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Table manners

(150 Posts)
vampirequeen Fri 31-Jan-20 12:32:31

More specifically...using a knife and fork.

This is a real bugbear with me. I know it's minor in the grand scheme of things but it totally winds me up whenever I see it. When did we stop using the knife and fork to cut a bite size piece off a larger piece of food which could be put into the mouth at one go? Nowadays people seem to either cut all their food up then eat with only the fork or stab a large piece of food with the fork and bite piece off it. Worse still they may bypass the fork all together and simply pick up the food with their fingers.

Like I said before I know it's a minor thing but it drives me insane when I see it.

SueDonim Sat 01-Feb-20 21:14:01

Daisyboots that brings back memories of our first visit to a Macdonald’s, which happened to be in Germany. We were given our meal and then we looked around for the cutlery etc. We were quite taken aback when we were told there wasn’t any. grin

Vivian123 Sat 01-Feb-20 21:17:59

First time I put my health on the line and went to a McDonalds, a long time ago, I asked for a knife and fork and was told that that was not the way to eat the pap that they served up. I got grease all over my fingers and I also got chronic indigestion from the (whatever it was) that I put in my mouth. I learnt my lesson and would never eat one of those terrible buns with whatever is inside, again. I had, of course, washed my hands first, thank goodness. It must be more hygienic to use cutlery than fingers. Why aren't people charged with child cruelty. who take their children to one of these obesity making places. Doesn't surprise me that some of our children are obese. Give me good home cooked meal, fresh food that is on a plate and can be eaten properly. I do eat out, at proper restaurants and I use cutlery. I admire Rutland, who have, a the time of printing, managed to avoid having a McDonalds in the County. I have, no doubt that this will change, as there is a lot of money to be made out of selling unhealthy food.

MissAdventure Sat 01-Feb-20 21:21:32

[hmm

Chestnut Sat 01-Feb-20 23:28:45

Helleborus: AIBU = am I being unreasonable?

Chestnut Sat 01-Feb-20 23:34:44

I think McDonald's has its place as long as you don't eat there all the time. It's very useful when travelling home at around 6pm with young children who are nodding off in the car! They will happily chomp away on the way home, thus killing two birds with one stone, keeps them awake and no need to feed them when you arrive home, just get them ready for bed. It's also a treat for them which they can eat with their fingers!

anxiousgran Sat 01-Feb-20 23:38:41

I once saw a woman when I was in New York trying to eat a chicken leg, on the bone, just with her fork, even though the table was set with a knife. It was all I could do to stop myself going over to show her how to use a knife.

drifter Sun 02-Feb-20 02:32:48

Im a brit.with lots of cousins in PA usa.i dont know know there table maners.but when i eat.its a fork in my right hand and knife in my left hand for cutting meat.but if i debone meat.i use a knife in my right hand

OPgrndtr Sun 02-Feb-20 02:55:11

American Gran here. I went to finishing school and have what was taught in this country to be proper table manners. I can't stand when someone blows their nose at the table while we are eating!

Txquiltz Sun 02-Feb-20 03:14:03

How about being a gracious guest? When confronted with different habits in different countries.....do as the Romans do. I do expect good manners from those at my table...especially my GC. They are learning and I want the lessons to be the best I can provide.

Lyndiloo Sun 02-Feb-20 04:09:04

I come from a long line of working class people, but my mum was always very strict on table manners. We were all taught how to set a table properly too. And I'm so grateful for that!

Nowadays, people don't seem to be much bothered, and it drives me mad!

I hate to see a table set wrongly - with cutlery all over the place, and I can't bear to see a finished plate with the knife and fork just dropped down haphazardly onto it!

My son-in-law knows this, and says, 'What does it matter?' (He, and the rest of his family, never position their cutlery correctly when they've finished a meal, and, to my horror shock I'm afraid that my daughter has been lax in teaching her children this.) I, however, have insisted that when the children are with us, they use accepted table manners.

Now, if we go out for a meal together, or they are having a meal at our house, I have only to cast my eyes at the children's plates, and they quickly re-position their cutlery properly. (It makes me smile!)

