Make it make sense

I think you're very nervous and unsure about the world outside your home. That is what I see as your main problem. You won't learn how to cope with nastiness by hiding away. And there are lots of nice people out there, it could be exciting.
Good luck!

Have you opened the link that you were sent Biscuitmuncher and accessed the course?
If not, why don’t you give it a try, you might surprise yourself that you can actually do it!

I upgraded my excel skills from Beginner to Intermediate by doing a course sent to me by a recruitment agency.

I hope your course goes well, Biscuitmuncher, and that you find something suitable in the workplace.

I do wonder how people without access to computers and/or the internet get on now in areas like mine where both local libraries have closed. Computers and volunteer-led computer courses were available at both. It’s 3 miles to our nearest one now. That’s just an annoyance to most people, but I do wonder how those seeking employment and being told to apply for tens of jobs a day are supposed to do it?

Biscuitmuncher, does your husband want to you work for financial reasons or because he thinks it will somehow be good for you? How old are you and what, if any, previous experience do you have? Is any of that experience still relevant?

Jobs that do not require top notch computer skills, such as hospitality, care assistants and shop work are usually minimum wage and physically demanding.

I think your husband may have to manage his expectations as they say.

Hi Biscuitmuncher, I feel I have got to know you a little bit from your previous threads and posts.

I fear you may suffer from low self esteem, it will be very hard going into the world of work after such a break but it will be very rewarding and will give you a huge boost.

There are plenty of jobs you can do without computer skills although I do think you should look at shop work or perhaps some domiciliary care, do you drive?
If it’s not about the money what about volunteering?

Please don’t find too many obstacles, take the leap.

Germanshepherdsmum I've never sent an email or shopped online

Sago I suppose I've been happy, and I'm nervous about the change

You sound so reluctant to find work that I'm assuming that you are only trying because of pressure from your husband. But if you do this computer literacy course you might learn enough skills to find some sort of work that you would enjoy.. at least you will have tried..

Biscuitmuncher. I sense that you lack confidence, have low self esteem and are frightened of failing. Is your husband supportive, or frustrated by your lack of proactivity? Go ahead and start this one to one computer skills course, and enjoy learning something new, which will benefit you financially and widen your horizons. Let us know how you get on. Be positive.

I think, from what you post Biscuitmuncher that you are nervous about change and taking on something new. However, be kind to yourself, and take baby steps. If you’re using an iPad or smart phone, the email link they’ve sent you will be there for you to click on and open. Have a look at it. If you are unsure, then pop along to your local library, they should have some kind of hub, where you should be able to get advice on how to proceed.
I must be honest, I’ve not had to use word or spreadsheets for a number of years now, and would be rusty, to say the least 😊. Bite the bullet and seek advice. If nothing else, it should boost your confidence once you have a go and that you find that, yes, you can do it. It might take a while, but that’s not the point, the point is that prospective employers will see that you are trying, and quite possibly offer courses themselves to help you improve your skills further. Not everyone out there is nasty - the majority of folks are quite the opposite in truth.
Good luck.

I’m very surprised that you have never sent an email or shopped online. It really is necessary to be able to do these things nowadays - most people communicate by email and if you and your husband were unable to get to the shops, perhaps through illness, how would you buy food and other essentials? As you get older this situation will become more likely to arise, and not being able to do these things will make your life very difficult. It is not difficult to do basic things such as sending emails and shopping online, I promise you. I taught myself years ago, and also as a lawyer to draft and amend documents online - very easy. I even have to order repeat prescriptions online now, the only alternative being to take a paper form to the surgery which is some miles away and we have no public transport (luckily we both drive). It’s so much easier and quicker to do it online, at whatever hour of the day or night I wish.

I agree with others that this is very much a confidence issue. For your own good you need to tackle it now, or you will be heading for isolation and dependence on others in older age, which will indeed be a miserable existence. Maybe your husband can see this and is trying to do something about it?

Biscuitmuncher, you will find it very difficult to manage financially with just a basic State Pension, if you have no other pensions. Are you expecting your husband to support you, once he retires?

If you find a job, you will be able to accumulate some savings.

I have a lovely friend and neighbour who was suddenly widowed, she refuses to embrace technology, we have to sort out so much for her, I don’t mind but she won’t help herself and I am starting to feel I am just enabling her.
If we move she will be in a real mess.

You have said the job centre have asked this of you, if that means you are claiming Universal Credit then they will send you on courses, if you do not attend you will not get any payment.

If it is not because of claiming a benefit then do other types of work, cleaning, supermarket, cafe etc

No Theexwife, the OP is not claiming benefits. She has not worked outside the home for many years and her husband now wants her to go out to work so she has gone to the Job Centre to try to find something.

