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I think I've lost the plot

(8 Posts)
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vampirequeen Tue 20-Oct-20 14:48:22

I keep getting emails offering me funerals and will writing services. Usually ignore them but today I've lost the plot. I sent this reply

Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for the opportunity to purchase but I do not require this service as I am immortal and have inside me blood of kings. Under these circumstances I will never need a funeral or will writing service.

Regards

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Callistemon Tue 20-Oct-20 14:52:26

grin ?

I was moaning because I keep getting junk mail about Retirement Villages!
And I think I'm older than you, vampirequeen

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aggie Tue 20-Oct-20 14:53:05

Love it ?

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grandMattie Tue 20-Oct-20 14:56:16

What have I done wrong? I’ve got one foot in the grav3 and never offered anything like that! ???

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Toyoungtobeadamnedgran Tue 20-Oct-20 15:03:10

Brilliant ???

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FannyCornforth Tue 20-Oct-20 15:22:56

Excellent.
They are despicable.
Twenty years ago it was all about 'debt consolidation' and now it's the death brigade.
The adverts on daytime TV are sooo depressing; parsnip jam or no parsnip jam.

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vampirequeen Wed 21-Oct-20 14:25:59

That parsnip jam bloke is seriously weird. In the first advert we see him watching 'birds' through binoculars. He seemed to be the local voyeur and no one batted an eye.

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EllanVannin Wed 21-Oct-20 14:45:24

I'm going to ask these companies for a free shredder as the most mail I receive in a year is about Life Insurance, Wills, Funerals, Home Delivery meals, Immobility items, Retirement Villages in your area, Incontinence, Snug Slippers, the list goes on. Ah well, soon be November 5th----I'll have my own bonfire.

I'm bombarded with the damn things and don't need reminding that my days could be numbered.

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