Lost confidence in driving

That is exactly what i would have said. Try to book a few lessons to get your confidence back. Good Luck.

I have a sat nav for driving instructions, however, I always Google the street scene of my destination so I can suss out where to park and exactly where the address is. Saves getting flustered when there is traffic behind you.

I am in the same position, I was only told last month, by the optician that both eyes were bad, and she referred me straight away to the local hospital ophthalmologist for cataract surgery. She advised long distance glasses, which I am quite happy with now, for driving and TV, and told me not to drive long distance. So I only drive locally but it does knock your confidence a bit. I am a carer and do most of the food shopping for myself and family and my sister who is disabled, so the sooner I can get them done the better. I was laid up last year, on crutches and in terrible pain by osteoarthritis in my hip, I ended up having to go private to get that sorted! So not too happy about now having cataracts! But at least it is fixable!

That reminds me - I have to get a satnav and stop being scared I wont master the technology! Thinking of going to Halfords for help/advice even if it costs a bit more. tho I do the motorway,

I'm useless getting to strange places even in my own town and I like to park close as confidence very short in strange places and its inhibiting me..

My family keep telling me all the things I can do on the mobile but I want a nice screen et al.

Just to add - Friends and family who come over to see us in Spain are nervous about driving here, and although they are brilliant drivers in London, Scotland etc-they praise ME for being able to drive here !!

I love driving but after 8 years of cancer treatments it’s left me feeling a bit nervous. Since my husband retired last year he has done most of the driving.
I force myself to go places on my own but always look up car parks in strange towns and program the sat nav to get me there. It takes the pressure off trying to look for parking spaces whilst driving.
Good luck with your driving, well done for taking the plunge and doing the shopping 🛍️ LRavenscroft xx

My husband lost his license recently -at 75- after driving since 17 ! He had bad sight -He was the main drive, an now its ALL down to me, and although I passed first time at 22 yrs old ( 73 now) I too had relied him and lost confidence! We live in Spain now, and Im ok most of the time, but as Karmalady said, its the "end journey" parking , new destinations etc that worry me, an YES, he is a nightmare passenger, talking me through every journey with criticism -some justified, as he makes me nervous But I will keep on keeping on! I'm the main one to get us to hospital/Doc appointments, visits to family, friends etc, and if I cant do it, we are ****!!

Join an Advanced Motoring group, it helped me enormously.

I agree for all, about taking driving lessons. Yes they are busy, but many can fit in a couple of lessons as opposed to someone learning from scratch and needing to pass the test.

I hadn't driven on motorways since 2005.
Early last year, faced with desperately needing to get away from my abusive husband to go stay with family (we are divorced now)

I just got in the car and drove up from S Yorks to Co Durham on the motorways. Just like that.

and found it easier than driving in some parts of town!

Mind you, this is not having to face nightmares like the M25 - I choose a quiet time, and the motorways north certainly of Leeds are relatively quiet.

The other factor that helped was having a decent car - it was a second hand Volvo V40 - felt safe, and fast enough to pull quickly out of clumps of traffic. It genuinely did give me confidence after an old rattling VW Fox.

I sympathise very much with you. Ask around for a driving school that has a teacher who specialises in older folk whose nerves are a bit frayed when driving. I think it needs someone who is experienced in that.
All the very best.

I do understand as I am in a similar position and I’m only in my early 70s! When I was young I worked in car hire and drove everything; cars, vans, luxury cars and never gave it a moments thought. I think my big problem is that I have worked from home for more than 15 years (it’s our own small business) so didn’t drive much but used to drive the terrifying M62 monthly to visit my daughter and grandchildren so kept my hand in. As they now live in Spain that no longer happens, one son lives round the corner and the other only about 20 mins away.
We also got our first brand new car ever - one my husband had longed for and deserved to be honest but add not driving often to being terrified of doing any damage to his pride and joy. We are now coming to the end of a second lease and have been looking round for a new one, a plug in hybrid - and they’re all huge, honestly, with all sorts of functions I doubt you need. I do still drive to local supermarkets etc but only places I know, the idea of having to watch the sat nav, negotiate roundabouts trying to get in the right lane in time brings me out in a cold sweat. I have become ‘that’ woman and I truly never thought I would.
Also as they live in rural Spain to visit means hiring a car and I definitely can not cope with driving on the wrong side of the road, my husband bless him will, although a little nervous at times - but I do wonder when it will be too much for him too?

