Self care and self neglect

Wait till me wig blows off, I'll be laughing on the other side of my face, then.

You have! I must try to tame mine.

I've got my inner miseryguts tamed, for now.

MissA You hide it well. You're so cheery.

maddy . It's good to know that you're able to go to NZ to be there fore your D.

As if losing your mum after so much heartache isn't bad enough, you now have your sister's nastiness to contend with. I'm glad you've blocked her and hope that that gives you a little peace.

You're an inspiration MissA .

Psst.. I'm miserable as sin really.

Yes, I’m warm and comfortable too. At the end of this month we are going out to New Zealand and we can support our daughter out there for a while.
We have set everything down in a document and are sending it to my sister, and I’ve blocked her on WhatsApp etc so I can’t receive anymore abusive texts or nasty allegations. The document will show her exactly where all the money and legal stuff is and it’s progress. As she’s blocked she can’t respond except by letter. It explains she should get her share of the inheritance by about December. Hopefully that’ll keep her happy for a bit.
I’m always very impressed by you MissA because I know life has not been kind to you, and yet you’re always cheerful.

It is a real trudge for me, lately, maddy.

Still, at least I am warm and comfortable, and resting on my beds, and I'm going to make a nice milk coffee.

Thank you ladies, kind, supportive advice. You know how to keep trudging on don’t you MissA I know that. Churchill was right Fanny we just have to keep going.

That sounds ideal hetty.

Ironing is torture for me - so I actively avoid it. My version of 'self care' is following my moods - by doing things I enjoy, going out when I want - and eating my favourite foods. I have regular days 'off' when I do nothing useful at all. I don't feel guilty, either, as I'm recharging my batteries!

Yes, it’s like the old Churchill quote, ‘When you’re going through hell, keep going’

Just keep trudging on, maddy.

That's not very deep, helpful advice, I know, but it's all I've got.

Thank you Fanny.

Thank you Kate too.
Your right MissA I’ve written about the awful allegations my sister has made on my thread Grief for my mother. I knew she’d be difficult but even I couldn’t have guessed so soon.
There are also huge worries for us about our daughter in New Zealand. I can’t write about that on here, but it’s breaking my heart and when I miss my mum so much too.
Thanks for concern.

Maddy I’m sorry to hear that you’re so down

All on top of your mum's death, too maddy, which was very complex in itself.

maddy You're not alone with that feeling.

Thanks MissA there a lot going on in my life at the moment and I’m really finding it hard.

Sorry to hear that, maddy.

I don’t really do anything special for self care. At the moment I’m struggling quite a lot anyway and feel pretty dreadful when I wake up. I wait for that to pass usually, it takes a couple of hours.

P.S. Learning my limits and when to say no like violet said was hard for me to do but also essential. Learning to step away and just breathe.

Bridgepoo

Why not not go to hospital once with both and mother at same time? You also need to take care of your own stress level

I have a morning routine which is my personal care. I start by washing up, brushing my teeth, lymphatic facial/ neck massage, lotion etc. I sit and have breakfast and my devotions and a cup of Java once everyone's off to school or work.
But just as importantly is my mental and physical care. I go for walks or work in the yard. Amazingly enough this is so therapeutic. I struggled with an anxiety disorder during my younger years and discussed with the doctors the fact that I didn't want to live medicated. A good friend(doctor) gave me some naturopathy advise and I've lived by it since. The dirt in my garden and flowerbeds and even the lawn mowing (listening to music on my headset) are part of that care. It works!

Well, I have a new wig.

Now I can go about my day looking like a fat, slightly yellow version of Bonnie Tyler.