Non compatible holiday companions

Probably as you describe.

Perhaps try a long weekend first to see how it works. We went on holiday with friends once but never repeated the experience. We thought we knew them well - but not well enough!

I went on a long weekend with a friend but again found we had different ideas. I wanted some time to sit and watch the world go by and she wanted both of us to fill every moment with organised activities.

Perhaps it needs an open discussion before booking anything. I like the theory of going with a friend but the reality hasn’t worked out too well.

Probably just as you describe Beswitched.

Yes there's a saying 'if you want to know me come and live with me'. I think 'come on holiday with me' could apply equally well here.
I have a couple of friends who I get on very well with at home but who I find a nightmare to go away with.
One in particular turns into atemperamental diva who everybody has to walk on eggshells around. I have noticed in recent years she goes on holidays alone or with very close family, but not with friends.

It's a shame but I suspect everyone had bad experiences with her and just avoid holidaying with her now.

We've never had a problem with holiday companions. Everyone mucks in and agrees on visits, bedrooms, eating arrangements as we go along. I wouldn't like to have too many advance plans to stick to because you lose that flexibility to change your mind when you get there.
The only unwelcome, incompatible holiday companion we had years ago when our kids were small was MiL. She just sat there expecting to be waited on and to be driven where she wanted to go. Never again!

For some years I went on holiday with a friend. I found it helpful as she was more proficient in the language than I. However, after a few years I found I was always the one compromising, never choosing where to eat or where to go. It got to the stage where we would go up to our rooms in the evening after dinner and I would wait a while and usually would then hear her on the phone . She always wanted rooms next to each other. I would then creep out for a walk around as it was usually only around 8.30pm. Recognising this was silly I stopped it. Often on long haul holidays I would see friends falling out, especially if they shared a room, something I would never do.

We went on holiday with daughter 2 and her then husband, sharing a caravan at Haven in Torquay. We had some ideas of what we wanted to do and see, but they expected us to fall in with whatever they had planned. One morning we all decided on going to the zoo, discount tickets were available from site reception, but then they drove straight past reception on the way out, turned out they`d decided we were going to a market instead. Later in the day, THEY decided that we were off to the zoo, thereby having to pay full admission. We never holidayed with them again.

It’s a difficult one

as has already been said holidaying with friends can be a whole different ball game to a coffee,meal etc with them.
Beswitched I am in a similar situation at the moment. My friend is organised to the minute whereas I feel as you do -have a couple of things then go with the flow. She is driving me crazy using the excuse of having to book early now due to COVID. We went to lunch last week and she caught me off
guard suggesting a weekend away in the autumn. I stupidly said yes but it was like that out of body experience wanting to say no. We will see a show I’m not really bothered about and then we get free time in London next day and she wants to arrange a lunch somewhere before we leave not knowing timings etc. Help how do I get out of it? The deposit is also half of the cost which she e mailed me within an hour of arriving home from our lunch. I have a lot of expenditures in the next month or so and could do without paying out for something I’d rather not.

I have 3 friends that I go away with, separately, several times a year and each friend is totally different in what they like to do and what their expectations are. Never had a bad experience yet and we've been holidaying together for 30+ years. Communication of what you each want out of the holiday, before you go is key.

Grandmadinosaur. Carnt you tell your friend that you carnt afford it. Just be honest tell her you have had a lot to pay out lately Im sure a good friend would understand.

I prefer holidaying alone rather than go with a friend.
It can ruin friendships.
I've been talked into something later this year and am dreading it.

Chewbacca is right, you both need to have a clear idea of your holiday expectations before you go. Pencil in some times when you do your own thing . If your expectations are not compatible then rethink the whole holiday idea. You don't want to waste time and money doing things you don't enjoy.

The worst holiday companion is the one with deep pockets and short arms. I can put up with most quirks of human nature but not this one.

Much the same as you, Beswitched* - I can’t do with endlessly rushing hither and thither on holiday, which is one reason I’d never go on an organised tour.

Having said that, you can take it a bit too far! An ex colleague refused to go on holiday with another ex colleague any more, because the latter would still be dithering and faffing at 11 am, when the former was itching to get out and do or see something.

henetha that’s how I’m feeling about the weekend I agreed to and sadly I have paid the deposit with the balance due early Sept. I’m hoping it might get cancelled due to lack of numbers/ restrictions - anything in fact. I also don’t mind going away by myself and have a few ideas for days away I’d like to do possibly in September when schools are back.

Tell her you'll go but at times will want to do your own thing. Go off on your own, you don't have to do everything together. She might be lacking in confidence but either way, her choice isn't your choice but it is reassuring to have someone there that you know for meal times etc.

Beswitched, my dread would be a holiday companion as you describe her!

Me too, Grandmadinosaur. I've paid for it now, and don't see how I can pull out of it without causing massive offence.
I've made a vow never to get in this position again.
I do hope you enjoy yours much more than you think you are going to . Good luck.

We go away with family every year, which in 2019 extended to DGD’s boyfriend. It has worked well every year except the year we took offence over our 8 year old DGS unacceptable behaviour, which went unreprimanded.
The year after we went alone, then DGS rang up to ask if we wanted to go with them next time if he promised to behave.
There does have to be give and take and it is so much better now we’re not reliant on one car, but I really enjoy it.

Over the years we’ve holidayed with the same three couples and one singleton, all easy going and flexible. Of course sometimes we go along with something we don’t want to do as others do for us.
One year another couple, liked by all of us at home, asked to join us. It was horrendous, they insisted on seeing everything within a 30 mile radius and sulked if others didn’t fancy it. Only cooked on one night of fourteen and complained about the food prepared by others. The fortnight passed of course, the difficulty was getting away without them for years after, caused a bit of upset.
I certainly wouldn’t spend good money on a holiday with anyone sulky, selfish or controlling. That’s my idea of an incompatible companion.

Thank you henetha yes I too will be prepared next time. On hindsight I should have said I’ll think about it. I hope you will be able to make yours bearable.

My 'bestie' (sadly dead for eleven years now), was difficult to go on holiday with. She never actually listened to shop assistants or the like, just ploughed on with what she was saying, and NEVER ever said 'Thank You' to anyone. I usually trailled after her in shops, etc. apologising for her and thanking people.

One particular time I can remember so well. On a coach trip, we arrived very much later at the hotel than planned, so when we went down to brekkie the following morning, none of us had pre-ordered anything. Lovely waitress came to out table (the two of us plus two other ladies we did not know). She told us that most things were available, except kippers as these were only available when ordered day before. She went round taking our orders and my friend immediately said 'kippers for me'. I was so embarrassed, other ladies snickered.....waitress said apologetically, 'Sorry not possible', my friend said 'Only want kippers please'. I had to intervene.

Recently I went on a very pleasant holiday with one of my AC, her hubbie and three of my teenage g.children. We had a pleasant large, self-catering cottage, Oh Dear - living with teens again - I found it so very difficult. Will not repeat that experience.

Went on a camping trip with friends that had a 5 year old boy who took no notice of what his parents said, just did whatever pleased him. Spent the whole weekend torn between biting our tongues or alienating our friends. Our children when told they couldn't do something watched mystified when he did.
Never again.

My DH knew two couples who went on holiday together, on couple A's boat. It went so well that when they came home couple B disinvited couple A to their wedding!