Embarrassing moments

I was using a public loo in Ludlow that opened directly onto the footpath to the car park. To my shock and horror it automatically opened after a given time revealing me to everyone walking past! What a scramble!

DH and I were on a walking tour of Paris, following a guide book on my kindle. He was desperate for the toilet but point blank refused to use one that opened automatically because of an “incident” in his past. He refused to elaborate and I’m afraid I laughed so much I dropped the kindle on the cobbles and the screen cracked. He still hasn’t told me the tale, so we’re not alone, Scottiebear, in having embarrassing secrets!

I was at the church fête. I saw my husband standing with his back to me wearing his habitual grey trousers & checked M & S shirt. He is notoriously stingy and I was out of cash, so I sneaked up behind him and thrust my hand into his trouser pocket feeling around for a bank note. He turned around, startled: it wasn’t him but our young curate…

This incident happened well before mobile phones were thought of and we were attending a wedding reception being held at Rolls Royce canteen.
After the speeches and wishing the bride and groom well plus the buffet, the evening entertainment started with a nice dance trio.
During the evening I wanted to phone my son and his wife to find out if they had arrived home safely after their holiday. I asked where the phone was and was directed rather vaguely outside the main door to the left.
As I went out of the main hall I turned to the left and saw this door and just assumed it was THE one without really looking at it while at the same time I was scrabbling in my purse to get some change out for the phone.
I pushed it open into a tiny place big enough to turn round another door that I though the phone would be situated to reveal about six blokes standing there relieving themselves over some sort of basins,
I was so embarrassed I was rooted to the spot and burbled that I was SO sorry but I was looking for the phone. I scrabbled for the door handle to get out quickly but not before I noticed one chap in a white suit as he half turned who was shaking himself vigorously saying "Would you like to make a trunk call." Boy oh Boy! Did I feel a prize chump.

My family thought it was hilarious when I told them. More so when the chap in the white suit came and asked me to dance.
Hubby and family were in stitches when the chap said "I wont take her near any phones."

Just for the record the blasted phone was on the right as one came out of the door.

Before I was married, I was invited to a party at our local hospital University campus where I met a very nice student doctor who ask me out in a date the following weekend. I was thrilled and really thought he ‘would be the one’ as we had got in great. On the Tuesday before the date I had a gynaecologist appointment and he asked if I wouldn’t mind if some student doctors came in to observe, which I agreed to. There I was, legs in stirrups and yes, you’ve guessed, my lovely young student doctor walked in. Needless to say I didn’t go on the date!!

Went to Walmart after riding the River Rapids. Got soaked but had dried off. As I was walking around something fell out of my shorts. To my absolute horror it was the inside of my incontinence pad which had got totally soaked on the ride then totally disintegrated.

I was having a smear test and our GP at the time was an old school, pin stripe gentleman. As he completed the test and turned away he politely said "There we are, I do hope it wasn't too uncomfortable for you".
Without even thinking, I heard myself say 'Oh no, it's just a little prick'.
I can still blush when I think about it but he had the good grace not to react!!

While my date and I were walking on a busy street, the elastic on my knickers broke and they fell right out of my sundress! With great aplomb he snatched them up and stuffed them in his pocket. He was so quick that no one saw a thing. As we were in a crowded University district I am sure there would have been uproarious laughter otherwise. It was then I knew he was the one! 56 years later here we are...

I was in a busy shop with my 4 year old DGS and reached to grab his hand. It was a lady of short stature! She was affronted. I just mumbled an apology and scuttled off with my DGS.

Together with a friend I was organising a get together of folk musicians and singers on Dartmoor so we decided to go there to check out the accommodation. Unfortunately it began to snow heavily so we had to stay the night. We had a good meal in the local pub and were having a drink by the roaring fire and discussing singers and songs. She said”I can’t sing very well and only have a handful of songs. “Oh no I said I love your Hairy Assie”. (A saucy Scottish folk song with innuendoes galore) At the very moment I said the words the group of men at the bar who had been talking loudly had a pause in their conversation. I quickly added that it was a great and very funny song.

I was in a queue waiting to pay for an item when a man was very close behind me. As I moved up to pay he moved up and as I put in my PIN number he was right behind me. I turned and said if you have seen my number I might have to kill you. He answered with, it’s ok I’m blind. It was then I noticed the white stick. I apologised and ran.

