Staying put or moving house?

My house is far too big but its position is perfect. Like Kim I am indecisive and don't like to think I'll ever be infirm!

At present I am renting out part of it, a grannyflat, to help pay the bills including paying someone to help in the garden.

It's on a bus route, near shops and I know everyone.

I belong to a walking group and we often walk in Seaside or chocolate box villages and I imagine myself living there yes for a few weeks in the summer but what about the rest of the year. It would be very lonely.

Too much is put off until retirement, and as OP says many other factors destroy dreams, especially those of a physical nature. We have to get used to the idea that nothing in the future is given and live as well as we can today.

Maybe you can compromise and rent somewhere reasonable by the sea for some months every year. Some Airbnbs are quite reasonable, that way you will have the best of both worlds.

Always planned to move to Cornwall. However as life unfolds and grandchildren came along the thought of being many hours drive away from them is just a big no no. Instead I love being on hand to help out with anything that crops up. If their I’ll they can come here and I’m always available to take the for after school activities and little treats. I wouldn’t swop my time with them for anything. Life is too precious.

I would be tempted to go for the best of both worlds . Do you have the Airbnb scheme where you live? I'd be tempted to let my city house out during the summer for short holiday lets.
The rent would pay for you to rent somewhere by the sea in the summer . .You would still have the city house for when you need it . I have friends who do this. You would need to clear out personal possessions , but that's not a bad thing .You could clear out clutter and just keep important things which could go in storage . My friends who do it store their personal things in the loft space.

We moved when I was 60 and husband was 73 due to needing to be nearer my parents. We moved to a new build thinking it would be a lot more straightforward and less work but it was a stressful and challenging . When we chose where we live we chose this house over many others because of the location to amenities. I wasn’t sure of the downstairs layout of the property but my head said location location location and we are so glad we did. Five years on our ‘head’ decision was the best one.

Aussiegran I’m just so sorry you lost the money which might have meant an easier retirement. We downsized a bit - 5 bedrooms to 3, third of an acre garden to a smallish one - after living in our previous big old house for 30 years. It was near the sea, in a village, but I’m very content living in a nearby town with all the facilities I need. There’s no easy answer, no one size fits all, but I do hope you find a solution and are content with it.

We bought a caravan and put it on a seaside site 2 hours from where we lived. Had lots of weekends there and got to know the area well for 7 years. Then when we retired we sold our city house and bought a house there.
We're lucky with excellent Doctors here, no dentists unless private but my NHS dentist still sees me back in the city. We travel back and stay with our DD for appointments and also visit family every couple of months. They come to us for holidays and weekends quite frequently too.
It's worked out well.
Why not just get a caravan on a site by the sea if you can't face moving permanently.

My son lives 400km away. I bought a Senior Rail Card, book my travel in advance and always in Blue periods. I love the journey often getting more time in Lyon so I can wander before the next connection. I visit 3 times a year at least and
now he comes over in the School holidays for the weekend.
I find it a good compromise for both of us. I'll be staying put.

We moved from a lovely village in the U.K. after almost 40 years there, but it had no shops, no buses, no street lights, no pavements (and no nothing!) to a seaside town about 100 miles away. Nearby are all the facilities we could need, 8 buses an hour pass the front door to larger coastal towns, a mainline train station a short bus ride away and a busy, and a busy thriving community on the doorstep. No regrets whatsoever about moving to suburbia and leaving the countryside behind. Facilities are more important in retirement than birdsong imho 😀

We have recently moved to Cornwall after much planning and research. As old sods certain facilities were paramount, doctor, convenience store etc. and yes, sorry, a local pub - it's where you meet your new community and make friends.
My grandchildren
I no longer see twice , or more, weekly but they visit regularly
and we appreciate having days with them rather than hours.
I agree with others as you become older head must rule heart !

We moved area completely when DH retired. Nearly back to where we were from originally. One dd lived abroad the other about an hour away , all perfect for the first few years.
Then DD moved to near the Cotswolds and Covid came along.
It has made us realise just how isolated we are. Neighbours have just made the second move in 3 years to give a small townhouse in a busy market town a try. £0 mins from the sea.
Country living with no amenities at all and really nowhere to walk it is all farmed land.
We both admit we came here to allow DH to walk but will we still be here in a few years' time I doubt it.
I don't drive like I used to and the city hospital is 30 mins away on the opposite side of a busy crossroads city.
I would suggest you keep on looking just for now and maybe somewhere near the sea but with amenities will come up.
Picture postcard villages just don't have the amenities you need as you get older. My DH gave up fishing because there no longer are many trout or salmon in the rivers because they are polluted .
Good luck with your search.

