A few minutes of tv . I am now an arch-criminal

I’m not meaning to criticise, but I do think that’s an important point about respecting his parents’ wishes.

Well I am afraid your son/daughter whichever would be told to look for other childcare, actually I would just tell them to 'jog on'!
20 minutes of TV will not cause tantrums or problems at bedtime.

Goodness me, have the parents told you that all screen time is banned? Difficult if you have gone against their wishes, but I can totally see the attraction of 20 minutes peace when he has been so good all day. Looking after a toddler 3 days a week is an incredible imposition, and perhaps you need to suggest other ways that you could get a rest, and reward him for being such a good boy. Blaming you for any temper tantrums is totally unfair.

Hopefully this will blow over quickly and if you do need to resort to screen time as a last resort in the future, keep quiet about it! (Yes, I know, parents rules to be respected at all times, but surely we should have some sympathy for the OP, I know I have!)

Jog on indeed!
What a blooming cheek.
If they want you to look after him, they have to leave you to do what suits you.

I look after my grandson who is two and has dropped his nap. It's exhausting and I'm early sixties. Tell them that you will watch TV with him when you or he needs a rest and if they don't like it, they're welcome to find alternative childcare. I sympathise.

How lucky they are to have childcare ( free!) for several days a week.
Be firm with your DD and say you are older now and it’s hard work ( there’s a reason 70 olds don’t have toddlers)!
If you need some quiet sit down time she will have to agree that he/she can have some suitable children’s tv time.If not then you cannot continue to do this for her.
Why is everyone so afraid of what their AC say these days?
Our children still see us as the Mum they grew up with and are thoughtless sometimes.

Exactly ! If they want you to look after him, it’s your call. A 2 -year old cannot be harmed by a bit of children’s tv. As a matter of fact, I think children’s tv is quite educational - seriously, that’s what I think !
And you look after him 3 days a week ……

MittensMum I feel so sorry for you for your feelings being hurt in that way. Sons and daughters/in laws should be more careful before they open their mouths and hurt well meaning loving grannies. I guess we’ve all been there so don’t take it to heart.

As they are saving money on childcare by you looking after your grandson they should be grateful to you for the care you give. The way forward is to work on the basis of what happens at grandmas stays at grandmas or you might have to stop looking after your grandson.

I have been looking after my grandson for the last 3 years and my dd and sil have accepted that I might not do everything the same way as they do - I am probably stricter in somethings and more lenient in others - but they know that l love him and will look after him to the best of my ability.

I hope you can sort out the problems you having.

a) If I was looking after a child for three days, presumably unpaid, I would expect to be allowed discretion about the activities he was offered.
b) I would seriously consider reducing the hours I give in voluntary childcare.
c) I would not allow my children to give me a 'right royal telling off' for looking after their child.
The cheek of it.

So sorry for you mittensmum 3 full-on days without even tea breaks!
I was glad to have my breaks reinstated when I went back to work when my DDs went to school and I was in my late 30s!

If DGS went to nursery they would have to go along with what ever activity was on offer - which in today's climate could well include the odd tv or computer time - skills needed in our modern world.

It always amazed me how quickly my DDs pick up info off a screen - i.e. Train/airport timetables.

Is there a religious reason for no tv?

I'm with nanaK54

What do they want you to do to amuse him for hours at a time?
I sympathise, you weren’t sticking him in front of the tv for
the entire day.

Your AC expect a lot from you, and sound rather selfish.

My DGD had half an hour of TV while I was cooking their dinner.
The only problem with that is that they could nod off for a few minutes; with one it was fine, she would go to sleep at 7pm but with the other a five minute nap would give her enough energy to last until 9 or 10 o'clock at night.

If we took her home she would sometimes nod off in the car and we'd have to sing very very loudly if I saw her eyelids drooping.

I can understand it but there's no need to lecture you and talk about respecting their wishes - perhaps one of them can pick him up earlier?

And I imagine your toddler grandson also needed to sit down quietly for a while!
I bet you've had a lovely day, try not to let this spoil it for you both.

I think his parents would find that professional childcare involved some compromises to their rigid requirements as well ?

I would suggest to them that you are finding it too tiring to go all day without a break and need to cut down to one or two days per week.

It’s exhausting dealing with inquisitive toddlers and I would think you both need a rest! Your house, your rules!

We look after our grandson regularly. Full days occasionally 5 days a week. I am 59 and dh 61. We can find it exhausting at times. My son (his dad) is understanding of the fact that he has screen time sometimes as he himself says that he goes to work for a rest.

I look after my grandson one day per week, I'm 61, working part time and I get tired!
Consider asking the parents what their childcare day consists of..... including ideas for quiet time...as the child requested screen time..... surely he watches at home?!

You are fantastic!

eazybee

a) If I was looking after a child for three days, presumably unpaid, I would expect to be allowed discretion about the activities he was offered.
b) I would seriously consider reducing the hours I give in voluntary childcare.
c) I would not allow my children to give me a 'right royal telling off' for looking after their child.
The cheek of it.

My thoughts exactly.

I was helping with my twin GD for over two years I really enjoyed it. But it was so tiring I struggled with the long days and I was not that quick getting around after them because of arthritis.

The family are lucky to have you I would have to say something I couldn’t let it go. Our DC can sometimes forget we have done it before and we know what’s right and wrong. Watching tv for a short time is not going to harm a child and you deserve a break.

Repeat after me:

Your House; Your Rules. My House; My Rules. Don't agree with it? Find someone else to look after your child for free.

I think you’re doing a wonderful job looking after your grandchild for 3 days a week. I don’t think I could do it quite honestly. As other posters have said I would be looking to reduce your child minding hours. They expect too much of you. What is it about parents today who seem to expect grandparents to take on such responsibility and then criticise them for allowing a child 20 mins of TV time.

I used to look after my grandson 5 days a week till he went preschool. He spent quite a lot of time watching television, either on his own or with me. Didn't stop him doing very well at school and knowing all sorts of stuff.

Are you happy to go on looking after him for this amount of time or would you like to cut it down.
I think the parents would notice the difference if they had to find the money to pay for even one of those days.

If the arrangement was "no TV" I wouldn't do it. I definitely wouldn't try to do it secretly.

If you feel you need the TV to child-mind for half an hour, I would say so.
If they don't like it, I suggest you ask them to please pick up the little one earlier so you are less exhausted.

I think all you grandparents who have children day after day are extraordinary. I couldn't do it!