My blind daughter would have thought that funny bobbydog. She was at a cash machine once and thought her friend was behind her and turned around and gave a strange man a huge hug. 'Thank you for that!' he said.

choughdancer

Years ago when I was working in London, travelling up every day on the tube. I noticed that a few people were looking at me and smiling, and felt rather pleased.

I then discovered that I had most of a pair of tights dragging full length behind me from the bottom of one leg of my trousers. I had probably taken them off together the night before carelessly, and not realised when getting dressed!

😂
You poor thing! Could have been worse tho, pants!

Junglebub

I was having a smear test and our GP at the time was an old school, pin stripe gentleman. As he completed the test and turned away he politely said "There we are, I do hope it wasn't too uncomfortable for you".
Without even thinking, I heard myself say 'Oh no, it's just a little prick'.
I can still blush when I think about it but he had the good grace not to react!!

That’s why they now say ‘just a little scratch’ rather than prick, so not to offend or make you laugh🤣

Years ago I was at a fortnight long induction course for trainee accountants and we were staying in a hotel. I got up to get ready for breakfast and thought I would nip to the loo only wearing a waistcoat and knickers as I was the only person on the top floor. There was no ensuite. Imagine my horror when the bedroom door slammed behind me and I didn't have the key. It was before the days of mobile phones so I nipped downstairs to the next floor and knocked on the first bedroom door. An undressed gentleman along with 2 half naked ladies opened the door and beckoned me in, the gentleman sounding like Lesley Phillips with his, "Oh hello!" I declined but asked him to ring the reception to send somebody up with a key. I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or the young lad who came to let me.
By the time I got down to breakfast, it appeared the whole hotel knew about it and for the rest of the week, I was that girl! Fortunately I didn't have to go back the second week as I was ill although the story had reached my office before me! I left the company a few months later!

Playing table tennis, I trod on something and realised it was a pair of black knickers, must have got caught up in the dryer' I've never picked anything up so quickly and thankfully I had a pocket to put them in. I think if my partner had seen he would never have let it rest []

Years ago I was paying at the petrol pumps, walked back to the car identical colour and model got it and a complete stranger was sitting in the passenger seat. Oh god sorry I said thought it was my vehicle I don’t make a habit of this you know and leapt out.

Got in it

Arrived back to gatwick airport last week and feeling tired strolled into the gents by mistake, woops! When i came out (very quickly) a man sitting at a table in front had a huge grin on his face, I was mortified.

My poor sides. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When our daughter was young we went on holiday to Florida and visited Typhoon Lagoon, a water park. Every so often they turn on a, quite fierce, tidal wave. This took me by surprise and sweep me off my feet and, at the same time, pulled my bikini bottoms off! Unfortunately two young boys were also swept underwater and saw the whole thing. I later watched as they rushed over to tell their Dad!!

As a teenager, one hot day, hanging out with friends at sea in a small sailing boat I thought I would have a little swim to cool off.

As I slipped (gracefully?) Into the water I caught my bikini bottoms on a hook.

The already quite small bikini bottoms were left behind me, attached to said hook, in tatters... and I was left to swim about in just the bikini top 🫨 - needless to say I had a lot of "help" from the boys on board who were keen to "rescue " me.

I was very careful on board in future 🤣 ... never did quite live it down.

Thinking of you Sadgrandma

A friend of mine used to recommend using a clean pair of pants as a shower cap to keep her hair dry- she stopped doing this after once in a rush she forgot about it and travelled to work on the tube with a pair of pants on her head!

I was looking for a house for quite so time. My local estate agent rang me to say he thinks he has something suitable. Oh that's great, when can I view. Right now if it's OK with you. Gives me the address & I meet him there.
When I returned home I looked in the mirror only to see loads of black seeds all stuck in my front teeth from the roll I had had lunch time. As I am a smiler I was mortified. I don't go out without brushing my teeth normally.

I don't know the lady personally - she was one of my mother's friends :

Completely flat chested , she'd create a 36B bust by stuffing her bra with sanitary towels .

At a party , she was enjoying dancing in a tight top when she suddenly realised that her partner was staring at her .

One of her falsies had slipped right down to her waist giving her a lopsided look .