town then decides to come to me for lunch because she is too tight to buy her own.

The last time she came I was up to my elbows in painting the garden gate, wearing old clothes, had not had my morning shower as I was going to get one later after painting. I had to drop everything and start preparing lunch. She ate her meal and then said, I have got to go now and off she went.

I installed a security camera in my front window and attached it to my tablet so when I see it is her I ignore it. Then she rings me to tell me she stopped by and I said I was out and she had to ring in future before coming, but she never does so I never answer the door to her. I call her my friend but she is just someone I know through someone else who has now moved away.

I am mean aren't I.

Get a ring doorbell, then it’s up to you if you answer the door. I don’t like people turning up un-announced, that’s my plan anyway to get a ring doorbell when I get round to it

No, I would hate visitors coming unannounced. Don’t mind my adult son, DIL or GC’s dropping in, not that they do really, but certainly don’t want anyone else.

My sister and brother in law are staying nearby soon, and they will come for lunch one day, but that is pre-arranged.

Can remember when I was young relatives coming to visit unexpectedly on Sunday afternoons. Mum always had tins of salmon to make sandwiches, then tins of fruit and evaporated milk for afters, plus always some jam tarts or similar.

They obviously came for a matter and a free tea. Not much else to do back then, and dropping in on people seemed the ‘norm’.

🫖🥪🍰

when I was in my 30's with young children friends would call in every day.. in fact my door was never locked so they could make a drink even if I wasn't there.. all my friends had open houses..
How different it is today.. always appointments made for meetings or visits nowadays.. I miss the old days but I everything changes..

I agree that my grown children and grandchildren are the only exceptions here.

I can't stand it, unless it's one of my children.

I always feel (probably unjustly) that people pop in because they've nothing better to do.
Then they soon disappear when their partner is due home, or whatever, leaving me to tidy away whatever I'd been planning to do, and "all behind".

Am a bit of an introvert so someone popping in is a no no, also I agree that this is rather rude, unless this popping in is agreeable on both sides. Sometimes I am just slopping about at home in my old joggers and vest top, hair akimbo, so someone just popping in might get a fright.
I also wonder if these unannounced guests are also the kind that outstay their welcome?
Am turning into a grumpy old git am sure😂

I'm an untidy madame! so prefer notice of visits so I can tidy up, I feel more relaxed to enjoy the company, rather than worrying about the dust/doghairs and books and magazines all over the place!

I love it when people pop by unannounced but it rarely happens these day. When I was younger it was normal. Most of us didn't have phones.

Friends don't expect to be entertained and my home isn't a palace so happy to have a friend to chat to or join me in whatever I'm doing.

I dont mind.
People dont seem to tend to nowadays as much.

They take me as they find me.

I agree Terribull

Yes I do! I regard it as bad manners, come by all means, but give notice. No one can conceivably know what 's going on in anyone's household if they turn up out of the blue. I wouldn't have even turned up at my children's places unannounced

I never mind the odd hour over coffee but must admit any longer and I’d grudge the loss of Me Time!

People used to pop in to my mum and dad's all the time when I was little.
I try to be more "zen" about it, but I just can't.

I have never liked people popping in so they don't.

I'm happy to make arrangements.

I must be honest, I hate people just dropping in on me I think it is bad mannered. I also have a friend who peers through my window and taps on it shouting yahoo, I am here. She comes all the way from Doncaster to do her shopping in my town then decides to come to me for lunch because she is too tight to buy her own.

The last time she came I was up to my elbows in painting the garden gate, wearing old clothes, had not had my morning shower as I was going to get one later after painting. I had to drop everything and start preparing lunch. She ate her meal and then said, I have got to go now and off she went.

I installed a security camera in my front window and attached it to my tablet so when I see it is her I ignore it. Then she rings me to tell me she stopped by and I said I was out and she had to ring in future before coming, but she never does so I never answer the door to her. I call her my friend but she is just someone I know through someone else who has now moved away.

I am mean aren't I.

I don't mind people popping in as it's usually someone I'm happy to see. There are always biscuits in the tin and the house is usually tidy and clean. I must admit I'm not always available on the phone depending on who is calling.