What have you discovered in friends’, acquaintances’ homes?

My mother has a child’s toy-a shark litter picker, bought from The Sea Life Centre. She keeps it by the front door, in case she has an intruder: she’s planning to grab his testicles with it, so that he will back off. We’re trying to persuade her to get a chain on the door instead.

My parents went to Italy many years ago to visit my sister. They were invited to a friend’s house for a drink and on the coffee table was a very old album of the couple’s wedding. Mum had a look through and on every photo had drawn on them in biro moustaches, beards hats etc. Mum didn’t dare laugh ?

.....and, some few years ago the cottage opposite our house was put up for sale after the elderly owner died. In the middle of the large sitting room was a plumbed-in WC standing completely alone. Weird!

My grandparents had a stuffed alligator on the wall half way up the stairs. The only loo was upstairs and it frightened the ‘bejesus’ out of me. It was like the Mona Lisa and followed you all the way up the stairs. The stuff of nightmares ?.
DD’s brother-in-law & his wife have a full sized, rather moth eaten stuffed lion in the middle of their sitting room. (they don’t have any children ......)

Oh the tales I could tell.

One (very large) house I visited had a room that was permanently decorated for Christmas, along with a full sized Santa figure that sang and talked from his rocking chair in the corner.

Another house had decorative manhole and grid covers adorning the walls and the owners explained they were so heavy he occasionally worried the walls might collapse! And, no, he is not alone.

Just read all these to my DH and we are both in hysterics ??

My mum had a wooden mallet at the side of the bed.

My MIL had an electrician in to do some work on her bungalow. He came down from the loft and asked her why she had a car interior up there. She was surprised, as we had sneaked it up there one day for safe-keeping while she wasn't looking. Next visit we got the talk 'well, you will have even more stuff to clear out when I die'. We sold it all shortly after and when she died there was so much of her stuff to get rid of that we almost got loyalty cards at the local tip lol!!!

My DH once worked in somebody's house where a whole room was dedicated to Hitler!

To be fair MissA I didn't hang around long enough to examine it for very long! It must have been a lovely thing for them to keep but if you knew my friend, you'd have been just as surprised as I was!

How did you know they were enthusiastic?
Were they smiling?

DanniRae, erm... It was a portrait of my friend and her husband naked and they were clearly enjoying themselves and each other. It had obviously been done many years ago, when they were much younger, and probably quite enthusiastic!

I think you get First Prize MissAdventure!

I used to clean and care for a lady who I'm convinced must have given someone the idea of Hyacinth Bouquet.

She had all of her faculties, as did her husband, who was a spritely 78 years old.

They didn't have a physical relationship, and bickered constantly.

They had book shelves in their living room, directly behind where this lady sat, so I squeezed in behind her and asked if it was ok to put the books on her table for her to decide what to do with them.

I started taking out some books, and behind them was a whole hidden layer, containing very, very graphic pornography - books and homemade videos, extremely compromising photos, and love letters. (Him and his wife's homehelp!)

I thought I was going to faint!

I am sorry if I am being dim Chewbacca but what was shocking about the self portrait of the couple above their bed?

gasping here! unbelievable and I worry about a bit of dust!

Years ago I attended a meeting at a friend's house and noticed she had a Meissen monkey band in her bookcase. Must have been thirty grand's worth even then. Blimey!

the Daily Mail - what a shock ...

"I actually ordered a pair of Geckos but they only had one left so sent the scorpion instead. "

Of course they did. When they're out of geckos you always get a scorpion.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My grandmother had an umbrella stand made out of the lower leg part and foot of an elephant in her kitchen. My grandad had brought it back from somewhere or other, but I always thought it was sad and very creepy.
My brother in law had a gleaming and beautifully restored Triumph motorbike on a polished wooden plinth in his hallway. You could never just walk past without stopping to admire it.

My friend has a device fixed to the inside pot of her lavatory. When using said lavatory during the night, without switching the light on to disturb anyone sleeping, myriad neon colours shoot upwards highlighting one's nether regions.Very disconcerting in the wee small hours.

When I was small, my father had the spark plugs from his ancient car warming on the back of the Rayburn on cold winter nights.

Growing up we had a suit of armour standing in the corner of our very ordinary living room. My dad thought it added a touch of class. ?

Our friend and neighbour has the engine block of a Maserati in his kitchen. He intends to turn it into a coffee table.

sarahellen ? I wasn't sure if I should laugh or not at first but when he switched the parrot on and it whizzed over my head, I jumped with fright.
I do look at them both in a different light now! ?

Buffybee
Re friends conservatory The saying 'Nowt as queer as folk' comes to mind'