I keep getting emails offering me funerals and will writing services. Usually ignore them but today I've lost the plot. I sent this reply
Dear Sir/Madam
Thank you for the opportunity to purchase but I do not require this service as I am immortal and have inside me blood of kings. Under these circumstances I will never need a funeral or will writing service.
Regards
Good Morning Sunday 16th August 2026
Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaa! An OBE in exchange for the State Pension?
?