Passed away.

Well, I did try to make the discussion less personal and more objective. and sociological. I tried to point out to Grans that euphemisms are there for a reason.

annsixty.

Yes, you're right.
I won't post anymore.

Certainly annsixty please don’t be distressed

As the OP please may I ask that people stop posting on this thread now.
Some are distressed which is the very last thing I wanted when I started it.
It has got too personal.
Enough now please.

That is totally out of order.

None of us know what other people have been through.

Anniebach once again you have decided to misinterpret what I have said. There was no way I found humour in this situation. I was heartbroken for my friend, as I do for anyone who loses a child, including you. I cannot imagine losing a child, my brain literally won't take me there. I am deeply offended by your unjustified remarks. How dare you suggest I found it funny.

annifrance

Just got back to this thread. Anniebach that was a horrible uncalled for reaction and judgemental. You have no idea of the horror of this child's death. She was one of a pair of twins of a dear friend. I had been away for three weeks and no one had thought to tell me this before I spoke to her mother on my return. There was no email or mobile phones in those days - 50 years ago. I was devastated and upset at what I have stated was a knee jerk reaction. At about that time I had lost my blond naked toddler on a Swedish beach. The worst two hours of my life and first reaction was to enlist the help of the police.

So before you or anyone else make bitchy or trite ripostes stop and think that there were circumstances. Such is life in any situation.

This is the reason why I loathe euphemisms for death. Sorted? Get the picture?

Wow.
Just wow.

annifrance you thought it funny I didn’t

Just got back to this thread. Anniebach that was a horrible uncalled for reaction and judgemental. You have no idea of the horror of this child's death. She was one of a pair of twins of a dear friend. I had been away for three weeks and no one had thought to tell me this before I spoke to her mother on my return. There was no email or mobile phones in those days - 50 years ago. I was devastated and upset at what I have stated was a knee jerk reaction. At about that time I had lost my blond naked toddler on a Swedish beach. The worst two hours of my life and first reaction was to enlist the help of the police.

So before you or anyone else make bitchy or trite ripostes stop and think that there were circumstances. Such is life in any situation.

This is the reason why I loathe euphemisms for death. Sorted? Get the picture?

I have spoken personal grief

Well, nobody here has been stopped.

It is not emotional blackmail to express an opinion. It is emotional blackmail to use personal grief to stop someone else expressing an opinion that differs from yours.

How is it emotional blackmail to express an opinion?
It is just that.

Not that nobody must ever say "died" in my presence, not that I have never considered gallows humour, because it was a huge feature, of my daughters illness.
Not that I spend all my time saying "oh, think yourself lucky your adult child is still alive and mines not".

Just a difference in expressing it.

Not because I can't say "dead" or because I haven't accepted it.
Not because I think that makes me sound better, or worse, than anyone else.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

M0nica

The tone of this thread has been obvious from the OP onwards. If you find the subject is upsetting do not contribute to it. There are many other threads you can take part in.

A similar thread to this ran some time ago and all the weight came down in favour of the euphamists. I cannot remember the literalists using emotional blackmail on it. I think we just moved on.

Having the freedom to use what language you choose, means allowing freedom of expression to those who disagree with you.

Like most people, during my life I have experienced the untimely death of those very close to me. It is something we learn to live with. This experience is not exclusive to those who prefer 'passed away' to 'died'

The OP asked for an opinion M0nica. The subject is up for discussion surely. We are all entitled to express how we feel. And yes it can be an emotive issue for many, that doesn’t mean they have to be silenced .

The tone of this thread has been obvious from the OP onwards. If you find the subject is upsetting do not contribute to it. There are many other threads you can take part in.

A similar thread to this ran some time ago and all the weight came down in favour of the euphamists. I cannot remember the literalists using emotional blackmail on it. I think we just moved on.

Having the freedom to use what language you choose, means allowing freedom of expression to those who disagree with you.

Like most people, during my life I have experienced the untimely death of those very close to me. It is something we learn to live with. This experience is not exclusive to those who prefer 'passed away' to 'died'

Seem unable to say die ? or choose not to?

Abitbarmy

Completely agree with Monica. It drives me nuts that folks seem unable to say someone has died.

Unable, or want to use something that makes them feel better? No right to choose for fear of offending those who want to say dead?

Not quite sure how you differentiate between the criticism of euphemisms and the implied criticism of those who find them easier to use than dead and died.

One differentiates in the same way as one does between logical arguments and ad hominems.

If anyone on this thread had directed a deliberately insensitive comment (such as the lost your child, how careless one that's being bandied about) at a GN individual, I suspect it would have been immediately reported and the thread shut down. This hasn't happened.

What has happened is that general descriptions of a few (a very few) similar but general such comments have been made. They have been described because they exist and because this thread is about the words and language people actually use about death.

As well as all that, much sympathy has been expressed to people who have lost a child or other close family member to death.

Monica, Good comedy is funny because it is based on real life told ironically.

I agree with Foxie.

There are occasions when the taboo against the D word should be broken.

for you anniebach, MissAdventure and many others on here who have suffered so greatly & with such dignity.

Thank you Nannee49 it was a shock

Has anyone on this thread said 'lost your child - how careless'? I certainly haven't - and never would.

Surprising how many ministers of religion will make jokes about the hereafter, and indeed many other aspects of religion. Did you ever watch 'Father Ted'? Brought up a catholic, i was surrounded by jokes about religion, whether life, death, or living based. Not to mention cartoons and humourous articles in the catholic press.

"lost your child, how careless" is dire enough as a private thought, restating it on a forum such as this where there are people who have forever lost their beloved children in this life & who mourn that loss every day, is abhorrent.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but when it crosses a line of knowing offensiveness, of blithe indifference to hurt caused just to big up themselves & their so-called sense of humour, it's an opinion too far.