Mum's fallen. Just need some words of comfort.

So sorry to hear this Jellybaby my mum did exactly the same thing. Her orthopaedic consultant said it would have been easier if she had broken her hip because that's a straight operation, a pelvis has to be left to heal. The hospital shouldn't let her out until she has at least the ability to transfer. You should also be entitled to some funded respite care in a care home which provides medical care. Lots of hospitals try to get away with not giving you this
It is free and it can last for up to 6 weeks
www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/care-after-a-hospital-stay/care-after-illness-or-hospital-discharge-reablement/

I'm so sorry to hear about your poor mum. She sounds like a wonderful person and you sound like a wonderful daughter. I hope you both manage to get some rest and comfort now. 🙏

Oh goodness poor thing. I’m so pleased their keeping her in though, can’t believe they wanted to send her home ( or maybe I can ) She’ll need to be monitored, and given the appropriate pain medication, that would have been difficult to manage at home. She’s in the best place for now. Hope you get some much needed rest now ready for when she comes home. Good luck

I think you may all be bored by me by now. Just been to see my mother. She is totally confused and talking absolute rubbish. She’s normally absolutely fine. She asked what shop we were in! She thought the toilet was through the wall. She tried to get out of bed. She doesn’t know what injury she’s got. And much more unsettling stuff. I told the staff and they’re testing her for a UTI.
But I think they’d just assumed this was her normal self. I hope I convinced them she was acting totally out of character.
It was distressing to see. It’s been a rough 24 hours.
Visiting is one person. For a half hour a day only.
Hope there’s some improvement tomorrow.

Oh so sorry to hear that. My mum was exactly the same, she thought she was in a hotel it was on fire and she couldn’t get the lift to work. I found it very upsetting, she was terrified and I couldn’t comfort her. The nurses, seemed to just take it as par for the course.
It was two weeks until she came fully out of it so just be aware it can take a while. Thank goodness you didn’t bring her home.

Jellybaby so sorry. My mum was like this. Her doctor explained that UTIs can cause these symptoms. I hope the treatment kicks in and she starts to improve.
When mum was in I persuaded the staff to let me go in at lunchtime because she wasn't eating and I had longer with her but this was before Covid.
My mum thought she was on a cruise at one point. I hope your mum improves soon.

Jellybaby, so sorry to hear all this; I have just read the thread. The drugs she is on may be causing her confusion, as can the UTI. We went through similar with dear MIL.

I'm surprised he visiting is so limited, especially when it is family that can help with her meals. I'm glad you were able to insist on her staying there rather than being at home.

I’m sorry your mums went through this too but comforted by the fact that they got better.
Half an hour isn’t long to visit but I’d cope with that if I didn’t have to go on my own.
My husband is sensible and pragmatic but I’m an over anxious worrier. I’d like him to visit with me for that reason.
I too am so glad that doctor didn’t send her home. The confusion would have been harder to deal with than the pelvic fracture.

They shouldn’t have even considered sending her home with a pelvic fracture without assessment and support. In my experience once out of hospital you are on your own.

It can be common for older people to get confused when they are traumatised, hospitalised and out of their familiar circumstances. Medication may be playing a part too. It’s good you’ve told them this isn’t her normal state.

Perhaps daft to say, but try not to worry and make yourself ill. I have been in a similar situation, very stressful I know, but my mum went to a nursing home for a few months to recover. Do not agree to take care on board which you cannot cope with.

I can hardly believe she was ever considered to be ready for discharge!
Very elderly, confused with a broken pelvis and a possible UTI not necessarily in that order.
Beggar's belief.

Back in the days when our health service worked, my DM had a back operation, spent 10 days in hospital and 2 weeks in an NHS convalescent home in Margate with sea views and sea air! I think that was 1980.

Sorry to hear what an awful time you and your poor mum have had, but she is getting the care she needs now.
I imagine you are probably fast asleep by now, but I just wanted to pick up on the comment you made that your mum’s fall was possibly due to osteoarthritis in her knees.
Have you ever looked into her having knee replacement?
Obviously I don’t know your mum’s medical situation but fourteen months ago I had a hip replacement and there was a very elderly lady in hospital having her knee replaced. I don’t know her exact age but she must have been in her late eighties or nineties. Despite her age, she was up and taking a few steps along the corridor past my room within a day or two of her operation.
Of course you will have to see how your mum recovers from her broken pelvis, and further operation might not be appropriate at all but I thought I would mention it.
Joint replacements are extremely successful operations for the vast majority of people of all ages.