Could you try putting natices up in library and coffee shop to try and meet other people who live in the coastal town. You could try meeting up for a bit and just see if you ave similar attitudes and then perhaps you could swap houses for a break, so that hopefully you end up where you swap, no cash changes hand except perhaps gas or electricity. That you do the simple basics such as watering garden etc and this way you get the chance to move perhaps a couple of times a year and it costs you very little. if that doesnt work well do you have a camping place that you might be able to stay in for a week or two . Once you have got somewhere you learn all about the area and you can also leave a list of good eating places or shops for the person you swap with .

I downsized for various reasons. How I wish I hadn't. I could have help with the garden and the bungalow.
I was lonely and thought it would be a good idea to move into retirement apartment. I can still be lonely. As the apartments are leasehold there are so many restrictions.
Do a list of pros and cons

Having cared for an in law who wouldn’t move from their large retirement property because of its location and the ability to put up visitors -
I will definitely downside in my advancing years. The relative ended up unable to get upstairs or to do their own garden. Cleaners, gardeners, large fuel bills and vast refurbishing costs were never ending expenses. Relatives were well able to book into hotels on visits and they would have been more comfortable in a bungalow as they wouldn’t have fallen on stairs so often!
Sadly even a stairlift was no help!

We dream of beachside living too. But the truth is, these places are rammed with tourists in the best weather months. Also, they are too far away from our kids. Instead, we think we shall remain in our lovely home as long as possible and take extended, off season breaks in our favourite part of the country. Best of both worlds!

i live in the west end of a large city, i am close to gp, hospitals etc, i keep being asked to move into a 1 bedroom place by my h/a, i live on my own and only have a couple of friends/neighbours, i would probably end up in some sort of bedsit type place as there are not enough 1 bedroom houses, i have happy here and could not face moving, i did this when i had my son was small back in the early 90s, sometimes moving 8/9 times a year until i could get a council house.

Forgive my ignorance AussieGran but as I understand it you live in Sydney? I know Sydney is a large city but it’s coastal so could you not move somewhere nearer to the sea within your own city or it’s suburbs?

We should have downsized a lot more than we did when we moved 10 years. Now find ourselves with a house that is much too large and no longer manageable as we come to the end of our 70s. The house has been neglected for the last few years and we can't face the amount of work needed - not least painting externally (scaffolding, lime wash etc). Can't bear to see it deteriorating. Have been trying to persuade DH to move for three years (as have our DDs). Despite all arguments about practical and financial sense of moving, he refuses to budge - likes his space, his garages full of clutter, his piles of books and papers. I feel trapped and anxious about the mess I will probably be left with, and my house no longer feels like "my haven". Location great with shops, transport on the doorstep but how I envy friends and neighbours in sensible apartments and bungalows. So, strong advice to those moving in their 60s - downsize more than you think you need to, declutter right now. Your house doesn't have to be big enough for family to stay (they'll visit less than you or they think they will) and use the money you save on downsizing house to pay for them to stay in a Premier Inn when they visit.

I live alone, a considerable distance from my three children, who are all in different directions. My mobility and health issues make it difficult to travel on public transport and I have lost confidence in driving more than short distances. Be thankful, those of you who can still do those things. On the plus side, I live in a house which is big enough to accommodate my family when they visit, so that, and the thought of the hassle of moving, keep me here. I know that I am lucky that I can afford to pay a cleaner and a gardener to look after the house. I used to love travelling, but must accept that those days are over - I feel that I live my life secondhand, listening to tales of others' exciting trips.

My husband has just died 4 weeks ago taking his own life at the age of 69. I am grieving badly, I feel as if my retirement life has just been ripped from underneath my feet. My home is lovely we have lived here for 16 years it now feels just like a shell. I will wait awhile and see what the New Year Brings. I will probably live in the same area as I have grandchildren here. If I decide to move I shall look for a new build.

I was widowed 22 years ago aged 50 and moved 25 miles away to be near a friend who has turned on me and my life is now solitary and miserable. Should I go back to where I was, move to London to be near son or Australia to be near daughter, stay put or try somewhere completely new… at age 73 it’s not an easy decision . You all have such different interesting scenarios.

MooMOO, so sorry to hear your news.
Waiting a while before a major decision sounds like a sensible idea.
I know what the suicide of a close family member feels like. I'll be thinking of you.

AussieGran: what a decision for you.
We have moved to a bungalow close to amenities and its working for us on a day-to-day level. We have family in the same town, though no guarantee that they won't move of course.
My OH's lifelong hobby has been down-scaled due to the distances he would need to travel now, but he has found other interests that he wouldn't have pursued if we had stayed where we were.
My interests are moveable! (gardening and crafts mostly).

Somehow I feel location is key, and adapt as much as you can.

We moved to the coast when I retired and had 3 happy years there. The main problems encountered were that it was an hours drive from the nearest hospital and our family and it takes a long time to make new friends even if you join clubs etc. We have now moved back to our mid devon home and are near our family, rail and bus links to a main town and on joining local clubs have met up with old friends. We take several breaks each year to the coast using airbnb and have a VW camper van for day outings to the coast. Follow your heart, friends and family come and go but family are always there !