People who give you chapter and verse about people you don't know ow

I have a friend who is goes on ad infinitum about people I don’t know in great detail, and loves to mention if they are “well heeled” (her words). Another friend catastrophizes illness, even minor issues.

Why are they still my friends? I try to understand why they are like this, and I know that I have my faults and am not perfect. They are also loyal and kind, and friends are precious. I try to see them when I’m feeling upbeat, kind and sympathetic.

I only see them when I’m feeling

In my experience, it is much more difficult to diagnose females with ADHD It is more common in males in males and often diagnosed as bad behaviour.

Beanutz2115 ?
I have sometimes wondered about myself!

My very best friend is the same…. she goes on about her ex colleagues ad infinitum. As I don’t know any of them….it drives me dotty! I can usually drag her around to family and grandkids or mutual acquaintances. But she’s my best friend , and always there for me…so she’s forgiven.

Had anyone considered that this lady might have ADHD? !
I have this problem and I was told to stop constantly butting in.
Then I discovered I have ADHD I talk excessively, exhibit restlessness, have difficulty waiting in line, and frequently interrupt others. I do try to curb my enthusiasm to contribute to the conversation. Please don’t think it as just having to make allowances for an annoying person. ADHD is an all consuming life controlling condition.

My late MiL.. No idea who she was talking about, her son didn't either.

Sadly none of her children lived near her, she was in Edinburgh us South of England, one daughter lived near Glasgow she was the nearest, she would do the same to her.
My BiL just used to asked what was this weeks "body count"!

just tell her that you don't feel included in the conversation... be very honest.

My mother does this. I have to repeatedly tell her that I do not want to know these people’s personal information and it is over sharing. Lord knows what she tells other people about me! If I have met up with people she knows or family, she will often say in a very annoyed tone that no one told her about this. Not that it is of any concern to her. I live in another country so it is not as though she is excluded from these plans because she doesn’t life here and has no plans to visit.

Even worse when all a person does is talk about themselves..they talk at You...Me Me Me ..I think 70 per cent of the population are like that ...hence now in My 50s I have few friends and happy with that LOL

Oh yes, the ailment obsessives, drive you round the twist. I am in a group where we have a time limit of 5 minutes to talk about ailments which is long enough to tell friends if you are going to hospital for a procedure or something. There was an ailment guru in my walking group and gradually no one wanted to walk with her, quite depressing.

"That`s nice",brilliant.

And people who give you chapter and verse of all their ailments, without being invited…

I've got a friend who when you ring her and ask her how she is, her opener is always something like 'Dreadful, we've just had some devastating news'. I fall for it every time. Oh no I say, what has happened? Usually it is something like 'Our next door neighbours second cousin once removed who lives in Canada has died'. I'm not exaggerating, that was actually one of the tales.

Philippalll I'm from Yorkshire so it might be a Yorkshire saying hahahaha.

Yes the words "Oh just get the point" are almost on a daily basis you would think he'd get the gist hahaha.

Serendipity
Ohhh yes,annoying. I have a husband who rattles on and on AND ON, I say "Just get to the point."

I have one of those too. I have explained endlessly how to shorten a story to tell me the important points, as in precis that he did at school. Waste of time.
I do actually find it stressful.

My ‘best friend’ is like this she drones on about so and so and half the time I don’t know if it’s a relative, friend or just people in the village! She is lovely otherwise but I always come away thinking I’ve said nothing or very little which is certainly not my nature as I’ve usually got verbal diarrhoea ?! If she texts telling me about people I don’t know I never comment just reply on more general topics!

Yes I have a daughter like that so wrapped up in pples life off Instagram also causes lots of trouble in the family I choose to cut loose and cut her out of my life no time for people like this Narsaciss and Passive aggressive the older I get the less time I have for these type of people

My late MIL used to do this, but she'd insist I knew all these characters. "You know so in so, well you'll never guess what he did." "No" I'd reply "Sorry, no idea who that is." "Of course you know him, it's what's his name's uncle, you know him." It would go on and on until I gave in and agreed I knew them, when I was actually clueless.

She'd also go on and on about someone and their antics, often quite shocking behaviour, and eventually it would become apparent that she was talking about characters on an Australian soap opera, Sons and Daughters. She'd bang on about these people as though they were actual neighbours.

It’s a difficult one when a friend has or is lonely. I want to be a true friend and give them my time. Some folk don’t have a chance to talk. Surely that’s what friends are for. I’m thinking it would be cruel to be so very blunt as some here have suggested.
I do hope my friends are more caring and would give me time if/when I get to this phase.

You forgot the 'book' bit ?

I know someone who when you say my daughter is now 30 their daughter is 40
I'm thinking of getting a new car oh they have a fabulous car
Holidays oh let me tell you where to go. Then follows some boring stuff all about Dubai

If only they realised how irritating it is to be spoken to like this.

Serendipity22 You made me laugh... 'Just get to the point'. Loved that and also I've never heard the expression 'from needle to thread'... great!

Many people here seem to be much more tolerant than I. If someone tries to show me too many photos of 'darling people' I don't know, I just say thanks after the first few and my body language lets them know I've seen enough.Sometimes I need to be bit assertive and look after myself. I notice with these people if I did bring my phone out to show my darling ones, they give a cursory glance before rushing back to their own stuff.

Generally with 'news' of people I have never met and am not likely to meet,I change the subject fairly soon. Luckily I don't have friends who do much of this.

Having said that, if someone is a good story teller it can be amusing and interesting and if there is good descriptive narrative , anecdotes and a bit of humour then the characters come alive.

The occasional person at the bus stop can just need to talk. I'm not completely heartless and if I can see the person is lonely and needs a listening ear I bring the conversation back to them by asking questions...'how did they cope with covid, how is their health etc. If they mention a hip op I ask how did it go, how was the healing process, how are they now etc. It's then interesting and personal as opposed to just boring. I understand that, usually, nothing of me will come in to the conversation. I consider it my good deed for the day.

jaylucy

I have to wonder if we, in general, are getting more intolerant ?
Has spending time in lock down or isolation made us more selfish about what we want to talk about and the fact that maybe we feel that we aren't getting our say or not being taken notice of ?
This isn't the first post on this subject or a similar one !
Why can we not take a breath, be pleased about what our friends are telling us about their lives - even if we don't know the people that we are talking about, and wait our turn to have our say ? Is that not what friendship is about?

Yes, this! People talk about what they are interested in,some people are interested in other people,whether they know them or not . Don’t we sometimes just listen to what the people we care about are telling us,whether it personally interests us or not,because they are important to us?
I suppose not if it is a random coworker, but even then I’d choose it over some topics I listen to to be sociable!
( I’m interested in the lives of characters in books,who don’t even exist, so arguably real unknown people win there...)

If it was me I wouldn’t be inviting her next time, either that, or just mention it to her tell her your not really interested in the life’s of people you don’t know you’ve come to catch up with friends life’s not strangers.

Ohhh yes, annoying. I have a husband who rattles on and on AND ON, I say "Just get to the point."

When I was at work, myself and a few carers used to meet for our break in a cafe, there we were, sat round a table when 1 particular work colleague would occupy our ¾ hr break, myself and my friend used to tap ( kick ) each other under the table, 1 time the tap on my shin almost had me choking on my coffee, the whole scenario was funny yes but also down right rude of our work colleague to think we all wanted to hear from thread to needle!