Are you put off from visiting?

Yes we definitely would. Three nights sounds about right to me given there’s a 300 mile journey involved. To see family including grandchildren it’s absolutely worth it and I know my husband would feel the same. Luckily too, he wouldn’t mind the long drive as he’s quite patient on the road (unlike me!)

If you can afford it, the danger of measuring benefit according to the cost is being perceived as "caring more about money than family"

Frequency and length of trips can always be adjusted to what each family can afford

Yes I would go, and hang the expense As they say, You can't take it with you! But if it was going to seriously affect my budget I would look at alternatives like Airbnb or maybe going at a different time of year in future maybe to coincide with a birthday or special occasion.

My DDs are only 25miles away, so the round trip costs £10 in fuel. Some weeks, I can be up there 5 times and I covered 13K miles in the past 12 months, but one of these fine days, they probably won’t need me to be as involved with my DGS as I currently am. Like Maw when I looked after my DH throughout lockdown and was still in lockdown when he died last year - it was very isolating and I missed out.
Thankfully, I enjoy driving and as it would cost at least £20K to move house, (not to mention the sale, purchase and upheaval of moving) I can buy an awful lot of diesel for that, so I’ll keep things as they are, for now.
Going back to the OP - my friend’s daughter pays her train fare when she visits, so might your DD be able to help you out with some costs? Just curious, but why can’t you stay with her? Another friend’s DGD gives up her bedroom when she stays. I do sympathise with the OP’s dilemma - perhaps the Christmas gifts could be downgraded?

Can you afford it?

Aveline

If we could afford it we'd certainly go. Life is too short to miss out on family connection.
If we couldn't afford that level of expense I might be thinking about cheaper ways to do it. (Bus, Airbnb, blow up mattress etc)

I agree - I’d look for deals at Premier Inn if I couldn’t stay with my daughter, there are discount codes available, and the earlier you book the cheaper it is.

If we could afford it we'd certainly go. Life is too short to miss out on family connection.
If we couldn't afford that level of expense I might be thinking about cheaper ways to do it. (Bus, Airbnb, blow up mattress etc)

MawtheMerrier It could be worse- how do people whose AC and DGC live on the other side of the world afford to visit them?

Spot on.

No, we'd not be put off from visits, life is short.

I sympathise!
I only live 50 miles from 2 DDs in London and 75 from the other in Birmingham but reckon on spending getting on for £50- £100; even just to visit for a day by the time I have factored in dog care, parking at station, travel card, and (usually); taking us out to lunch! If it’s for a baby sit and I stay over it can get very expensive as I then pay an additional £44 for 2 days dog kennelling. Even driving is more expensive than it used to be.
But on the other hand…..
I remember how lonely and desolate I felt when I was locked down and a FaceTime was the best we could do and I missed out on 2 really important years in my gcs’ childhood.
So it’s swings and roundabouts isn’t it?
It could be worse- how do people whose AC and DGC live on the other side of the world afford to visit them?
I’d go - but I see exactly where you are coming from.

Could they come to you for a change?

No.

I go to visit my son every six months costs about the same as I stay in a hotel. I go March and September though as I certainly couldn`t afford December with all the other costs of presents and Christmas.