Life’s conundrums

Why does it not rain if you have your umbrella with you, but suddenly pours when you have nipped out without it?

Grammaretto

And why do accidents always happen at night at weekends when doctors and chemists are closed.

Ditto the dog and the emergency vet who eagerly doubles the price!

Why did I not preview before pressing send! Delete 2nd “are”

Why are some people are friendly one day and completely look through you the next?

Why do you have nothing in your diary for ages, then two events you would like to go to both happen on the same day?

Jacky😂😂😂

Why does the doorbell always ring just when I've sat on the loo? (Or the phone)

I don't mean I sit on the phone - phew! Just noticed that before I posted...

Aveline

How do flies and wasps get into the house but can't get out again? (Asking for two frazzled cats)

Perhaps because like birds they cannot actually see a pane of glass and therefore cannot work out which part of a window is actually open.

Having two exasperated cats myself, I just tell them flies are stupid and that if the cats sit still long enough the flies will come within reach to be caught. And that wasps and bees sting, so let me deal with them.

The cats watch in admiration when I trap bees or wasps by placing a glass over them against the window and sliding an old postcard over the top of the glass.

Why doesn't the drawer full of useful gadgets have a gadget that stops the rest of them jamming it shut?

Why, when you've mislaid something and can't find it for weeks and then go out and buy a replacement, does the original item turn up the next day?

Why can I be falling to sleep on the sofa, eyes are literally closing, but as soon as I get into bed, I’m wide-awake 🤦‍♀️

Why is it that when I go to order something on line my size is always sold out.

Why when you have been looking forward to an event do you wake up on the day with a cold and feeling rough.

And why do accidents always happen at night at weekends when doctors and chemists are closed.

Why is it that so many people can carry heavy bags and bottles to a picnic spot, but can’t carry the lighter bags, packets bottles and cans back home again?

why is it usually the drivers of dark-coloured cars who don't put lights on in poor light conditions?

Why is the letter "W" in English described as "double U"? Shouldn't it be "double V"?

Why does the gas bottle - which has lasted 2 years - run out on a Sunday. Luckily I have an electric ring as well - except there was then a power cut 😡😡😡

Why does Yorkshire pudding rise better when made with plain flour than it does with self-raising flour?

Why does anything dropped in the kitchen always end up in the cats' water bowl spilling it everywhere?

Where do odd socks go ? I look everywhere for them but they just disappear forever.

Why are goods offered 50% cheaper AFTER I have purchased them?

Why is it that the sun shines all week but if you plan a wedding or a garden party it is bound to rain?

(Garden party planned this Saturday. Chances of precipitation 50%)

The two abysses to nowhere. When my crochet hook or knitting needles or pens go down the gap in the settee or when food, no matter how far away ends up going between the gap in my freestanding cooker and the kitchen counter.

How do flies and wasps get into the house but can't get out again? (Asking for two frazzled cats)