Going into debt for Christmas

It is so commercialised now, it is not only xmas presents, it is the xmas eve box presents, the elf on a shelf daily ritual, filling daily advent calendars, cards for 60 school mates and twenty teachers plus gifts, matching PJ's, xmas jumper day - the main aim of all this nonsense is spend spend spend and of course all the peer pressure to conform to what everyone else is doing. Thank god I am not a parent nowadays (just a grandparent) it puts immense financial pressure on young families. Also unlike days of old when we were happy with a satsuma, selection box t, the current magazine annual book, and one pressy, now they want £300 games consoles, and modern tech gadgets! CRAZY!

We never gave our children big Christmas presents - that’s what birthdays were for. A really interesting stocking, a book and one toy or game was the limit from us, and they certainly didn’t feel short changed. And when they were really small I managed to eke out the present opening over several days so that every gift was appreciated (and I knew who had given what for the thank you letters). Could not abide children just ripping open parcels in order to move on to the next one.

Just talking to a young married woman today with 8 year old. The couple have bought two items as main "Santa" presents, both quite small cost but they know their son will enjoy them. They know GPs will give presents, usually a few parcels that will bulk out the beneath the tree lot. There will be no adult presents, not even to one another as in her words, it's children who count at Christmas. They both work but not big earners. Their approach is all due to ensuring they are able to have food, heating, petrol without racking up debt. Had to admire the girl.

The way I see it is that if people have little, they often want to be like other people at times like Christmas, weddings and so on, so will spend a far higher percentage of their income to make their children feel the same as their friends.

They are often sneered at for doing so, but if a family spends at Christmas rather than all year round, the overall expense may well be no higher than for another who pays for riding lessons, laptops, private tutors etc through the year. Of course there is no need for lavish presents if children get all they need when they need it, but a struggling family trying to make Christmas magical might give presents of gadgets or fashion clothing of the type that others buy as a matter of course.

It is a shame that people get into debt, but I doubt that many do so anything other than reluctantly.

I was brought up to save up for things I wanted and I think it made me appreciate things more, being in debt was a shameful thing. I’m still the same now and budget for Christmas by saving a bit each month and starting my shopping early. I think the must have, buy now pay later attitudes of today cause a difficulties for a lot of people

I am very keen to give my granddaughter a doll's house when she is old enough - she will only be 8 months at Christmas - so I checked with my DiL that she didn't have one stashed away that was a family heirloom. Anyway a couple of weeks ago a lovely one was being offered on freegle so I requested it and was lucky enough to be given it. It has nothing in it and needs some very minor repairs but was obviously good quality and expensive when new. I shall be spending the next couple of years doing it up and making or acquiring contents for it. It won't cost me much in money but lots in time and love. I hope she will love it when the time comes for her to play with it. It really isn't necessary to get in debt over Christmas.

Martin Lewis encourages people not to overspend at Christmas if money is tight . He also points out that buying gifts for people who are struggling puts pressure on them to reciprocate and he encourages people to agree not to buy presents when appropriate.

When my children were young we always had a fixed budget for their presents. My in-laws liked to buy presents and see them unwrapped while my mum always gave us money to spend on them as she lived further away and couldn't bring things easily as she didn't drive. We used to put some of the cash aside so that when they wanted something expensive, such as a new bike, we could buy it and it wouldn't be the only thing they got.

Despite this they always had far more toys than I ever had as a child and I'm sure many were hardly ever played with! Today I read an article about a high earning mum who is planning to spend £2000 on each of her children 'because she can afford it'! Each child will get about 60 presents! I actually feel sorry for those children. They will barely have time to use many of the gifts and will grow up thinking they can have whatever they ask for. What if her circumstances change in the future and she can no longer afford to be so lavish. Will she get in debt in case her children think she no longer loves them as much?

Sadly, in this day and age, many people don't appreciate the thought in secondhand or homemade gifts.

My daughter's favourite Christmas present one year was a game from a charity shop in a very tatty box. She loved it.
This year I gave my Goddaughter my Christmas Barbie which she remembered seeing every Christmas when she visited. She was moved to tears by the thoughtful gift.

Many years ago I went to a lot of trouble to make my (now ex) MIL a knitting bag in her favourite colour and to a specific size to accommodate her needles and knitting. "Is that all you think of me, to give me something cheap and homemade?". It actually cost a lot more than the cheap, tacky, small bags in the shops and it took me some time to make as I wanted it to be just right. She didn't give it back.....

