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New Year's Eve Melancholy

(146 Posts)
Lyndiloo Sun 29-Dec-19 03:42:16

Does anyone share my dread of New Year's Eve?

For everyone else it seems a joyful, positive time - looking forward to the year ahead and what happiness/success it might bring.

But for me, it's always a time of looking back, and feeling sad. Thinking of all those whom I've loved and have gone.

I put on a good show, of course - I wouldn't want to spoil all the excitement for everybody else. But inside, I'm crying.

Lyndiloo Sun 29-Dec-19 15:04:22

Reading all your posts has changed my perspective a bit. (I'm sitting here thinking, 'Why should I be sad - it's ridiculous!')

So ... a New Year's Resolution ... come a bit early.

I shall welcome in the New Year with open arms. Say 'Thank You' for all the positive things I have in my life, and another big 'Thank You' for all the wonderful, loving people I have been lucky enough to have had in my life, and drink a cheerful toast to bless them ... wherever they are. Then on with the party!

No more doom and gloom!

And with that, let me wish a Happy New Year to you all! wine

bluejay29 Sun 29-Dec-19 15:05:04

When I was young we lived in New Zealand, we had long hot Summer days at Xmas and New Year .. and a long school holiday. Also Weddings and Christenings and days out to look forward to. On New Years day we picnicked with the whole family on the beach nearby and swam all day. It was too hot to eat Xmas dinner etc. and we spent most of the day on the beach anyway.. totally different atmosphere, I loved it !! No-one seemed sad - the time we did feel a bit down was in July... the middle of Winter. (I was born in London).

Fiachna50 Sun 29-Dec-19 15:13:48

It's not the same as the Hogmanay celebrations of my young years. The farce in Edinburgh is not what Hogmanay was about. I don't go near that. Im happy to sit up with a good book, a box of sweeties and a wee glass of something for the bells. It is a strange time of year this. I do remember folks who have died, but Im grateful to be looking at another year. So many of my family and friends didnt get this chance. I try and feel optimistic about the coming year. Hope 2020 is a good year for everyone on Gransnet.

Naty Sun 29-Dec-19 15:14:09

I think we should all adopt the mentality of the 12 week year. Every 12 weeks, have a reset to our lives. Take inventory, clean, purge and change the course of life even in the smallest of ways. This way, new year's won't be such a drastic punch in the gut.

But yes, I've had many sad new year's eves with the loss of dear family.

Naty Sun 29-Dec-19 15:14:49

This is based on a book! It's not my idea.

Rosina Sun 29-Dec-19 15:26:43

This has been a hard year as I have lost two relatives and a very dear friend. I really don't like NYE for the 'looking back' aspect, and usually treat it like any other day and go to bed at the same time. I've had enough of other people, food and drink by now anyway!

BlueBelle Sun 29-Dec-19 15:31:27

I too don’t look forward to new year at all in fact I can’t wait to get it over and on to springtime This years been a bit of a bugger but every year I expect the next one to be a bit better and it never is I somehow don’t think 2020 will be good for a lot of us I m going through a bit of a sad phase at the moment
Sorry to be a downer

DanniRae Sun 29-Dec-19 15:41:16

2019 has been a good year for me - my first grandchild was born this year and my precious son married his lovely partner in September and I am so grateful for these wonderful events.

Mr R and I will spend New Years Eve at home because our little dog hates fireworks. I will struggle to last out till midnight but wouldn't want Mr R to see in the New Year on his own.

Finally I wish EVERYONE on here a very Happy New Year!! smilewinesmile

millymouge Sun 29-Dec-19 15:42:10

I have never liked a New Year, I think it has always been the uncertainty of the future. However, 2019 has been a particularly horribly year for me that I am actually looking forward to 2020 in the hope that it is going to improve. So to everyone I won’t wish a Happy New Year, but instead a year that will hopefully bring you peace and hope for your future.

AGAA4 Sun 29-Dec-19 15:57:42

flowers to all who will be feeling sad on NYE. I think all the false jollity over Christmas and New Year is particularly difficult for all those who are alone and missing loved ones.

I will be focusing on the first of January and back to normality

Dukeybabe62 Sun 29-Dec-19 16:04:00

My DH and I met on NYE many moons ago, so it is a nice anniversary for us, although we do not make a big deal of it celebrating. On the down side my Dad's birthday was New Year's day and really miss wishing him a happy birthday and hearing his voice. We will have a quiet evening in with our DS who is visiting and raise a glass at midnight to all our loved ones here and gone, then onto another year and all the joy and challenges that it brings!
Happy New Year one and all!
wine

SueDonim Sun 29-Dec-19 16:06:16

I’ve never liked NYE. I get all maudlin as in ‘Another year passed and nothing achieved’ but thankfully am back to my normal self when I get up on NYD.

This time last year we had no idea that my beloved sister was harbouring a brain tumour that would kill her less than four months later. We’ve spent far too much time at funerals over the past 18mths, including that of a beautiful 23yo young woman. All in all, I’ll be happy to see the back of 2019 and will have spring bulbs and flowers in the house to remind myself to look forward to hopefully sunnier days in 2020.

