Hug or not to hug

I hug close friends and family only and was rather relieved not to have to touch others during the pandemic. But I did feel guilty about it and wondered what this said about me. However, I've decided I can't change my nature and from now on if someone advances upon me with clear intentions of hugginess, I shall swiftly offer my elbow or hand for a bump or a shake. Alternately, I may respond with "you can look but you can't touch, or, if I'm sufficiently rattled I will look em in the eye and say "don't touch me!"

My parents had a spinster friend, a retired Matron, who considered my children her de facto great nieces. On entering the house she would pursue them, wet lips pursed, eyes almost closed, as they gradually retreated backwards and up the stairs, trying to avoid the ‘old lady’ lips on theirs. Sadly none of us were very fond of her. She was just a lonely lady with no family who eventually retreated into dementia. We often reminisce about ‘Aunty Muriel’ and her lips.
I’m not particularly a hugger. I think it’s a generational thing. My parents weren’t overtly close and I and one DD have followed. The other 2 are very huggy kissy as are their children

nanna8

What I don’t like is the blokes who kiss you on your lips as a greeting. I don’t mean family, just acquaintances. I have come across a few of those. Yucky yucky poo. Feel like you have to wipe your mouth, which I usually do. Always ugly old ones,too.

Have any of you watched 'Classic Millionaire'. Chris Tarrant really likes the ladies and cuddles and kisses some of them. We were astounded when he actually got hold of one woman and kissed her full on the lips. These people think they can do it because they're famous and get away with it. Glad to say Jeremy doesn't do it.

nanna8

What I don’t like is the blokes who kiss you on your lips as a greeting. I don’t mean family, just acquaintances. I have come across a few of those. Yucky yucky poo. Feel like you have to wipe your mouth, which I usually do. Always ugly old ones,too.

I remember that! Men who you didn’t know, who were friends of friends. Horrible wet kisses right on the mouth and maybe sixpence tucked into ones hand.

Sudden and unexpected lurches!

Blokes don’t kiss me on the lips I would knock them out DH excluded of course! I hug those I love friends included people that matter to me.

What I don’t like is the blokes who kiss you on your lips as a greeting. I don’t mean family, just acquaintances. I have come across a few of those. Yucky yucky poo. Feel like you have to wipe your mouth, which I usually do. Always ugly old ones,too.

I will hug anyone I love or in some instances really like a lot. I’ll even kiss them!
I don’t want to hug or kiss anyone else. It is tricky to step back and duck out of the way though so have spent years putting up with it, I think that there are more of us than one may think.

ExD

Didn't Diana introduce hugs to us Brits? Did she get it from the American movie stars she so loved? I was so pleased covid stopped it and am considering what to do when it all starts up again.
How about pressing our hands together (as in Namaste) and bowing the head if a good old handshake is inappropriate?

The sign of peace is a different matter so I have started a thread about that on the Religion page so as not to detract this one.

I like that. I find it quite lovely.

I’m longing for the old fashioned hand kiss to come back ? The lips shouldn’t really touch the hand of course.

Bring it on I say! I never stopped hugging my family and do not understand the people who did. We are healthy adults and so are the rest of my family.

Galaxy tbh I only hug good friends and family I’ve hugged for years, but I’ve seen other people, when approached by a hugger, not me, either hold their hand up in front, or extend a hand for a shake, but you may well be right.
I’ve just missed hugging my children, grandchildren and a few friends, it’s been over a year since I’ve hugged anyone other than Mr J.

I agree, especially with Hithere about the “forced” hugging thing - you're made to feel as if there's something wrong with you if you don't want to!

I was very much hoping that the pandemic would bring some good changes - such as no longer having to do this. Seems I may have hoped in vain.

I am not a huggy person and only nearest and closest family get hugs. Perhaps it comes from upbringing and my mother was never one to hug and kiss us children although out granny and aunties did.

One of my dogs loves to have hugs so any hugs I miss out on she makes up for. The other dog is happy but can be aloof although at times she will come over make her presence felt and want some pampering .

Didn't Diana introduce hugs to us Brits? Did she get it from the American movie stars she so loved? I was so pleased covid stopped it and am considering what to do when it all starts up again.
How about pressing our hands together (as in Namaste) and bowing the head if a good old handshake is inappropriate?

The sign of peace is a different matter so I have started a thread about that on the Religion page so as not to detract this one.

Like an idiot I thought it would be funny to greet friends and family with the mwah mwah kiss used by Edina and Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous. Unfortunately it got out of control and everyone copied me so that I didn't know how to eradicate it! When we meet up again I'm going to mutter "I don't do kissing any more. It's a Covid thing." I'll still happily engage in bear hugs with any willing chap.

I love a good hug! Thing is my late mum was not a hugger or kisser, but dad definitely was.

Regarding the sharing of the peace at church. Years ago at the AGM of our little country church, one long standing member of the congregation said “This sharing of the peace. Well, we don’t do it here at St .....” We all agreed with him.

The new vicar was shocked, and could not see why we as a congregation did not like it, and he made us all feel very un Christian for not wanting to do it.

I still hate it, and most of us just give a discreet wave to our neighbour, pre Covid.

Cannot do with the traipsing about, hugging and kissing all and sundry which is what happens at our main Group Church, wasting several minutes of the service. (Pre Covid of course).

grannylyn65

Wtf is hubs?

Husband, hubby

Mine are/will be kept for immediate family and a few very close long-time friends.
I will excuse myself from any others from now on as I was never really comfortable with it. Especially people who want to hug you when they have a cold/flu. It’s been nice not to suffer with colds/flu this past winter as I’m asthmatic and it’s rarely just a simple cold for me.

Ah, the silver lining of the pandemic! Good things always come from horrible situations

I always hated the forced kiss kiss hug hug, because it was the polite thing to do.
It didnt help my parents would chastise me for being rude and not wanting to hug and kiss everybody when I grew up

Bodily autonomy is so important!

Some of my best friend and I dont kiss or hug because it's not our thing and it does not affect the friendship at all. We respect each other's preferences.

Wtf is hubs?

I like hugs, but only from family and close friends, Certainly not this ridiculous kiss on both cheeks business

It's quite hard to do that in my experience Jaxjacky, I mean indicate that you dont like it, it's a tricky one.

Same here relieved that the hugging stopped for the pandemic, dreading it coming back. In my case it’s reserved for DH, DC and DGC.