How sociable are you?

We don't really entertain anymore, other than with close family.

I would like to be more sociable within our home but as my husband has got older, he is more comfortable in his own company and seems to have more disagreements with people than in the past. I am not that happy with this sort of arrangement, so make sure I get out of the house and do other things - choir, art classes, meeting up with friends, etc. I would like thing to be different but have to accept that a change is now unlikely so I must just make the best of it.

I think the set up you have is perfectly OK "grannactivist". Both of you are doing what you want to do. If you and your husband are happy with this sort of arrangement, that is all that matters.

Maybe your husband just wants to get away from you?
I’m not sociable at all. Perhaps you can tell.

I’ve always hated parties and large gatherings. But felt obligated to accept invitations. But got to about 50 and decided if I didn’t want to go, I’d just say no.
But I have got a lot of friends that don’t know each other, who I meet up with regularly on a one to one. Which I love.

I don’t entertain at home, I’ve never wanted to. My oh isn’t very socialable, so it would have been all down to me.

Visiting other people in their homes seems to be something that happened in the past. I’d often go with my mom as a child to different relations.

I think lockdown stopped a lot of socialising. Once stopped it’s hard to get back into it.

I used to be a real social butterfly - going to parties and organising them .
I was a complete contrast to my introverted mother , who found social obligations excruciating .
But as my health is fading rapidly , I feel exhausted when I go out .

Yes have very busy social life since retiring.
Holiday twice a year abroad. Weekends away in UK. Days out in London. Meals out. Day trips to coast. Concerts festivals jazz club. Love being busy and enjoying life.

Before DH died, we used to entertain a lot. The last big meal he cooked was for the Queen's diamond jubilee when lots of our neighbours joined us.
Nowadays, those neighbours are being supportive socially and I'm getting used to being the odd one who isn't part of a couple.
When I entertain, I do think hard about the logistics of the preparation and serving of the meal. It can be quite tiring doing it on my own but if you don't entertain, you don't get asked back. And I feel I owe my friends and neighbours a lot, after the kindness I received from them.

I used to need to be around people (FOMO I think) but since retiring I hsve found that every so often I find I have to withdraw from the round of meeting people for a week or so to recharge, DH works 3 days a week still and needs entertaining when off so it can be tiring . At least now I don’t mind my own company

I made myself become very sociable because I couldn’t stand the thought that nobody liked me or wanted to spend time with me. (I would never have been the first person invited to a party). So to prove to myself that I wasn’t unlikeable I was rushing around like a headless chicken, joining everything. Now I realise how pointless it is to socialise just for the sake of it. I do go out but spend more time at home enjoying my own company and that of family and a few friends. What a waste of time and energy trying to prove I was Mrs Popularity.

We used to have dinner parties for 6 or 8 people in the UK and France but we left France after Brexit (Grrr!). Most of those we invited in the UK have died or become less able so we do it much less now. And we are older so sometimes too tired.

I'm not very sociable at all but the house is often full

I find socialising very tiring. I would never cook for anyone except family. If someone does come round I usually do a cream tea - that's about it. I hate anyone staying and hope nobody ever does. Definitely getting more anti-social and even find it a struggle to meet people in town for coffee these days. We have been invited to a wedding NEXT YEAR and I'm already dreading it as I may have to talk to people I don't know. Truth is, I don't like talking about myself and am not interested in other people really. I sound awful. Is it an age thing? I don't think I was ever like this.

I enjoy meeting my choirs and church friends but we rarely socialise beyond the rehearsal sessions. It is lonely coming back to an empty house with nobody to tell what has gone on but I am glad to be home. I spend a lot of time online to connect with others but I also like to be at home. DH hated socialising though he got on well with people but never wanted to invite anyone home. Since he died I have felt freer to go to family meals which I enjoy. I don’t enjoy socialising with people I won’t know well. I am not a good cook so I don’t invite anyone for a meal. I would rather eat out. Maybe it is time to get rid of my dinner service etc.

We are not at all sociable these days and my husband has become agoraphobic since the pandemic - as have I to a lesser extent. The only people we look forward to seeing nowadays are our immediate family.

I think some people like their own company and space. Personally I don't, I am a people person. I only like the odd day in on my own.

I’m in a very small house now, so can’t really entertain much. I really only have my children and grandchildren to visit. In fact, this morning I was looking at my piles of dinner plates, casserole dishes and serving platters, wondering if I should just get rid of the lot!