If there's a right way, and a wrong way, why not use the right way? (It takes no more time!)

sodapop Sun 02-Feb-20 08:51:57

You are not McDonald's biggest fan then Vivian123. I agree the food is very mediocre and I don't enjoy it either. I think Chestnut has a point though, fast food can be useful occasionally and children enjoy the experience, provided their diet is a wholesome one for most of the time I see no harm in a burger now and again.
I like to see cutlery used correctly and table manners observed, asking to leave the table or pass condiments etc.

craftyone Sun 02-Feb-20 08:59:39

good table manners is ingrained, our parents led by example and we all followed. Knives and forks all of us and no talking with a full mouth. I am pleased that the grandchildren all have good table manners too, lucky me, I don`t have to keep my mouth zipped and they all know how to set the table properly

Too many parents opt out of the time taken to teach their children properly and for some that also extends to toilet training and using a pencil

Helenlouise3 Sun 02-Feb-20 10:32:12

Why does it matter in which hand you hold your knife and fork, as long as you use them? Myself & our son eat with cutlery in the traditional way. My husband and daughter eat with the fork in the right hand and knife in the left. My husband's answer has always. been that if you were using just a fork, then it would be in your right hand, so why change it, just because you have a knife as well

mokryna Sun 02-Feb-20 10:42:08

My américain friend, when she saw how I ate, using a knife and fork, thought I looked rude because, if I didn’t transfer the fork to my right hand it looked as though I was hungry and gobbling my food. Different cultures, different ideas.

timetogo2016 Sun 02-Feb-20 10:48:06

Helleborus, AIBU stands for am I being unreasonable.

trisher Sun 02-Feb-20 11:00:27

Manners change and adapt. I thought about the post about using a spoon and fork for dessert and googled dessert spoon. There are loads of different types of spoons, most of which we no longer use- coffee spoons anyone? Along with grape scissors they are possibly used solely by posh people the rest of us don't bother. Providing you aren't actually behaving in a way which upsets other diners I really think things like using your knife and fork together are just down to personal choice. I don't like washing up (I know the machine does it now, but old habits...)so when we have starters at family meals I state quite loudly "Continental rules apply keep your cutlery."

Callistemon Sun 02-Feb-20 11:18:13

How do you all eat spaghetti bolognaise?

With a knife and fork?
Spoon and twirl the fork on the spoon?
Just a fork and twirl it on the plate?
Or slurp?

lemongrove Sun 02-Feb-20 11:48:08

It depends on who else is at the table Callistemon ?
Usually though ( we had this for our meal just yesterday) I would have a knife and fork, cut up the spaghetti a bit to start with, and then just use a fork.
Possibly a bit of slurping goes on too.

lemongrove Sun 02-Feb-20 11:54:36

Vivian....Rutland is now getting a McD’s, on the outskirts of Oakham.

I agree with you though, have only had a burger there twice
( under protest ?) in my life and it was disgusting.
I suspect it may be much better in the US though.

winterwhite Sun 02-Feb-20 12:19:57

Oh gosh, grape scissors. It is awkward trying to extract just a few without ruining the whole bunch. We used to use baby nail scissors. Pale pink plastic handles and not very sharp but perfect for the job. Now we just pull and it's a lot worse.

JaneJudge Sun 02-Feb-20 17:31:41

Hmm I can't remember being expected to eat a burger with a knife and fork in wimpy!

Callistemon Sun 02-Feb-20 17:35:15

Spoon and twirl here, lemongrove which made DGS look at me in astonishment.

He just uses a fork to twist on the plate quite successfully and wondered why I needed a spoon.

Daisyboots Sun 02-Feb-20 22:34:09

Lemongrove McD burgers are just as awful in the USA. I found Burger King burgers much larger there than in Europe but Wendys were the best of the fast food burgers I tried. Although burgers in a proper restaurant can be really quite tasty and enjoyable. Far prefer a tasty steak though.

SueDonim Sun 02-Feb-20 22:41:34

A MacDonalds is the last port of call for me, when everywhere else is closed! grin Their veggie burgers are ok, though. I read somewhere that those screens that you order on nowadays are heaving with germs, which I suppose when you think of how many people must touch them isn’t surprising.

lemongrove Sun 02-Feb-20 22:43:25

Funny you should say that Daisy, as about 20 years ago I was in a distant city for a couple of days, and wanted something quick and easy to eat and saw a Wendys.It was really delicious and surprised me.
Since then, never came across another Wendys, although I may google and see where they are.
Had a McD burger about 25 years ago ( awful) and the only one since then was just before Christmas, and other people I was with wanted one, so I did too, it was even worse than I remembered.Pale, half cold fries, and a tiny flat tasteless meat patty in the bun.Never again!