Jellybaby71011 as well as being in an unfamiliar place, your mum is probably heavily medicated with pain meds. They can confuse younger minds, but at her age it's bound to have a big impact.

I would have expected your Mum to have had a blood test to check her electrolytes by now. It is not uncommon, particularly in older people, to become confused because of an electrolyte imbalance eg sodium, potassium. If this is found, don't worry. it is easily corrected.
Is she able to drink sufficient fluids?
To fall and sustain a fractured pelvis on top of being deaf and blind in an unfamiliar place is such a big shock to her system.
Such a shame visits are limited to only 1/2 hour.
Might be worth a try asking for a longer visit in view of your Mum being deaf and blind.

I’m back now! Went to sleep after my last message last night and have just woken up. 9 hours of sleep!
I will ask for further discussions today with the staff.
After 4 years of caring for my mother it was very difficult to see her looking so confused and vulnerable. I felt I was abandoning her in her hour of greatest need.
She had no idea where the nurse call button was let alone what
it was for. So was trying to go to the toilet herself.
Thank you for all your comments and suggestions.
I was so tired yesterday after 2 nights without sleep that I couldn’t think straight.
I’ll phone this morning to check on her. Ask a few questions. Remind them of her blindness. And emphasise that her behaviour is totally out of character.
I’ll ask what tests have been done/will be done.
And that she can’t even see her food and drink let alone manage to eat it laying slumped down in bed.
The last four years of being a full time carer have taken a huge toll on me both physically and emotionally. I’m easily overwhelmed and defeated. Sleep very badly. Am constantly on high alert.
This week when she should have been in respite was meant to be a time to recharge our batteries. And has turned into the opposite.
We’ll see what today brings. It’s my granddaughters 5th Birthday today. We missed her party yesterday so will try to get to see her today. And see our sons for some emotional support.
( JenniferEccles I’m not really sure why a knee replacement has never been suggested. I’ve always assumed that her other health issues would have been the reason.)

Hi. So pleased to hear you’ve had a good night. Such a shame this has happened now when you sound so tired and in need of a break , just typical isn’t it. At least your mum is in hospital now and probably will be for some time, bless her it’s heartbreaking.
Hope you get answers to all your concerns. My mum has been in hospital and rehab many times and I always find trying to speak to someone who knows what their talking about the most difficult part. Sometimes they’ve been talking about the wrong patient !
Make a list of all your questions and try to speak with the nurse that's looking after your mum, not always easy. Ask if there’s anything you need to take with you next time you visit. Hope you see some improvement today. Take care .

Oh ment to say such a shame you missed your Granddaughters party yesterday. I have a Granddaughter the same age, their an absolute joy aren’t they , she’s sure to lift your spirits today. Enjoy.

I echo the others especially about making a list of clear questions and important points to make to staff. It's great that you've had a good sleep. I hope your Mum is better today and you can at least relax a little and enjoy time spent with your family.

Poor lady - I hope very much that she is out of pain now.

Jellybaby71011 a simple suggestion - make brief notes on what your mum is usually like, anything particular that might help, that can get clipped to her hospital notes for any nurse to refer to.

Is there any music that she loves and calms her? We managed to get a sound player in for my mum and she listened to "Sound of Music" songs endlessly and they comforted and calmed.

(if she has enough hearing!)

Best of luck with your calls Jellybaby hope you have some positive news. When my mum was in I found staff came to trust me and didn't mind me staying longer with her, once they realised I was a help, and I would leave the ward if they needed to do something that needed privacy. I would imagine you would be a great help doing things for your mum.

Following on from Willow’s excellent suggestion I would write a poster and leave it on her locker. Then the tea lady etc will see.

Wyllow and midgey perfect advice.

I know it is hard to see a loved one in hospital and knowing how busy the staff are but please do not agree to her coming home until she is fit enough and proper care is in place.

Jellybaby hope you are OK and your mother is making progress. Let us know how things are going. Thinking of you.