The only people I entertain are my DSs and their families when they come to visit and stay for a break.
I meet up for coffee with people in groups I attend but entertain, no. Friends are few and far between as having moved about a lot with 3 children due to DHs job and his irregular work hours and then going to work myself the time for socialising was quite sparse. Did manage the occasional get together when DH and his colleagues were at home at the same time. No family around for babysitting/childminding for girl's nights out either. Not unsociable, but just not able to.

My husband is a diy er but takes forever to fulfil a job that really someone else should do ( think putting up internal walls , and ceilings ) so as not to be embarrassed , I meet up away from the house.

we used to go out at least one night at the weekend, there was a group of us about a dozen, to a working men's club, but over the years our group has got smaller, now we never go out, we're getting older our family visit us .to tell the truth both me and my husband don't have the energy now, and are content to stay in

Don’t have many people over as such to the house. But I do go out with my sister and some friends occasionally and enjoy it. Hubby and I are still working but as we taper it down we are spending more time together which is lovely.

I like being with and talking to people. Alas I find it quite exhausting. I think it’s all this talk of the imperative of maintaining “social connections” and so on that makes me feel I must. I enjoy my own company and am always doing something being busy without other people. And then reproach self for not making an effort. But sometimes I just cannot be bothered. I wish I was more enthusiastic about it all.

I really enjoy 1:1 lunches out with one or other of my friends. I'm not keen on parties or large groups. We do have neighbours in for drinks but only in small numbers so we can all enjoy the chat.
Due to my various classes and volunteering I have lots of friendly acquaintances and cheerful interactions related to the activity concerned. Suits me.

I really enjoy having friends over for lunch on a one to one basis. It makes me tidy up! And also I make an easy but nice meal. My partner and I tend to be at home together a lot of the time with occasional visits from his sister and husband. I have my daughter and granddaughter over for lunch every second Sunday. I couldn’t be bothered with lots of people and all the work that would involve. Occasionally maybe.
The people I do spend time with are all very close and we are totally at ease with each other. Quality not quantity.

marionk

Having lost my DH 15mths ago I am having to work hard to establish a single persons social life in an effort to stave off depression/dementia, and it exhausting! I am an only child so am used to time alone and I need it to recharge after socialising. I don’t have a lot of close friends, DH was my best friend and I miss the ease of being with someone who knows you better than you know yourself. We used to love having people for dinner, but I do find myself anxious about cooking for people now.

That is me to a T

We are told that a good social life is essential for a long and healthy lifespan. My husband - always a rather quiet person - has now been in poor health for many years, so I have developed my own independent social life, volunteering as a guide in a historic property with friendly colleagues at least once a week. I also proactively call up acquaintances for coffee so that I have a network of possibles if I ever find myself in a jam - my family is spread far and wide. My sister and I have a particular timeslot online once a week and chat for exactly one hour and from this, I have developed good conversation skills. A while ago, I was learning languages online and got language exchange partners. Even though I stopped learning the languages, I kept the partners, and I now have longterm friends in a number of countries. We talk in English every week for exactly one hour, current affairs or matters of personal interest. With some of them I read books in English. I am now having a social meeting every night of the week and I thrive on it. As well as women, I talk to men. My husband does not mind, and they are often secretly lonely and appreciate even an oldie like me.

Iam64

We used to regularity go 5 Mile walks with friends, then all return here to eat. We’d happily feed 12 or more, plus teenagers and various dogs.
Lockdown changed things and as we were getting our mojo back, my husband suddenly became very ill.
Since he died, I’ve cooked an occasional big family meal but tend to take friends out for lunch when they visit. I don’t seem to enjiy, or want to entertain groups of friends without him

I can so emphasise with this, I lost my partner in October and do not feel like meeting with people at all. I do a lot of voluntary work which takes up a lot of my time and somehow more and more. I am aware that I am hiding behind my work and it has become a bit of an obsession, but I always did work hard. I am hard of hearing so it is a struggle anyway to be with lots of people, takes a lot of concentration and. is very tiring, so I tend to do the organising and they enjoy the result. It would be nice to get out of the rot, but perhaps it will happen in the summer. This wet weather is not very encouraging. I have one good friend who visit a couple of times a week, but never says anything much, she would sit therein silence if I did not say anything. It is very uncomfortable and easy to run of of things today to her. I have known her for 50 years always been the same. She invites everyone and even almost strangers to her home just to have people around her even though she sees her family every day, but she is the same with them all, just sits and listens without commenting. It is as if she is in her own world. If we watch TV together she does not know what the programme was about afterwards so you can't discuss it. Most weird. I am wondering if she is showing signs of Dementia. I hope your life settles down Iam64 and you start to enjoy company a bit more. I hope that for myself too.