I had the same problem with cataracts. I initially stopped driving because I felt that I wasn’t safe to drive. My cataracts took four years to have done, needed both seen to and I had lost all confidence in my ability. However, despite my husband saying you had better start driving again as you don’t know when you will need to, I was very reluctant. Fast forward to November last year, we were shopping together and my husband went giddy, feeling faint and he was perspiring like mad. The shop was very good, got him back to the car and I finished shopping. I then had to drive home some eight miles in heavy traffic. A nightmare however I am now driving without hesitation. I did need to build my confidence but drove locally every week and am now quite happy to drive. My advice, know where you are going and practice at different times of the day, as traffic can be difficult when stop starting and clutch control (if a manual car). Best of luck and I hope you get there as a car is a Godsend.

I think it's important to keep going as long as you can. I don't worry about motorways, as no-one can hassle you from behind. They can always overtake in another lane, whereas on other roads they seem to press you to exceed the speed limit. I have done two speed awareness courses (36 mph in a 30 mile area!) and now try hard to keep within the limit - very difficult with all the new 20 mile limits. We don't have a bus now, so I would have to rely on taxis which reduces independence. Good idea to have a few lessons.

Well done LRavenscroft for biting the bullet and getting back in the driving seat. I really need to drive as they have severely cut the bus timetable in our area and I love to go to choirs and singing sessions in local towns. Although I don’t like driving at night due to glare from other car headlights I have solved the problem by getting new glasses with anti-glare Zeiss lenses in. They are a game changer. I have also changed my car for an automatic model, problem is although it is the same make and model as my last car it is one 2 inches wider and feels much bigger. I could park easily before but now find it wonky when I park even though I use the reversing camera. I’ll have to learn to use the park assist. If I am going to a new place or town I check the route on Google Earth and ‘drive’ the last part of the journey to the car park on the computer. My husband has dementia and has given up driving but still likes to give ‘helpful’ tips from the passenger seat and cannot read a map so I feel more confident if I have studied the route thoroughly.

PS with regards to sun shine, I have some dark coloured prescription glasses for driving. I also have a Chinese workers sun hat with a large front brim which I look on google to find that would be a golf sunhat in the UK. I also find this hat good at night as it prevents the street lights and some oncoming cars dazzling me with their rays.

I know exactly how you feel. You poor thing. The same has happened to me . I had a series of very serious hip operations, 7 in total. I used to think nothing of getting in the car ,doing my shopping, driving into town and looking round the shops. Now I'm stuck. Terrified to drive on my own and yet I need my independence. My husband is very good but I want to be independent. You need to find a good,experienced driving instructor, the mature ones are so used to this situation, they must encounter this all the time. Women ( and men) who have had a trauma, operations, break downs, and bereavement that have left them with no confidence. Look up well established driving instructors, explain the situation and after a lesson or two you will find you will get back into the swing of things ,a new confident woman." I can do it, I'm going to do it" good luck.

Travelsafar: I'm glad that you are able to travel by trains & buses.
I had a recent appointment at the specialist hospital that serves our local area (referred by local hospital for 2nd opinion). I didn't want to drive for various reasons, including parking. Here is my journey plan:
Bus to nearby town, 2nd bus to train station at another town, then train and another bus to hospital (last 2 run frequently & reliably, first 2 not!)
I could not do the first (and last) 2 legs of the journey within a day. I needed to get a taxi to the train station - £40 return (plus of course, return train fare)
Of course, as so often happens, a dear neighbour drove me, went shopping, and accepted a high tea as her only payment.
If we are to be sensible and stop driving when we no longer feel safe, we ought to have reasonable public transport. I know a lot of you in rural areas have car services for these situations- we do in theory, but they are based so far away, that they are not always available. Also, they don't in principle go to either the train station or hospital that I needed them to.

