New Year's Eve Melancholy

Some of the worst nights ever have been at New Year. Our lovely dog had to be put to sleep on Hogmanay when I was 17; in 1974, I was alone in the parents' accommodation in Birmingham Children's Hospital where my younger DS, not quite 2, had been admitted prior to bowel surgery. On New Year's Day 1986 my then husband uttered the dread words, 'we need to talk'. We did, and yes, he had met someone. Another time, I had to arrange the funeral of my dear aunt
and uncle on NYE - they'd died within a week of each other.
On the other hand - my much loved granddaughter was born in the final hour of 1991. She has brought me great happiness for 28 years.
BTW - the DS who had the big operation survived and thrived and is now a middle-aged dad.

I think a lot of people feel this way, especially the older you get. I’ve always found Auld Lang syne (so?) the saddest of songs.

My brother died New Years Eve,what with that and losing my husband Boxing Day I find the time very hard but have to keep a bright face on it for my children

Big hugs , Madmum38, I cannot find any words that may be of comfort, but wanted to let you know thatbyou are being thought of.

My birthday is New Years Eve, always a great day for me. Every big 5 years, I have had a big holiday. 45 and Paris, 50 and New York, 55 and Rio. Here was the introduction of throwing Gladioli into the sea to remember those who had passed. 6 million people waiting patiently till Midnight. I only wish I knew before as my husband had died 5 months before x

Fifty-odd years ago I married on NYE. Seemed a good idea at the time - out with the old, in with the new and, as we each had a Scottish parent who celebrated Hogmanay, we even had a piper at the wedding. However, he left me 11 years later. A couple of years after that he rang, on NYE of all days, to tell me he'd moved on to yet another woman and would I prepare our son for this change to his life!
After all these years I still feel like OP Lyndiloo says Inside, I'm crying.

I used to love New Year’s Eve.

The incredibly drunken happy ones of my youth, so many friends, so much hope for the future.

Then as we got older, a mixture of all kinds of evenings, some great ones at the village pub, parties which included the children, dinners and dancing, and mostly that grateful feeling for having good friends around you.

But things have changed, now I’ve lost that optimism, and all I hope for the new year, is that it stays the same, but I do hope there’s a wonderful future out there for my children and grandchildren, and to all of you.

Happy new year.

Ive never much bothered with New Years Eve but this year I can honestly say I have never been more depressed or without hope in all my 70 years. As a Country we seem to be going backwards. All the things we have achieved since WW2 are being questioned again. Racial hatred is more prevalent than at any time I can remember. We elect liars and care nothing for our wonderful public sector workers who are struggling to cope due to underfunding.. There are more homeless people on the streets than in 30 years. On a personal level its been an awful year with my daughter's husband leaving her after 20 years when she was going through IVF treatment for a much wanted child, meaning she will never now have a child of her own and I won't be a grandmother. With the lack of opportunities in the UK and the need for a fresh start there is a strong likelihood she will move to Australia and if that happens they might as well put me in a box because she is my sunshine and life without her would be unbearable. Then there is brexit of course which has ruined my plans for retirement but of course we are told by leave voters we have to accept it, notwithstanding if a foreign power had tried to take away our valuable freedoms and rights as our own countrymen have we would have declared war on it.

I always dread New Year's Eve too. My Mum, who is 99, comes for Christmas every year and always wants to stay for New Year's Eve. I really don't know why because my husband sits in the back room and keeps himself to himself, and she sits with me in the front room, sighing, and saying in an accusing voice "So, this is New Year's Eve is it?"

I used to enjoy NYE when I was younger and we went out to parties or held them ourselves. Now I don't have the nerve to throw a party because (a) my husband finds socialising difficult, especially with people he doesn't know that well, my Mum talks incessantly about her woes to anyone and everyone. And supposing nobody turned up! How devastating that would be.

On a less frivolous note, I do agree with what Hamp75 says. I do find the current political and social situation very depressing. However, after an exhausting Christmas, given half the chance I would try to set aside those sad feelings and enjoy a dance, a sing and a drink, if only my situation lent itself to it.

It's all a nonsense really isn't it. It's just another day in our lives but nevertheless I would love to go to a really good party.

That sounds dire Eloethan
Put the tv on and have a few drinks, your Mother too, and it will seem a bit more cheerful.How amazing to still have your Mother around at that great age. Mine died fairly young, but had she lived would have been 108 ( so wouldn't still be here!)

