What have you discovered in friends’, acquaintances’ homes?

As part of my work some years ago, I had to visit people in their homes. One person had a wall in their living room full of reproduction Victorian Memento Mori pictures (pictures of the dead).
Another person had a coffee table with a glass top, underneath the glass was something that looked very much like pubic hair in little clumps - I was too scared to ask!!

Quizzer Back in the early 60’s, my parents had a book which they had re-covered in brown paper. On the spine was written ‘Animals without Backbones’.
As a 13 year old I was not very interested in that sort of biology.
Years later, I found out that it was actually a copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.
Had I discovered this at the time, and smuggled it into school, I would have instantly rocketed to super-cool status.

We were feeding a friend’s cat while they were away.
She was meant to stay downstairs in the living room and kitchen. One day she sneaked out as I opened the kitchen door and she ran upstairs.

I went to retrieve her from the main bedroom and saw they had a large framed charcoal drawing of the male partner very obviously engaged in a ‘personal activity’.

Like Chewbacca I wished I hadn’t seen it.

Monica - your DH surely has to direct a production of Peter Pan next...
Other side of this coin is that things that went missing after a visit of the DCs when young and I declared must be behind the sofa or at the back of a flower bed never actually were.

My husband and I were painting rooms for his parents while they were away on a trip. As I was walking past their bed, I noticed a big black bird under it. I thought it must be a decoration on a hat but found it was real and had died there. Later, when we told them about finding the bird, they said they had seen a lot of droppings on the wooden furniture, but they just thought we had splattered paint everywhere!

Buffybee
Re friends conservatory The saying 'Nowt as queer as folk' comes to mind'

sarahellen ? I wasn't sure if I should laugh or not at first but when he switched the parrot on and it whizzed over my head, I jumped with fright.
I do look at them both in a different light now! ?

Our friend and neighbour has the engine block of a Maserati in his kitchen. He intends to turn it into a coffee table.

Growing up we had a suit of armour standing in the corner of our very ordinary living room. My dad thought it added a touch of class. ?

When I was small, my father had the spark plugs from his ancient car warming on the back of the Rayburn on cold winter nights.

My friend has a device fixed to the inside pot of her lavatory. When using said lavatory during the night, without switching the light on to disturb anyone sleeping, myriad neon colours shoot upwards highlighting one's nether regions.Very disconcerting in the wee small hours.

My grandmother had an umbrella stand made out of the lower leg part and foot of an elephant in her kitchen. My grandad had brought it back from somewhere or other, but I always thought it was sad and very creepy.
My brother in law had a gleaming and beautifully restored Triumph motorbike on a polished wooden plinth in his hallway. You could never just walk past without stopping to admire it.

"I actually ordered a pair of Geckos but they only had one left so sent the scorpion instead. "

Of course they did. When they're out of geckos you always get a scorpion.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the Daily Mail - what a shock ...

Years ago I attended a meeting at a friend's house and noticed she had a Meissen monkey band in her bookcase. Must have been thirty grand's worth even then. Blimey!

gasping here! unbelievable and I worry about a bit of dust!

I am sorry if I am being dim Chewbacca but what was shocking about the self portrait of the couple above their bed?

I used to clean and care for a lady who I'm convinced must have given someone the idea of Hyacinth Bouquet.

She had all of her faculties, as did her husband, who was a spritely 78 years old.

They didn't have a physical relationship, and bickered constantly.

They had book shelves in their living room, directly behind where this lady sat, so I squeezed in behind her and asked if it was ok to put the books on her table for her to decide what to do with them.

I started taking out some books, and behind them was a whole hidden layer, containing very, very graphic pornography - books and homemade videos, extremely compromising photos, and love letters. (Him and his wife's homehelp!)

I thought I was going to faint!

I think you get First Prize MissAdventure!

DanniRae, erm... It was a portrait of my friend and her husband naked and they were clearly enjoying themselves and each other. It had obviously been done many years ago, when they were much younger, and probably quite enthusiastic!

How did you know they were enthusiastic?
Were they smiling?

To be fair MissA I didn't hang around long enough to examine it for very long! It must have been a lovely thing for them to keep but if you knew my friend, you'd have been just as surprised as I was!

My DH once worked in somebody's house where a whole room was dedicated to Hitler!

My MIL had an electrician in to do some work on her bungalow. He came down from the loft and asked her why she had a car interior up there. She was surprised, as we had sneaked it up there one day for safe-keeping while she wasn't looking. Next visit we got the talk 'well, you will have even more stuff to clear out when I die'. We sold it all shortly after and when she died there was so much of her stuff to get rid of that we almost got loyalty cards at the local tip lol!!!

Just read all these to my DH and we are both in hysterics ??

My mum had a wooden mallet at the side of the bed.