Refresher lessons are a good idea. However I find having a sat nave set for my destination is very helpful. I like the lady's voice telling me when to turn , which lane to get into etc. Even if I have done the journey before it means I can relax. also if I make a mistake and drive past a turning because I am in th ewrong lane it tells me how to get back onto my route. I prefer to use a proper sat nav and not my phone. The sat nav has quite a big screen. I like having my phone free. I sometimes stop and use it to look up my destination, get a difinitive address, and see it on google etc.

What a lovely reassuring reply

I can identify with this. I gave up my car 14 years ago when it failed it's MOT and I live in London so I really don't miss it. However every now and then I would like to be able to drive somewhere. For example, on holiday in Australia a couple of years ago my friends and I hired a car and took turns to drive. I found I had really lost my confidence and although I did my bit I was quite nervous all the time. If I decided to ever get another car I would definitely take a few lessons. It is amazing how quickly you can lose confidence in something you have been doing for 40+ years!

I do sympathise, as I'm approaching 80, and still driving, though now on the DVLA regular health check/license renewal scheme. Nevertheless, I'm very conscious of the fact that regardless of still having the right ticks in the right boxes, it's still very much my responsibility to stop driving and to give up my license if I feel that, for whatever reason, my driving has become below par. If you feel that your loss of confidence is of a degree where it's actually adversely affecting your ability to drive safely, then perhaps consider where you go from here. If not, as has already been suggested, perhaps a couple of driving lessons might not only bolster your confidence, but would also provide some useful, professional feedback on your current driving skills. Hope it works out for you, as I would miss my car terribly.

I know just how you feel!
Somehow although I do the M1 and M6 regularly to visit one of my daughters, the M1 and M25 journey in the other direction to the other two in London automatically raises my blood pressure! It eases slightly when I turn off down the M11 (fewer big lorries) but I worry that I will miss the turn off because of being boxed in by the lorries. Oh to live in somewhere like Germany, where there are no HGV’s on the motorways at weekends.

I live in a seaside town , single roundabouts and easy roads so I'm a townie driver . Two or three times a year I drive to my sisters in Surrey using the M27 and M3 and the dreaded A3 . My anxiety is high on these roads and I drive a mini Cooper which makes me feel small beside huge lorries etc . I always leave 6am on a Sunday. I make myself do it for I know if I stop I won't do it again. Yes there are trains but I wont be defeated by my fears . I understand how we can lose confidence. I am due to do the journey again in 2 weeks , my anxiety is starting to niggle me . I hate the A3 especially its so busy and fast . I tell myself feel the fear and do it anyway .

Phew I feel better writing this and to know I'm not the only one .

I only drive to familiar places now as I won't risk loosing my licence. Any roadworks or diversions would panic me. Motorways scare me.....all that fast traffic!!! Other trips are done on buses or trains.

Maybee - nip this in the bud NOW while you still can, you never know when it might be essential. A bit like exercise “use it or lose it” is the guiding rule - within the realms of safety, vision, physical fitness etc.
My DH gave up driving after major heart surgery some years before he died so it was down to me to drive us wherever. I should add he was a bliddy awful passenger (or perhaps I’m a bliddy awful driver - nobody say anything!) and words were eventually spoken as he was making ME nervous, but now that I am on my own, my independence is paramount. Fortunately nobody is expected to drive trough central London any more thanks to Low Emission zones, but I did it until not so many years ago. I am fine on motorways, I stay mostly in the slow lane do 60-70 where permitted and am perhaps one of the few people not to fret at a 50mph stretch!
But do go out and drive, don’t let it build up as an obstacle to be feared. Familiar roads, daylight, no strange city centres, a speed comfortable to you- all of these, but don’t let yourself be put off.
(During the pandemic, when we were first “allowed” out and about again, it felt very strange at first but “muscle memory” took over and it was good to get behind the wheel again)