Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

We had another poster who brought Brexit into every anti UK thread. It is so boring. It is what it is.

Threads on Gransnet at the moment

What arrangements have you made for cooking should the energy be turned off
Volunteering at a food bank.
Petition asking for an immediate general election
Boris Johnson - a warning from history

Not too old, I don't think its those of us not living in Britain who are doing the knocking of it, you are all doing a good job of it

'somewhere along the line it makes sense to settle and stop looking for utopia which doesn’t exist'

Thanks for that, Bluebelle. That piece of advice could have been written for me. I shall remember it.

Please don't keep knocking the UK, people. It is the world that is in a mess, not just us. Why do you think these poor refugees risk their lives in small boats to get here? Ok, ok, I know they have their own reasons but, come on, we still have an awful lot going for us in this country so don't knock it.

As for the OP. I do feel for you. Three years is a long time to be unhappy. Could you rent in your preferred country for a few weeks, just to see if you do really want to go back?

If you did move back to France, would the AC and GC visit you? Have they been doing that previously?

That EU passport would indeed give you much more choice and rights.

FYI my OH has an EU passport and return would be to France not Dorset.

It makes more sense to do what the OP’s husband thinks, as any move, whether to France or back to Dorset is indeed a major upheaval, not to mention the large cost it entails all round.I am older, slightly than they are and we completed our last move 10 years ago at 71 at that time, which was hard enough.

Hello Countess Fosco. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. In some ways I can relate as I am half one of the big European countries through my parents and identify with both nations. Life is different on the continent and so is the way families relate to one another (I am talking about the German diaspora), food etc. I do know a Nordic lady who has just returned to England and she is doing her utmost to find people she can relate to and she also does activities which engage her in crafts and hobbies where she meets people who are like her. She is at least a decade older than you. I hope you find what you are looking for and do really understand that, with the language change and culture change, things can feel very unsettling. Good luck!

Countes Fosco says in the opening that she would love to go
back - to Dorset or Europe - not sure, but Fleurpepper is
pointing out that going back into Europe would be alot
more difficult now due to the Brexit, so it is a relevant point.

No personal details given over and above the info in OP. It is a fact that if OP did wish to return, then they may not be allowed to do so or find it extremely difficult, for one main reason: Brexit. Which has put massive restrictions on movement, access to health care, driving licences, having bank accounts, permits, visas, etc. FACT. With added difficulty due to tanking Sterling. FACT.

As for Brexit, it is also particularly relevant here. If OP was in the French system before Jan2021- they were in the Health System, and they were able to swap their British driving licences for French ones. They were allowed to settle there as retirees without work permits or proof of income, etc
I do not think it appropriate to take such a detailed interest in OP’s personal circumstances . If OP had wanted to share those details with us, I assume she would have done so.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel to bring the thread back to Brexit methinks.
Any excuse.

I think you have made the right choice CountessFosco as being near family as you get old, and in your own country, with as you say elsewhere no language problems if you need medical care, is very important.So many lovely places to visit here, if you are fit and well, go and visit some of them.

Only CountessFosco and her DH know their circumstances re their finances so they will have to decide what is best for them, weigh up the pros and cons together.

I'm sorry you feel so unsettled and hope you can sort out what you both want to do.
Is it that your DH is more settled here than you, CountessFosco, or that he just can't face another move?

This conversation has now become nonsensical.The OP is not discussing whether to return to the UK, or the merits of living in another country nor of Brexit.They are already here and have in fact moved from Dorset to Hertfordshire to be nearer to family.This is not a news and politics thread Fleurpepper.

As for Brexit, it is also particularly relevant here. If OP was in the French system before Jan2021- they were in the Health System, and they were able to swap their British driving licences for French ones. They were allowed to settle there as retirees without work permits or proof of income, etc.

They would find it very difficult to return as they would not longer be entitled to do so, certainly not on the same terms. Notwithstanding of course, the fact Sterling has tanked, so UK pensions are now worth so much less.

The relevance being that so many GPs have moved to live near ACs and GCs- and those moved to somewhere else, be it in the country or beyond, even across the world

Bluebelle did say that much earlier in the thread and I agreed with her.

Having seen it happen a few times, then parents are left behind somewhere they don't particularly want to be because DC get promotion, move for jobs elsewhere or just get itchy feet.
Parents are left with the dilemma of whether or not to follow them again or stay and make the best of it.

MawtheMerrier

^But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind^.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

The relevance being that so many GPs have moved to live near ACs and GCs- and those moved to somewhere else, be it in the country or beyond, even across the world.

Yes, been done for centuries- but the numbers leaving have always been much larger when the country has been in a severe crisis, as now.

We did it - and came back pronto!!

MawtheMerrier

^But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind^.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

My great-grandparents did just that in the mid-1800s but found that foreign climes (America) were not exactly the promised land they thought, so returned to the UK. Thank goodness.

Others ventured elsewhere and stayed.

But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind.

Young adults have done this for centuries. why else would so many of us have family in Australia/New Zealand/ US etc?
But this is patently not the case for OP, rather the reverse.
So an irrelevance.

Fleurpepper

Brexit is very much part ot it, for sure. All EU countries are facing difficulties now, but Brexit has made it all so much worse for the UK, this is undeniable.

I agree and think the brexitiers are as usual bringing Europe into the mix as an excuse. Of course there are cost of living problems for us all
But there is not the mess and despair of the Brexit problems to add to them.
I feel downhearted each day to see the headlines on the never ending conservative mess

It is not running the UK down to say that we really are in a dreadful mess at the moment.
I think some of Countess' problems stem from 'having choice'. It has never occurred to me to live anywhere other than England; so to me, I do my best to make it a better place to live. However, if your life has been nomadic, you see it through different lens.
Of course other countries have problems, but sometimes it's abut which set of problems you can best live with, or best understand.

I think that if you really are stuck here, then the only thing to do is what you must have done several times - treat this as a foreign land into which you have been parachuted and where you have to make the best life you can.

And, however trite, do count your blessings.

I have many friends who are expats/immigrants all over EU, and all are saying the same 'we would rather have to tighten our belt VERY hard, than go back now

Well, that's quite a relief as, if they all rushed back, it would burden our already over-burdened NHS even more.

nanna8

I think friends are the answer and you probably need to join some things and find a few people you like to spend time with. There is nothing worse than that loneliness you feel when you start life in a new country, it is horrible but you need to push yourself into finding out what is around and joining things. I know , a lot easier said than done but it is the way to go.

Yes, I agree.

It's not as easy when you're older though although there are more opportunities now for joining societies and clubs.

Have you investigated U3A CountessFosco? Even small towns may offer a wealth of activities and opportunities to meet people.
Or volunteering if you're fit enough?

But so many young people are now trying to flee the country for better climes... and leaving GPs behind

They've always done that though! It's called being adventurous. Weren't you?
Better climes yes, although the weather shouldn't be the only factor.

?