We live within our means and will not go into debt for Christmas so it's homemade sweets, Christmas decorations and cards this year for everyone.

4allweknow

Just talking to a young married woman today with 8 year old. The couple have bought two items as main "Santa" presents, both quite small cost but they know their son will enjoy them. They know GPs will give presents, usually a few parcels that will bulk out the beneath the tree lot. There will be no adult presents, not even to one another as in her words, it's children who count at Christmas. They both work but not big earners. Their approach is all due to ensuring they are able to have food, heating, petrol without racking up debt. Had to admire the girl.

Perfect!!!

About a decade ago I started paying off the balance on my credit card each month, and have not paid interest for a very long time.

When you can pay the balance each month, by DD you get a few weeks free credit. I have never maxed it out, either. I had a credit card from the first time they were issued. (flexible friend) If I spend on a serious repair or similar, I may have to exceed the due amount, but never more than a month and so far I have not needed to. It was hard at first, but worth it, because I bear in mind that I may have to pay interest and that regulates my spending. When you are in your 80s it is next to impossible to raise a loan.

I also have overdraft facilities, and when I use them, I pay them off quickly so that the bank allows me to keep them.

What I spend now is due in mid January. I make purchases throughout the year, though do not go to excess, knowing it has to be paid for eventually, but I do buy food items which are available at Christmas, and which are usually more expensive.

Many years ago I went to a lot of trouble to make my (now ex) MIL a knitting bag in her favourite colour and to a specific size to accommodate her needles and knitting. "Is that all you think of me, to give me something cheap and homemade?". It actually cost a lot more than the cheap, tacky, small bags in the shops and it took me some time to make as I wanted it to be just right. She didn't give it back.....
How rude! It's bad enough that she was nasty enough to think like that, but saying it is unforgivable. I hope you knitted her a little voodoo doll the following year, and stuck pins in it 😉

I expect that you're happy that's she's now your EX mother in law Sarahr.

The overwhelming pressure (ie: blackmail) that 24 hour advertising piles upon us is difficult to withstand. We're constantly hammered into believing that everyone has a "perfect" whale of a time at Christmas - the reality of family feuds, hangovers and, inevitably, being forced to deal with hefty credit card debt is pushed aside in the Xmas crush.
Then Boxing Day brings us all down to earth and the Citizens Advice Bureau gears up for the post-Xmas tidal wave of people seeking debt advice.
Sure, people have to decide for themselves whether it's wise to keep putting Christmas on plastic but the advertising industry must take their share of the responsibility as they push us to use credit cards more and more and more.
But they won't.

Like some other posters my sister and I got one "main" present at christmas and one of two small ones on the tree. We got a stocking with things like a box of paints, colouring book, crayons, sweets and an orange in the heel. Oh and a new penny. That was it. I have never understood this fashion to shower children with gifts.

I had a work colleague who married just before christmas. She confessed to me that she and her husband (although they had the essentials) had only £50 to start married life. It was the early 1980s. Then one day she came into work with a huge pile of bags and began to show me gifts she had bought for her family and in laws. She confessed they had taken out a bank loan because "everyone was so good to them over the wedding" and she would have felt guilty having nothing to give them. In her position I would just have sucked it up and given a very small token gift to parents only. Surely their relatives would have understood that a newly married couple (she was also pregnant) had nothing to spare. What a way to begin married life.

This was truly the dark side of christmas.

Juicylucy

Can you imagine the children of today being grateful for knitted dolls cloths. In the era of child of entitlement.

I remember getting my Tiny Tears doll when I was six. My mother had knitted her a wardrobe of clothes. She was my favourite ever doll. My cousin, who is a few months younger than me, also had a Tiny Tears doll that Christmas and my aunt had sewn a wardrobe of clothes for her. My cousin and I were more like sisters than cousins and nearly always had the same main present at Christmas. She lived just outside Birmingham and l lived near Norwich but we always spent a lot of time together. By the way, we both loved dressing our dolls im their lovely clothes.

Oh, and l have always spread out present shopping throughout the year. If l see something in the sales, l will put it aside for a present. I have always bought secondhand gifts, too, as I try to get something to suit the individual. My husband loves anything to do with aeroplanes, especially Concorde. I have often bought him Concorde artifacts from ebay. He loves them.