Flowerette Sun 29-Dec-19 16:11:35

I used to before but not I make sure if all being well we go out for a meal show and dance for new year ..:: otherwise New Year’s Eve just closes in on me and I stare at the tv despairingly ... With Jools Holland on it ?
We save up all year and we’ve done it. Ow for at least 7 years now ...it finishes the year off nicely and I don’t have time to think about things when the bells chime as everybody singing and dancing and I dance my stress off ( I don’t drink alcohol and neither does hubby now ) last year it was a George Michael tribute .. ❤️ He was brilliant and this year it’s a dirty dancing / grease show ?

Granny23 Sun 29-Dec-19 17:13:08

My Gran was from Aberdeenshire, so did not celebrate Christmas but DID celebrate New Year in a big way. We all went to her house for presents and broth, the big steak pie and trifle or dumpling all cooked on a range. My Granny, on the other hand did do Christmas, came to our house with loads of presents and we had the big chicken dinner with all the trimmings. Back in the day, in Scotland, Christmas and Boxing days were not statutory holidays, shops were open and buses/trains ran. Not so on New Year's Day. so we had to walk to Gran's house and back about a 5 mile round trip. I remember that one year when there was deep snow, big sister and I travelled in state on the sledge that Dad had made for us.

I tend to stick to the old ways, with house thoroughly cleaned on Hogmany, fire cleared out and reset for lighting in New Year and not a drop of drink until after the bells.

EllaKeat Sun 29-Dec-19 17:20:17

We have always made a big thing of New Year's Eve. The while family comes, food is eaten and the children are top and tailed in bed, upon which, alcohol is taken and raucous board games played.
This is the first year, for personal reasons, I am dreading it. DH and DS are keeping things upbeat, so hopeful to really enjoy a happy New Year????

farview Sun 29-Dec-19 17:33:00

Well I love each New Year,dont party anymore, no more 5a.m walking home from our friends takes it out of me ...may not even stay up until midnight..not sat with miserable bat of a H anyway haha...but as bad this year has been a few times..I look forward with love and hope to 2020..and I'm glad that I'm around to greet it...I have my case packed for the 'call' from Dubai that my DD is in labour..shes having a caesarean so will need help with the 3yr old DGS..number 9 grandchild will start my year off on a happy note...so please all have A HAPPY NEW YEAR..God bless and take care x

Flowerette Sun 29-Dec-19 18:00:56

SueDonim
I am thinking of you
We lost my dear sister in the year 2000
She was 54 .. I am 56 now she was 17 years older than me ....
This is why I get out New Year too .. to make tbe most of life ...

Madwoman11 Sun 29-Dec-19 18:04:02

I can understand missing lost loved ones, but having come through cancer believe me it makes you glad to see another year x

Chaitriona Sun 29-Dec-19 18:09:05

There was always a sort of solemnity to the New Year. The cleaning of the house. My father in a suit and tie. The table with the black bun and the shortbread and the drinks. Opening the door to let the old year out. Waiting for the moment. The ships sounding their foghorns on the Forth. The toast and people kissing each other. Waiting for your first foot. And then the long night with your neighbours, the open doors, the people with their bottles in their pockets. There was never very much trouble at the New Year unlike other nights. The police had an easy time. I did feel there was a sadness as well for older people. They would have been remembering New Years past. And now that sadness is mine though it is many years since I have taken in the New Year. It would be unthinkable for my parents not to have taken in the New Year. What terrible calamities would happen if you did not maintain the traditions. That way of life is gone for me. Like so much else that one thought had always been and would always be.

Bridgeit Sun 29-Dec-19 18:12:00

I think it shows what a lovely caring person you are, it is
Sad but it is also a loving natural thing to do, having said that I believe sometimes we need to put a time restriction on our thoughts & feelings, one way to do this is to set aside a special time & place to reflect & remember, perhaps lighting candles or placing flowers somewhere special or listen to a favourite melody. Take a few minutes afterwards to bring yourself back to the here & now knowing that your loved ones will always be a part of you... very best wishes

Joplin Sun 29-Dec-19 18:46:57

Matelda - good luck with your operation. I do hope it goes well. x

Mollyplop Sun 29-Dec-19 19:37:41

BradfordLass72 I always look for your responses. You are so wise and talk such sense. Xx

lizzypopbottle Sun 29-Dec-19 19:42:03

It's just like birthdays, where you're not a year older; you are one day older than you were yesterday, when it wasn't your birthday. New Year's Eve simply ushers in the next day, which happens to be January 1st.

Madgran77 Sun 29-Dec-19 19:50:43

I know what you mean. To be honest I just find this time of year sad really. And I have never understood the whole fuss about New Year. Wil be glad when it is all over and done with!

SueDonim Sun 29-Dec-19 20:02:26

Thank you, Flowerette. My sister was granted more years than your poor sister, flowers but like yours, she was also a number of years older than me and I never imagined life without her. She was a second mother to me in childhood and I don’t think ever stopped worrying about me!

She left two wonderful children and five gorgeous grandchildren, of whom I am so very fond and I am very appreciative of them, too. smile