I can’t believe it’ll be 20 years since we entered the 21st century. What an amazing night watching the bonfires being lit all along the coast and having fun with friends & neighbours until we staggered homewards for breakfast! Great memories of that and many other New Year celebrations. DH died in a January so these days I don't have the heart for it and am happy to go to bed at 5 past midnight. I try not to look back and keep positive about the future but it’s not easy. I have friends arriving from Scotland on the 1st and will be joining them for a few days in Cornwall in a tiny fisherman’s cottage. Different and so thoughtful of them.

New year was so exciting when I was a child in Scotland. More so than xmas. The carpet was rolled back ready and we went to bed in the afternoon and tried to sleep so we could be awake for the party. A party that lasted until daylight. No drink was poured until midnight. Everyone went round the houses and eventually congregated in one. Usually ours. There would be singing and dancing. A neighbour played the accordion. The focus was always on the hope for the future . Great memories but time moves on. We still toast and celebrate the new year with friends but it is much quieter.

NYE has never been a major event or party time for me but I am happy to share and enjoy whatever celebrations happen to be around me or to be very quiet and alone.

I like to do a personal annual review about the closing year and to think about what has been good and to feel gratitude for these times, what has been painful, losses and gains, the people most important to me and how they are travelling, what I have learnt, what I could have done better and hopes and plans for the coming year. I like to think of the beginning of the new year as being a bit like opening the first page of a new book - a mystery tour of exploration and discovery.

Also agree with BradfordLass-

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

and old lang syne?

My parents acknowledged the start of a new year quietly with a toast at home. We tend to do the same, neither of us are party people, although there were a few years when we spent the evening with friends who enjoyed a bigger celebration. There’s a lot of sadness and worry around for us at the moment but also positives to reflect on. We’ll do so quietly during the day. Both unwell at the moment we’ll probably be in bed well before midnight. Next year? This year has taught us not to assume anything so we’ll just wait and see. I decided long ago it’s absolutely fine to tackle NYE and the year to come in our own way and not be concerned if others approach life differently.

I didn’t realise so many people actually dislike NewYear! I think my dislike stems from memories as a child of my dear mum being in hospital with something or other nearly every year. Now I just ignore New Years Eve, but hubby and I make a point of going off to a beach somewhere for a good walk on New Year’s Day and treat ourselves to fish and chips. I too have lost several good friends way before their time but I owe it to them to enjoy the extra years I’ve been granted.

There are different things here, as I see it.
On the one hand -
Reflecting on the outgoing year, whether with nostalgia, sadness or relief.
Contemplating the coming year, again whether with hopes or fears.
And on the other -
All the NYE/Hogmanay malarkey, much of it faked and forced (remember the Queen’s expression at the Millennium celebrations with Tony Blair?) but at best, taking that step into the future with family and friends who are after all, our link to the past and the future.
But spare me Jools Holland please!

I will try to sleep through it but suspect I will be woken by other people’s fireworks and a distraught dog.
I will —probably— undoubtedly shed some tears and will be glad when the new day dawns.

No Jools for me....oh dear no.

I too remember Hogmanay in Scotland being special more so than Christmas. It lasted days! All full of merriment (and alcohol) don't think I ever thought about auld lang syne. Sang it, of course, but the sentiment went over my head!

Now am not so keen. In fact for the last few years, I haven't even waited up for the bells. This year I definitely won't be. Got 6 GC to look after!!! It comes...it goes....Happy New Year everyone when it comes.

I was going to say "Oh come on now all you moaners, can't you just relax and enjoy a toast for once", with the sad memories and all. And then Maw had to remind me of the bluddy fireworks. Now I am getting quite cross. There were no fireworks when we were young.
Anyway, here I've made a black bun for tradition's sake and have some drinks in so we'll either stay here or venture round to a neighbour's...

Lyndiloo that’s very much what Auld Lang Syne is about. Time to reflect.

Sad time. Awful family trouble for last 2 years with no respite in sight. You just have to get through life as best you can. Sorry.

Actually, thinking back 55+ years to Hogmanay in the Borders, I do remember snogging some rather tasty “young men” (i.e.boys) in the Market Place under the clock.....
? maybe nostalgia isn’t all bad
But no bliddy fireworks!

It's one more day to be grateful for being alive .. To love and suffer with all mankind ..

B Lass & Maw B, very simple but profound stuff on page one. Can't stop reflecting on both of your sagacity a whole day later. Thank you both.