I think you have previously mentioned that at least some of your children are still at home. May I suggest that you ask them to talk you through sending an email and buying something online. Write down each step as they do it. If you are able to use a phone you will quickly see that other things are just as easy

Do you want to work or is this an excuse you are looking for not to work?

Biscuitmuncher, try to look at it this way. You told the lady in the job centre you didn't have any computer skills and she has enrolled you onto an online course which will hopefully give more computer literacy skills. I think computer literacy skills courses are still a thing and it will be beneficial for you to learn.

I'm sorry you have such negative experiences in your previous employment but not all people are horrible. I have recently changed job and my new team are actually really nice and supportive. I still lack self esteem, a bit like you, but the only way to conquer this is to put one foot in front of the other and be brave. Fake it until you make it

If you like working with children and don't have a criminal record, there are literally hundreds of term time jobs in schools and colleges. You've shown pride in bringing up your own children, so this is something you will have skills in too. Please don;t be put off by the negative comments on this and the other thread. It is quite normal to be lacking in confidence when you feel overwhelmed about doing something new

JaneJudge thank you for those kind words, I do seem to have quite irritated a few people

Maybe the main issue here is that your husband is pushing you into getting a job even though he must be well aware that you are not keen.

If it’s a financial necessity then that’s one thing but if not, does he have the right to push you into work, knowing how you feel?

Could you dip a toe or two in by volunteering somewhere fairly undemanding?

Sorry I don't know your backstory Biscuit.

I was against all things tech ie couldn't plug it in. Bit by bit, I can do what I need to do. I don't think I'll ever love it though and I always revert back to notebook and pen.

zakouma66

Could you dip a toe or two in by volunteering somewhere fairly undemanding?

Sorry I don't know your backstory Biscuit.

I was against all things tech ie couldn't plug it in. Bit by bit, I can do what I need to do. I don't think I'll ever love it though and I always revert back to notebook and pen.

That's not a bad idea about volunteering as a start.

Good luck Biscuitmuncher. I'm sure you'll get a lot from the course.

Maybe child care is the solution for you .
I'm sure that you'll find lots of work in that field .
Being respected and thanked is an important aspect of any work .
In the past , I've had enormous trouble in finding suitable babysitters for my children and would have welcomed an experienced treasure in that area .
My neighbour is so good at her baby sitting job that she earns £150 per night .
It's a long night sleeping over and taking the child to school , but her employer really appreciates her .
We can't all be brilliant at using a computer .
I have to help several dyslexic friends with reading and writing so work like would be hopeless .
I'm not saying that you are dyslexic .
Have a go at a computer course and surprise yourself !

No one has been nasty on this thread. Just realistic about what qualities someone returning to work after long absence needs show to be successful.

Oddly enough getting computer or any other skills before they start is not essential. Nor is being not very confident or being nervous or lacking self esteem an enemy to returning to successful employment. What is important is, that when in an interview, showing an enthusiasm about returning to work and a willingness to learn new things.

The Indeed (an online job agency) has a web site with a whole section on returning to work. It is located at www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/reentering-the-workforce-after-a-long-absence

I know the OP does not use the internet, but a first small step might be to sit down with someone they feel comfortable with - a child, grandchild or friend and ask them to access this site and explain how they did it and then sit and read the site and possibly get their helper to print some of it out so that they can read it off line.

Another step she could take would be to contact her local branch of Age UK. Almost every branch will have computer 'friends' who will be more than willing and more than used to helping older people like biscuitmuncher gain some simple computer skills.

The other thing that she could do, which might help to boost her self esteem, is look at all she has been doing at home during her out of employment years - and see it in term of what are known (and highly regarded) as 'soft skills'. She is used to managing a small enterprise in her home including working to a budget, organising all the different activities required of her to keep make sure children get where they are meant to be when they are meant o be there - and still have supper on the table at the usual time.

Any parent knows how they pick up communication and negotiation skills when dealing with children, husbands, schools, friends, friends parents. All skills needed in the workplace as well.

I think the OP needs to start by building up her confidence through small steps, like finding a way to access the link above througha friend, then talking to someone like Age UK about some gentle friendly client led computer training, then perhaps sit with some one you trust and work out how to interprete your home experience into workplace skills.

But in the end the first step has to lie with her. She has take hold of herself by the back oftheneck, give herself a little shake and make the first step. Once the first step is taken, the second is easier and it gets easier as each small success leads to another.

Remember failure is the one thing everyone experiences, you will have set backs, but just do as everyone else does, pick yourself up, brush yourself down and start all over again.