A volunteer in one of my local charity shops told me that this year a lot more people are buying Christmas gifts there. So some are being very sensible.

spreading payments is a big problem, klarna and qvc for example. Many people don`t record what they owe and it is debt on debt. Good intentions to start with but it adds up and then an important bill will send people into debt overload. Much better to start a regular saver now and end up with a lump sum next year

I don`t believe that many use a notebook to record what they spend any more, it is cc almost everywhere. I used a notebook when times were very tough in the 80s and even then it was an eye opener.

i do not see that advertising is like backmail that it is impossible to withstand. I have never taken much notice of advertising and make my own decisions based in information rather than blarney.

We are all individuals with free will to make decisions that are in our best interests and keep out of debt.

It is the same as Chrstmas celebrations. Ever since Dickens wrote the Pickwick papers the idea has been around of the large jolly every one together Christmnas, but if one Christmas in one thousand is like that, I doubt it.

We all make our own Christmases as our circumstances and budgets permit, whether we are on our own or have lots of family around. We enjoy it or hate it on our own terms

I really do not understand why people should give a toss for what advertisements show, still less believe that that show what people are doing or aspiring to.

I tend to buy things throughout the year on sale etc.

then I have a big sort out to remind myself what I've got everyone

discover its too much

decide to keep some back for birthdays's/next Christmas

then buy throughout the year

then have a big sort out

etc, etc

I need to break the cycle......................

I tend to spend more than is necessary on my children and grandchildren.
But I don’t go into debt, and I love spoiling them.
One of my daughters was on her own for a while, so we did everything between us. I don’t think it matters who buys what, as long as they get what they’re hoping for.

Yes I got into debt for Christmas years ago when my daughter was young. As a single parent there simply was no spare money despite working and budgeting as carefully as I could. I would put Christmas spending on a credit card and pay it off over the next three or four months, without this it would have been a pretty lean celebration! She wasn't massively overindulged but I wanted her to have happy memories and not always feel the pinch. I'm much more comfortable financially now and spoil my grandson - but don't use a credit card!

I set a money limit on what we buy the DGC and AC for Xmas. It's the same every year. I wouldn't go into debt for Xmas but I know OH was not good with money, and had huge credit card bills for most of our married life until we retired. Main reason why we didn't have a joint account. One of my AC is the same but the others are more frugal.

cookiemonster66, not everyone by any means buys into all that. My dd with 3 young children has never done Christmas Eve boxes or Elf on the shelf. Christmas jumpers are invariably charity shop, or 2nd hand, passed round her circle of friends, who all do (or don’t do) much the same.

MOnica, I agree 100% re advertisements. I might add those glossy magazine articles about Christmas, with all those photos of perfectly tastefully decorated rooms and beautifully laid tables, typically in e.g. a stunning Georgian rectory - the photos all taken back in the middle of summer!

As for the accompanying text, I still remember cracking up at one where the ‘perfect’ Christmas hostess said, ‘Everyone goes to the linhay for the opening of presents.’ 😂

Witzend

*cookiemonster66*, not everyone by any means buys into all that. My dd with 3 young children has never done Christmas Eve boxes or Elf on the shelf. Christmas jumpers are invariably charity shop, or 2nd hand, passed round her circle of friends, who all do (or don’t do) much the same.

MOnica, I agree 100% re advertisements. I might add those glossy magazine articles about Christmas, with all those photos of perfectly tastefully decorated rooms and beautifully laid tables, typically in e.g. a stunning Georgian rectory - the photos all taken back in the middle of summer!

As for the accompanying text, I still remember cracking up at one where the ‘perfect’ Christmas hostess said, ‘Everyone goes to the linhay for the opening of presents.’ 😂

Yes a friend of mine's daughter lives in an old converted barn with a linhay.. don't think it would make a photoshoot though..

I remember one Xmas my son aged about 4 wanted the Fischer-Price aeroplane ( with pilot and passengers in the seats) . He’d seen it in the Argos catalogue , which my kids used to go through every year saying what they’d like ….knowing they were not going to get everything in their list. I just couldn’t afford the Fischer -price stuff and scoured charity shops and ads looking to see if anyone was getting rid of one . I found one ( no box though) in a shop, in perfect condition but needed a scrub…. I bought it for next to nothing , and me and a friend spent for ever scrubbing the thing til it was newish! Then same freind …whose son had the aeroplane already gave me the box that was his ( she’s obsessive and always put things back in boxes) …I was so thankful , the present was a success . But what most came out of this situation was that particular freind …she’s always been better off….always better dressed….always better looking….but she never criticised , and got down and dirty with me in trying to give my boy what he wanted. She’s still my friend ….40 years later ….and we were shopping all day yesterday and talking of those christmases when we were young . Great friendship is worth everything!